Ego-rdon

I m sincerely apologetic to frens who found it a sore to read my recent postings which were mostly abt my job hunt. Paiseh, but jus like I dun really enjoy reading some of my frens' blogs, I feel they have their perfect rights to write whatever they want, cos thats THEIR blog :) Geddit?

It has been a few days already, but the cold hard stare from the ST Aero interviewer remained vivid in my mind. I beckoned he must be a highly intelligent and cunning superior, who is v good in observing ppl and reading their minds. Although I tried my best to act as if i am interested in the job during the 1st hr of the interview, I was totally caught unprepared when they offered me the job on spot. Instead of feeling triumphant and joyous like any fresh grads wud have felt upon receiving the 'good news', I gave them the 'oh shxt!' look. That interviewer must have observed this and gave me the super cold and hard stare, probably the most scary one i have ever seen in life.

This handsome lad must be trying hard to judge if i was lying or indeed truthful, when i told them that i need to consult my parents on whether to accept the job. I knew the tricks to it - Ppl who lie tend to have shifty eyes and avoid eye contacts. He may be purposely staring at me to see if i wud feel intimidated and thus, gave myself away. As such, i told myself to act graciously, as I firmly laid my eyes against his piercing stares, alongside with a confident reply tat yeah, i really need to consult my parents as i sincerely feel tat its my responsibility to do so. Talk abt acting skills, do i qualify to be a good actor? haha.. Well, he may not be taken in though.

I told my colleagues that I am an ego driven machine. My motivations and inspirations came most furiously whenever my ego has been disturbed or threatened. During my sec sch, I studied hard not becos I feel the impt of good grades, but i fought hard to remain in the top 5 every yr in the entire sch cohort. Unfortunately, my common test results in TJC then were mostly above average, and hence, I got conceited, and as a result I din really do well for my A levels. Alas, my final yr grades in NUS were once again a result of my own ego, trying to prove to myself that "Hey! i am capable of scoring in the NUS system, ok?". But no dean list though, but enough Ace to impress the interviewers (by jus showing them my yr 4 results, ahhaha).

Once again, I feel my latest job hunt may be a result of my own ego too, although not 100%. After resigning, ppl have been asking me if i have found a job. My ans is a NO, and most of their replies were often v negative and in shocks. I thank these ppl for giving me the extra push to hunt for a job fast. I must say getting these 2 job offers is by NO CHANCE luck, pls..... I dislike ppl telling me "hey u r so lucky to get a job fast"... damm. . i got them with my own capabilities, ok?

But dun get me wrong, i am not exactly optimistic abt my change of job. No doubt i move on in search of greater exposure, hoping to learn new skills after realising how stagnant i can get in my prev job, i cant guarantee that my future employment will be a better one. I choose not to be too positive abt it. Thanks to some frens who congratulated me tat i have found myself a 'good job'... but i seriously doubt it will be a GOOD job jus by itself... it also depends on myself, the company, the boss, the colleagues and the job nature itself. If i dun dare to try, i 'll nv get the answer....