This evening was damm unfortunate.
I was surfing the web half way when suddenly my screen blacked out. I tried to reboot, reinstall the windows but all my efforts were in vain. In the end, I have no choice but to format my PC.
While reinstalling my PC, i tried to meddle with my laptop. At least I have some back-ups in my laptop. As i tried to disjoin my laptop from the NUS domain since i am no longer using it in campus, i accidentally deleted the core user account, which means all my data are lost too. I tried all means to recover them but in vain.
What have been lost:
1) FYP source codes and report ****
2) Some nice photos, really nice ones ***
3) Important emails that I keep in outlook express *
4) Some very cute and childish MSN chat history by someone *****
Mabbe its time for me to part with them. Impermanence, but i am feeling damm lousy becos of this.
Monday, May 31, 2004
A Routined, Disciplined or Dead Life?
Few nights ago, Hong Leong Finance called us up to rush us paying up for the next car payment. We do not wish to pay, so we r prepared to see the car being towed away anytime.
Many friends have wondered why we are still keeping the car. The reason is because the car is registered under my dad's company name, and hence my dad doesn have the full rights to sell it. However, the estranged shareholder of my dad's company has refused to pay for the car, so the finance company is coming after my dad who is the gurantor for the car loan. We cant sell yet we are answerable for the loans... sighz.
I did some calculations on how i shld split up my pay. After deducting my CPFs, i shld be giving around 2K to my parents for the time being, leaving the remains for my daily expenses. I have to spend very wisely.
I always claim i dun like watching movies, partially becos i find it antagonising with meditation/developing concentration (as what sayalay always nag us against watching tvs and films). The other reason is becos of the $ factor. I am often more willing to spend on food than on movies, concerts or games. Oh well, I am a youngster too, i am often fascinated by the movie effects and captivated by those intriguing story lines... I also wish I can enjoy some good movies with frens, but $ is the problem. So i duno how i shld take it when I turned down ppl's invitation for a movie and they replied with an 'as expected'. I dun seek and need their understanding in my difficulties, but its definitely something I find extremely uncomfortable abt.
My parents asked me abt the meditation sitting tmr at BL. I told them that I wun be free to accompany them as I have duty at PKS Vesak Celebration. Futhermore, I think BL will have their own special celebration for vesak tmr so the usual sitting shld be cancelled. I told them tat BL is in huge debts and my dad asked me why i nv approach him for donations during his more 'well-to-do' days. As a businessman, making donations is really a norm to him, and they express their wish to make some small donations during their next visit to BL. Sadhu :D
Read a friend's blog on ppl failing to understand him. Well, its has nv occured to me that I need ppl to understand me much, cos firstly i dun need that and secondly its impossible to find or get ppl to understand me. I guess this applies to many other ppl as well.
Oh I would like to make an early wish to my smallbro Ong Wei Yang. Happy Birthday to you! May you practise the Dharma diligently :D Sorry didnt have time to get u a present yet.
Many friends have wondered why we are still keeping the car. The reason is because the car is registered under my dad's company name, and hence my dad doesn have the full rights to sell it. However, the estranged shareholder of my dad's company has refused to pay for the car, so the finance company is coming after my dad who is the gurantor for the car loan. We cant sell yet we are answerable for the loans... sighz.
I did some calculations on how i shld split up my pay. After deducting my CPFs, i shld be giving around 2K to my parents for the time being, leaving the remains for my daily expenses. I have to spend very wisely.
I always claim i dun like watching movies, partially becos i find it antagonising with meditation/developing concentration (as what sayalay always nag us against watching tvs and films). The other reason is becos of the $ factor. I am often more willing to spend on food than on movies, concerts or games. Oh well, I am a youngster too, i am often fascinated by the movie effects and captivated by those intriguing story lines... I also wish I can enjoy some good movies with frens, but $ is the problem. So i duno how i shld take it when I turned down ppl's invitation for a movie and they replied with an 'as expected'. I dun seek and need their understanding in my difficulties, but its definitely something I find extremely uncomfortable abt.
