Stress is building up

Stress has kinda built up in me. Although I still have quite a bit of time with me, I realise that I have not really done much for the meditation workshop which I have agreed to organise earlier. Worse of all, the dates clash with CEP, meaning I will lose a pool of manpower + participants.

Organising this event is not as easy as i have expected. Afterall, its expected to be a large scale external event, unlike the activities I used to have in NUS, where facilities, manpower and even money is more readily available. The first and foremost difficulty is getting a location for the event, before I can start of with publicity, registrations and all the other matters. And the fact that I am now a full time worker doesn help, meaning i have less time to source of manpower and resources.

Nvtheless, I hope I can learn from my snrs, who have had many experiences in organising external meditation retreats and camps. I guess its a good way to kick myself OUT from my current status. Dun wish to stay on only at the participating level, without taking up any roles and responsibilities. No point attending countless of events but not contributing la, really no point leh...

My colleague told me that she has many things to do, but no mood to do. That is what i have been experiencing these days... so many things to do but lazy to do. At work, i have reports to write and results to analyse, and off work, i have posters to design and websites to update, but am super lazy and demotivated to do them. I find excuses by convincing myself that i am suffering from poor health lately, shld rest more. But its kinda bullshxx....

I dun understand gals. They can be so close to you at one moment, but ignore u completely later. And after that, she wants to talk to you again. Shld i be feeling guilty? Or shld i simply bochap? A guy fren said something very interesting to me today: When gals start to share with me their feelings, life story, or ask this and that abt my personal life, i will close my connection with them. Hmmmm... something to ponder abt.