With the permanent closure of ae2004's blog, we have another one from pearl again. Welcome back, and I believe many of us will have the pleasure to read abt ur inner thoughts once again.
Although I only started blogging officially more than 2 yrs ago, my habit of writing abt myself and my life started several years back. I used to type my feelings and reflections using MS Words, and I did share quite a few of these entries to my friends and BS snrs in the past. I guess I cannot live without writing (or talking to myself as mentioned by zea and cbs), except for the fact that my comfort level of sharing them openly in my blog varies from time to time. There r times that i simply dun feel like sharing and writing and hence, i wud leave my blog alone. Whenever i feel like sharing again, i wud not hesitate to pour them out in my blog. This has always been a pretty convenient outlet for me to express myself.
This morning i visited the Prison school at KBC. Noticed that the turn outs by the inmates were much less today, probably only 2/3 or even 1/2 the no. of what we had during my last visit. Perhaps many of them have already been released from the sch, or probably some of them has lost interest in buddhism?
Saw several familiar faces whom i have interacted with during my last session with them. I remembered there were few of them who used to be very enthusiastic abt the Dharma session, and wud volunteer to lead the chants and prayers. However, they were so 'low key' and quiet today, and i wondered why? Perhaps they are tired, so their fire has died down. If the latter is true, then i wud say that thats its not an uncommon trend in the path of learning the Dharma. Just like myself, there were times that i was so enthu abt the Dharma, and wud diligently discipline myself to cultivate. But there were even more times that I started to slack like now.
Anyway, I am not supposed to judge or talk as if i am so great myself. I feel ashamed to visit them as a 'dharma worker/volunteer', when my own knowledge and practice in buddhism sux big time.
I have applied for the post of Prisons Officer twice, but has nv been called up for interview. I gave a 3rd try and applied the post of Maths Teacher in Prisons sch, but similarly to no avail. Sighz...
Sunday, May 29, 2005
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