My parents asked me abt the meditation sitting tmr at BL. I told them that I wun be free to accompany them as I have duty at PKS Vesak Celebration. Futhermore, I think BL will have their own special celebration for vesak tmr so the usual sitting shld be cancelled. I told them tat BL is in huge debts and my dad asked me why i nv approach him for donations during his more 'well-to-do' days. As a businessman, making donations is really a norm to him, and they express their wish to make some small donations during their next visit to BL. Sadhu :D
Read a friend's blog on ppl failing to understand him. Well, its has nv occured to me that I need ppl to understand me much, cos firstly i dun need that and secondly its impossible to find or get ppl to understand me. I guess this applies to many other ppl as well.
Oh I would like to make an early wish to my smallbro Ong Wei Yang. Happy Birthday to you! May you practise the Dharma diligently :D Sorry didnt have time to get u a present yet.
Sunday, May 30, 2004
Back to Square One
Awww, I feel as if its just moments ago that I was excitedly looking foward to the weekend. And within an eye's wink, its the end of the beautiful sunday.
My past weekend was even more packed than the previous ones. On saturday, I went down directly from work to PKS for a 'dry run' for vesak day celebration. I came totally unprepared and was arrowed to guide a group. Initially I thought it was okie, as I was prepared to crap around with my lin chang biao xian, but embarassingly, the other gal from NTU arrowed to guide another grp did her job superbly. Oh well, since i have taken up the responsibility and the role, I think i shld have come prepared for saturday. Lack of professionalism again...
I decided not to go for the weekly sat sittings at CMC as I have an appointment in campus later in the evening. However, the power of spiritual support was too strong to be ignored. With katrine and OWY around, I found myself at geylang again, as I joined in the weekly meditation. It was a good sitting :D Smallbro came to join us later but refused to accompany home :(
I reached home at 9 plus and after washing up, I made my way back to campus. Tok cok + makan with my hall friends, and stayed there overnight. This morning ate Mac bkfast in sch and made my way home in the afternoon, and joined in the vesak celebration at EXPO.
Frankly speaking, I felt like sleeping jus now watching the stage play. I found it long winded, but the kids were super cute and fun. Overall, I think lotsa efforts have been spent and I really appreciate all the hard work. I enjoyed the chantings and buddhist songs most. Well done for the celebration tonight :D
But a thought came to my mind: I wonder how we are going to introduce our friends to buddhism. For instance tonite, we cant possibly bring our friends along with us to the celebration as most likely they will be turned off by the long chantings and 'dull' buddhist songs. Thats probably why its so hard to propagate the Dharma compared with other religion. On the other hand, we cant do away with all these traditional practices as they meant a lot to us and Buddhism in this greatest day of Vesak.
Well the supper tonite with chunkit and smallbro tree was too heavy... but i have to sleep soon. .tmr working again :( Aww back to square one............sian.
My past weekend was even more packed than the previous ones. On saturday, I went down directly from work to PKS for a 'dry run' for vesak day celebration. I came totally unprepared and was arrowed to guide a group. Initially I thought it was okie, as I was prepared to crap around with my lin chang biao xian, but embarassingly, the other gal from NTU arrowed to guide another grp did her job superbly. Oh well, since i have taken up the responsibility and the role, I think i shld have come prepared for saturday. Lack of professionalism again...
I decided not to go for the weekly sat sittings at CMC as I have an appointment in campus later in the evening. However, the power of spiritual support was too strong to be ignored. With katrine and OWY around, I found myself at geylang again, as I joined in the weekly meditation. It was a good sitting :D Smallbro came to join us later but refused to accompany home :(
I reached home at 9 plus and after washing up, I made my way back to campus. Tok cok + makan with my hall friends, and stayed there overnight. This morning ate Mac bkfast in sch and made my way home in the afternoon, and joined in the vesak celebration at EXPO.
Frankly speaking, I felt like sleeping jus now watching the stage play. I found it long winded, but the kids were super cute and fun. Overall, I think lotsa efforts have been spent and I really appreciate all the hard work. I enjoyed the chantings and buddhist songs most. Well done for the celebration tonight :D
But a thought came to my mind: I wonder how we are going to introduce our friends to buddhism. For instance tonite, we cant possibly bring our friends along with us to the celebration as most likely they will be turned off by the long chantings and 'dull' buddhist songs. Thats probably why its so hard to propagate the Dharma compared with other religion. On the other hand, we cant do away with all these traditional practices as they meant a lot to us and Buddhism in this greatest day of Vesak.
Well the supper tonite with chunkit and smallbro tree was too heavy... but i have to sleep soon. .tmr working again :( Aww back to square one............sian.
Friday, May 28, 2004
Fuse Blown
Everyday is so different, so 'interesting' and 'exciting'. There is nv a single day that is like another, and there shld be no other day that will be like today... wat craps..
So sorry that I have been flooding my daily work experiences in my blog. I know its a bit turn off to some of u, but this is one good channel that i can release my pressure and get the sorrows off my chest.
This morning i was quite loss in the workplace. My manager was away for a 1/2 day meeting and my foreman has taken a long leave. I am left solely in charged of the operations. Every minor things ppl will end up looking for me, and being so new here, how the heck am i going to know what decisions to make? But somehow thats the best way to learn, just that i dun like being in this transition and 'uncomfortable' zone. The feeling of being a 'xin jiao' is not so good...
This afternoon, I was thrilled that 4 IA students will be attached to me starting next month. Besides the existing NTU student working here as part-timer, i would have 5 students under my charge. Haha, but on what grounds do I have to take charge of them? Well.... i'll see how.
One of my admin staffs came over and passed me thick stack of documents for signing and approvals. They include claims, MCs, leave forms, Muslim Friday prayer offs, components order forms etc etc... We all know that we must be careful in signing documents, but there s really too much everyday. In the end signed them half-blindly. The admin staff later came to me that my signature is too simple, she advised me to change to a more complicated ones so that my staff will not be able to forge my signature. Arg... i hve been trying in vain for years to come out with a decent signatures.. . thumbprints anyone!?
Not long ago, another 'notorious' taxi driver came and I was tasked to handle him. Waseh the english terms he used were so cheeem.. and he even has a tape recorder to tape down our conversations. Strangely, I have nv lost my cool to these angry ppl, probably becos i know they are not angry at me but at the situation or at my staffs. "Its not my fault wat" haha... I think what ppl want most is respect.. and if u keep smiling and nodding ur head at them, and after they have finished blabberings, they will leave the place a happier man.
My foreman said to me: I will see when is the day ur fuse start to blow...
So sorry that I have been flooding my daily work experiences in my blog. I know its a bit turn off to some of u, but this is one good channel that i can release my pressure and get the sorrows off my chest.
This morning i was quite loss in the workplace. My manager was away for a 1/2 day meeting and my foreman has taken a long leave. I am left solely in charged of the operations. Every minor things ppl will end up looking for me, and being so new here, how the heck am i going to know what decisions to make? But somehow thats the best way to learn, just that i dun like being in this transition and 'uncomfortable' zone. The feeling of being a 'xin jiao' is not so good...
This afternoon, I was thrilled that 4 IA students will be attached to me starting next month. Besides the existing NTU student working here as part-timer, i would have 5 students under my charge. Haha, but on what grounds do I have to take charge of them? Well.... i'll see how.
One of my admin staffs came over and passed me thick stack of documents for signing and approvals. They include claims, MCs, leave forms, Muslim Friday prayer offs, components order forms etc etc... We all know that we must be careful in signing documents, but there s really too much everyday. In the end signed them half-blindly. The admin staff later came to me that my signature is too simple, she advised me to change to a more complicated ones so that my staff will not be able to forge my signature. Arg... i hve been trying in vain for years to come out with a decent signatures.. . thumbprints anyone!?
Not long ago, another 'notorious' taxi driver came and I was tasked to handle him. Waseh the english terms he used were so cheeem.. and he even has a tape recorder to tape down our conversations. Strangely, I have nv lost my cool to these angry ppl, probably becos i know they are not angry at me but at the situation or at my staffs. "Its not my fault wat" haha... I think what ppl want most is respect.. and if u keep smiling and nodding ur head at them, and after they have finished blabberings, they will leave the place a happier man.
My foreman said to me: I will see when is the day ur fuse start to blow...
Thursday, May 27, 2004
Work, woRk and More WorK
I left my work pretty unhappy today. Not becos I met someone or something nasty enough to make me upset, but I feel bad for not being 'responsible' and professional enough.
This evening, i happened to walk past the workshop when I saw a taxi driver talking in a very nasty tone with one of my foreman. I decided to intervene and see what I could help. Using the same approach, I managed to simmer down the driver and made him leave our workshop willingly. Unfortunately, he came back knocking on my door 10 minutes later when i was abt to pack up and leave. His taxi gave him a new problem and i had to get my foreman to rectify the problem.
While waiting for the repairs, he started to 'lor soh' to me. Unlike yday, I really wish to rush off. I kept telling him to refer to my foreman since thats his official job, but he continued to lor soh to me. As a result, I made use of a good chance when he was talking to other ppl and slipped off. When i was on my way home, I felt bad esp thinking that the driver will came back to look for me in vain. Aiz, still think i am not committed and pro enough for my job. BUt if i were to tell my manager, he would say: leave all these jobs to the foreman.. u r not supposed to do it! But i jus enjoy helping and attending to ppl, prob not when i wanna rush off.
On the brighter side, the taxi driver which i dealt with yday called me today to thank me again. He even asked me if i have taken my lunch. Wow, although this may sound superifical, but it kinda gives me some job satisfaction :D Still, i am pretty much dampened by the driver which i have pang seh today, hopefully i will get immuned and used to such situations soon.
Today, i finally made the decision not to puruse the matter regarding my technicians fighting. I knew the chinese guy wasnt too happy with my decision for he felt that the malay guy was in the wrong. In the end, i went up to him personally again and had a good chat with him. Initially, he saw me taking a piece of white paper and thought it was a warning letter for him. But upon realising its not, he broke into a great smile.
Shortly later, my foreman later told me i was too soft in dealing with these ppl. But what to do? Firstly i think i am too new and inexperienced in the company to exercise any rights, and secondly, I dun really believe in resorting harsh treatments, unless really necc.
Gradually, i feel i am getting more interested and happy with my job. And to Jane & Edward, i acatually sux in dealing with ppl. I may be a good fren, a good senior, but ask my friends in NUSBS, they can tell u Gordon is someone not easy to work with, haha.
akaaaa... rest well and sleep early :D
This evening, i happened to walk past the workshop when I saw a taxi driver talking in a very nasty tone with one of my foreman. I decided to intervene and see what I could help. Using the same approach, I managed to simmer down the driver and made him leave our workshop willingly. Unfortunately, he came back knocking on my door 10 minutes later when i was abt to pack up and leave. His taxi gave him a new problem and i had to get my foreman to rectify the problem.
While waiting for the repairs, he started to 'lor soh' to me. Unlike yday, I really wish to rush off. I kept telling him to refer to my foreman since thats his official job, but he continued to lor soh to me. As a result, I made use of a good chance when he was talking to other ppl and slipped off. When i was on my way home, I felt bad esp thinking that the driver will came back to look for me in vain. Aiz, still think i am not committed and pro enough for my job. BUt if i were to tell my manager, he would say: leave all these jobs to the foreman.. u r not supposed to do it! But i jus enjoy helping and attending to ppl, prob not when i wanna rush off.
On the brighter side, the taxi driver which i dealt with yday called me today to thank me again. He even asked me if i have taken my lunch. Wow, although this may sound superifical, but it kinda gives me some job satisfaction :D Still, i am pretty much dampened by the driver which i have pang seh today, hopefully i will get immuned and used to such situations soon.
Today, i finally made the decision not to puruse the matter regarding my technicians fighting. I knew the chinese guy wasnt too happy with my decision for he felt that the malay guy was in the wrong. In the end, i went up to him personally again and had a good chat with him. Initially, he saw me taking a piece of white paper and thought it was a warning letter for him. But upon realising its not, he broke into a great smile.
Shortly later, my foreman later told me i was too soft in dealing with these ppl. But what to do? Firstly i think i am too new and inexperienced in the company to exercise any rights, and secondly, I dun really believe in resorting harsh treatments, unless really necc.
Gradually, i feel i am getting more interested and happy with my job. And to Jane & Edward, i acatually sux in dealing with ppl. I may be a good fren, a good senior, but ask my friends in NUSBS, they can tell u Gordon is someone not easy to work with, haha.
akaaaa... rest well and sleep early :D
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
Anger is not the Problem, the Reaction is
I heard from the radio that a RSAF pilot was killed in an aircrash during overseas night training. The name of the pilot reported in chinese was Lu X X, and it did struck a bell. However, I couldnt connect to the name immediately.
Not long ago, a friend sent me a friendster page of this guy by the name "Brandon". I recognised him easily as my Sispec platoon mate and i saw a few lovely photos of brandon with his gf. However before I could find out more, my friend told me Brandon was the pilot who got killed. I was shocked... its as if I have just found a long lost friend and the fact is, he is found dead. I was nv close to Brandon, but i really very sorry for his gf and family.
Today was a chaotic day at my work place. Besides having to handle some very nasty cases, I have to handle a fight case between 2 of my technicians. I called them to my office one by one to interview them, but couldnt find anything conclusive. In the end, I have to get both of them to sit down together, but still, they gave diff versions of the story in front of each other! The fact that their direct superiors were around to help them defend did not help. I have no choice but to called in a third party as the witness, but he was too timid and afraid of offending either party. I guess i am really lousy and sux in investigation, but i tried my best to settle the disputes in a soft approach. Both of them did shook hands after the mediation, but i knew they jus did it out of pretence.
What pressured me more was that my manager asked me to give them disciplanary actions. Its really something which I dun wish to do. I only hope to remove the anger in them and make their days feel lighter. I really din wanna add more weights to their already very hectic work schedule. However discipline is something which i cant compromise. It reminded me of my army days, but prob without any Dharma knowledge then, i was more 'ruthless' and harsh. Nevertheless, i will still try my best to persuade my manager to let the matter off.
You must be wondered why i put so many pictures of Tree on the right column. If u r sharp enough, i am only putting pictures of him revealing his pearly whites. He always refuse to flash his pearly whites for my camera and so these pics are kinda 'hard to get'. Morever, I find the right column rather 'empty' except for the top which one can find the various links.
Most importantly, i wanna stress the importance and usefulness of SMILING! This afternoon, before i could handle the fight case between my technicians, a angry taxi driver went around the workshop to complain abt the poor attitude and service of our company. I was subsequently tasked to handle him from the top as my manager wasnt around. I invited him to my office and we had a long 1.5 hrs chat. Throughout the chat, I listened to his complaints, his bad experiences with my ppl, his bad experiences with his passengers, and the pride he has to swallow as a businessman-turned-taxi-driver. All the while i jus nod and nod and nod my head in 'agreement' of wat he said, although i disagreed 70% of the stuffs he said, haah.
In the end, this taxi driver said to me : "I was very angry just now you know? but after i keep seeing you smiling at me, i also dun feel like scolding already. Its a small matter la, i wun go and complain u all la..."
Haha, it takes minimum effort for me to smile, but it solves a big problem for me today. So all my dear friends out there, please smile more, to make the people around you feel happier as well :D
Oh yes, today received a good morning well wishing SMS from Mr Barry, quite an unexpected msg from him. Such personal (not forwarded ones) SMSes really make my day :D !
Not long ago, a friend sent me a friendster page of this guy by the name "Brandon". I recognised him easily as my Sispec platoon mate and i saw a few lovely photos of brandon with his gf. However before I could find out more, my friend told me Brandon was the pilot who got killed. I was shocked... its as if I have just found a long lost friend and the fact is, he is found dead. I was nv close to Brandon, but i really very sorry for his gf and family.
Today was a chaotic day at my work place. Besides having to handle some very nasty cases, I have to handle a fight case between 2 of my technicians. I called them to my office one by one to interview them, but couldnt find anything conclusive. In the end, I have to get both of them to sit down together, but still, they gave diff versions of the story in front of each other! The fact that their direct superiors were around to help them defend did not help. I have no choice but to called in a third party as the witness, but he was too timid and afraid of offending either party. I guess i am really lousy and sux in investigation, but i tried my best to settle the disputes in a soft approach. Both of them did shook hands after the mediation, but i knew they jus did it out of pretence.
What pressured me more was that my manager asked me to give them disciplanary actions. Its really something which I dun wish to do. I only hope to remove the anger in them and make their days feel lighter. I really din wanna add more weights to their already very hectic work schedule. However discipline is something which i cant compromise. It reminded me of my army days, but prob without any Dharma knowledge then, i was more 'ruthless' and harsh. Nevertheless, i will still try my best to persuade my manager to let the matter off.
You must be wondered why i put so many pictures of Tree on the right column. If u r sharp enough, i am only putting pictures of him revealing his pearly whites. He always refuse to flash his pearly whites for my camera and so these pics are kinda 'hard to get'. Morever, I find the right column rather 'empty' except for the top which one can find the various links.
Most importantly, i wanna stress the importance and usefulness of SMILING! This afternoon, before i could handle the fight case between my technicians, a angry taxi driver went around the workshop to complain abt the poor attitude and service of our company. I was subsequently tasked to handle him from the top as my manager wasnt around. I invited him to my office and we had a long 1.5 hrs chat. Throughout the chat, I listened to his complaints, his bad experiences with my ppl, his bad experiences with his passengers, and the pride he has to swallow as a businessman-turned-taxi-driver. All the while i jus nod and nod and nod my head in 'agreement' of wat he said, although i disagreed 70% of the stuffs he said, haah.
In the end, this taxi driver said to me : "I was very angry just now you know? but after i keep seeing you smiling at me, i also dun feel like scolding already. Its a small matter la, i wun go and complain u all la..."
Haha, it takes minimum effort for me to smile, but it solves a big problem for me today. So all my dear friends out there, please smile more, to make the people around you feel happier as well :D
Oh yes, today received a good morning well wishing SMS from Mr Barry, quite an unexpected msg from him. Such personal (not forwarded ones) SMSes really make my day :D !
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
Thank You Bhante
This evening, similar to what Ambrose mentioned in his blog, I did something which I always wanted to do but have nv done it. I brought my parents to the Buddhist Library for meditation.
Since 2 yrs ago, I have the urge to ask Sayalay how I can gradually introduce buddhism to my parents. We have spent so much time to propagate the Dharma in the campus, organising camps, welcoming juniors/freshies, leading Dharma circles, running MCs, but what have we actually done to help our own family in Dharma learnings?
This morning, my dad told me he wanted to try meditation. Straight away, i thought of the weekly tuesday meditation sitting at BL. We decided to go there.
We were greeted by Bhante personally, as I explained to him that my parents are totally new to buddhism and meditation. He was happy to see us and decided to teach meditation specially this evening. He started off with a 20 minutes Dharma talk on meditation, followed by teaching the Metta Meditation. He subsequently led us in Metta Meditation for about 20 minutes.
After metta meditation, he proceeded to teach us on mindfulness meditation. I guess becos he knew my parents are newbies to meditation, and so he struck the bell exactly after 30 minutes of zazen. I am grateful to Bhante for specially catering this session for my parents. I hope the other participants did not mind as the sitting today was specially cut short and 'interrupted' as a result of his teachings.
I am not sure if my parents can understand what Bhante said, but ideally speaking, there shld be no langugage barrier to the Dharma, haha. They later told me that they could briefly and roughly tell what Bhante was saying. My dad feedbacked that he was able to concentrate well on counting of his breaths while my mum said she experienced the feeling of 'floating' and 'emptiness' during the meditation. I was like "WOW, is that possible???". I guess its too early to tell anything conclusive on their first sitting. However, both of them enjoyed their sittings this evening and are looking forward to the next session :D
Oh to fans of Ajahn Brahm, Bhante told us that Ajahn will be coming down to Buddhist Library next Sunday afternoon to give a Dharma talk. I hope the 2 storey building can take it... tat time when Sayalay came to BL, it was like............
Since 2 yrs ago, I have the urge to ask Sayalay how I can gradually introduce buddhism to my parents. We have spent so much time to propagate the Dharma in the campus, organising camps, welcoming juniors/freshies, leading Dharma circles, running MCs, but what have we actually done to help our own family in Dharma learnings?
This morning, my dad told me he wanted to try meditation. Straight away, i thought of the weekly tuesday meditation sitting at BL. We decided to go there.
We were greeted by Bhante personally, as I explained to him that my parents are totally new to buddhism and meditation. He was happy to see us and decided to teach meditation specially this evening. He started off with a 20 minutes Dharma talk on meditation, followed by teaching the Metta Meditation. He subsequently led us in Metta Meditation for about 20 minutes.
After metta meditation, he proceeded to teach us on mindfulness meditation. I guess becos he knew my parents are newbies to meditation, and so he struck the bell exactly after 30 minutes of zazen. I am grateful to Bhante for specially catering this session for my parents. I hope the other participants did not mind as the sitting today was specially cut short and 'interrupted' as a result of his teachings.
I am not sure if my parents can understand what Bhante said, but ideally speaking, there shld be no langugage barrier to the Dharma, haha. They later told me that they could briefly and roughly tell what Bhante was saying. My dad feedbacked that he was able to concentrate well on counting of his breaths while my mum said she experienced the feeling of 'floating' and 'emptiness' during the meditation. I was like "WOW, is that possible???". I guess its too early to tell anything conclusive on their first sitting. However, both of them enjoyed their sittings this evening and are looking forward to the next session :D
Oh to fans of Ajahn Brahm, Bhante told us that Ajahn will be coming down to Buddhist Library next Sunday afternoon to give a Dharma talk. I hope the 2 storey building can take it... tat time when Sayalay came to BL, it was like............
Good Morning
Good Morning!
Now I understand why I always feel so fresh during retreats. Thats because I sleep early and wake up early everyday. For the past week, I have been sleeping at around 1130 to 12 midnight, and I woke up the next morning feeling my head heavy and goggy. Last nite, I slept at 1030pm, and woke up at 6am this morning. The morning is super refreshing, even till now, i find myself feeling very light and fresh.
In the past when i was a student, I cant help but have to sleep late. But now i do have a choice, I have decided to adopt good sleeping habits. In fact every morning after I enter my office, I will do my morning puja. It has kinda become a routine for me, and I feel great. But still no match for bean who has done it almost daily for the past decade yeh?
I suddenly recall what vincent has done for himself before leaving for SEP. For several months, he did the 88 buddha prostrations and chantings everyday. He din tell me himself but i get to learn it from Darren. Upon interviewing him, I was taught that such daily practices help to gradually strengthen us not just physically but spiritually. Its also a test on our determination and faith, that we can keep up with the practice regularly (as in daily).
Shame to say, my most routined practice is none other than my weekly meditation sitting at CMC, and its only an hr. All those small sittings i did myself at home on the weekdays are not counted. I was told my behaviour and attitude of learning the Dharma works like a rubber band, and there is no use repeatedly stretching and letting go of myself (ie. repeatedly getting myself inspired for a short while and then start to lose motivation again). Occasionally flipping some Dharma books, sitting irregularly and attending Dharma talks (for fellowships or momentarily inspirations?) are not going to help me much in the long run.
Perhaps its an inevitable passing phase, or I have wasted much time lingering around making myself feel 'dharmic' but am actually just an empty shell... To keep myself abreast with the Dharma, I have do something. A routine practice has to be drawn, planned and done. I really hope I am disciplined enough to do so.
Got a pleasant email from Goh Yeeling, recalling bits and pieces of the past. The tips given to the meditation participants:
In order to benefit from the nature of such retreat, participants are advised to put aside their family, work or other commitments during the retreat (No outside contact). That would mean making necessary
arrangements in advance prior to retreat. (If you are working, do apply for leave in advance.)
Please prepare yourself, physically and mentally. Take this as a precious opportunity to engage in pure mindful living and concentration practice.
Now I understand why I always feel so fresh during retreats. Thats because I sleep early and wake up early everyday. For the past week, I have been sleeping at around 1130 to 12 midnight, and I woke up the next morning feeling my head heavy and goggy. Last nite, I slept at 1030pm, and woke up at 6am this morning. The morning is super refreshing, even till now, i find myself feeling very light and fresh.
In the past when i was a student, I cant help but have to sleep late. But now i do have a choice, I have decided to adopt good sleeping habits. In fact every morning after I enter my office, I will do my morning puja. It has kinda become a routine for me, and I feel great. But still no match for bean who has done it almost daily for the past decade yeh?
I suddenly recall what vincent has done for himself before leaving for SEP. For several months, he did the 88 buddha prostrations and chantings everyday. He din tell me himself but i get to learn it from Darren. Upon interviewing him, I was taught that such daily practices help to gradually strengthen us not just physically but spiritually. Its also a test on our determination and faith, that we can keep up with the practice regularly (as in daily).
Shame to say, my most routined practice is none other than my weekly meditation sitting at CMC, and its only an hr. All those small sittings i did myself at home on the weekdays are not counted. I was told my behaviour and attitude of learning the Dharma works like a rubber band, and there is no use repeatedly stretching and letting go of myself (ie. repeatedly getting myself inspired for a short while and then start to lose motivation again). Occasionally flipping some Dharma books, sitting irregularly and attending Dharma talks (for fellowships or momentarily inspirations?) are not going to help me much in the long run.
Perhaps its an inevitable passing phase, or I have wasted much time lingering around making myself feel 'dharmic' but am actually just an empty shell... To keep myself abreast with the Dharma, I have do something. A routine practice has to be drawn, planned and done. I really hope I am disciplined enough to do so.
Got a pleasant email from Goh Yeeling, recalling bits and pieces of the past. The tips given to the meditation participants:
In order to benefit from the nature of such retreat, participants are advised to put aside their family, work or other commitments during the retreat (No outside contact). That would mean making necessary
arrangements in advance prior to retreat. (If you are working, do apply for leave in advance.)
Please prepare yourself, physically and mentally. Take this as a precious opportunity to engage in pure mindful living and concentration practice.
Monday, May 24, 2004
Efficiently Inefficient
Monday blues is something i have been experiencing lately. Today was no exception as I made my way to the workplace with a heavy heart.
Today it seemed as if the sky was raining with arrows, aiming at me mercilessly. I was given tasks and more tasks to do today. I have no idea when the deadlines for these tasks are but I purposely din ask. I fear that my present supvr would talk like my army S1. Whenever we ask him : sir, when do u want us to get this thing done, he would reply: Yesterday!
While trying to complete the tasks one by one, I was on one hand telling myself to complete the tasks fast so that I can move on with learning new things. On the other hand, i told myself to slow down, because there is no point rushing, you are just working manz. Nevertheless, I completed all the tasks given to me within today. I am not sure if i am expected to finish them that soon.. but i intend to release my work bit by bit to my boss.
Perhaps i am indeed very efficient such that I managed to get so many things done within one day. However, I may be inefficient in a way that I do not how to plan and spread out my time well, or I am just giving sub-standard rush work.
Still, I must say working is tiring. But $$$ has so far become the best incentive and motivation. Everyday i work, i am paid $100+ yeah...
Thanks to all friends who have asked me and showed concern one way or another about my family problem. No thanks to those who only bother to read but yet pretended you never read and duno wat happened.
Some of you may have found me still as cheerful and nonsensical over the weekends, but the actual fact is that the situation at home has gotten worse over the last weekend. I am not pretending to be happy, i try to be happy, cos life moves on :)
Today it seemed as if the sky was raining with arrows, aiming at me mercilessly. I was given tasks and more tasks to do today. I have no idea when the deadlines for these tasks are but I purposely din ask. I fear that my present supvr would talk like my army S1. Whenever we ask him : sir, when do u want us to get this thing done, he would reply: Yesterday!
While trying to complete the tasks one by one, I was on one hand telling myself to complete the tasks fast so that I can move on with learning new things. On the other hand, i told myself to slow down, because there is no point rushing, you are just working manz. Nevertheless, I completed all the tasks given to me within today. I am not sure if i am expected to finish them that soon.. but i intend to release my work bit by bit to my boss.
Perhaps i am indeed very efficient such that I managed to get so many things done within one day. However, I may be inefficient in a way that I do not how to plan and spread out my time well, or I am just giving sub-standard rush work.
Still, I must say working is tiring. But $$$ has so far become the best incentive and motivation. Everyday i work, i am paid $100+ yeah...
Thanks to all friends who have asked me and showed concern one way or another about my family problem. No thanks to those who only bother to read but yet pretended you never read and duno wat happened.
Some of you may have found me still as cheerful and nonsensical over the weekends, but the actual fact is that the situation at home has gotten worse over the last weekend. I am not pretending to be happy, i try to be happy, cos life moves on :)
Sunday, May 23, 2004
Tri by the Tree (Bodhi Walk)
Taking a pic with sumanTri by the Tree?
Wondering why was tree pulling his ears, some monkey business?
This morning, I made my way to the Bodhi Walk and met the NTUBS ppl at the city hall station control. I decided to join them in flashing the posters while waiting for Francis. Teddy was practically sticking the poster on his body, ahha.
The Bodhi Walk was enjoyable, esp spending time to talk cok with the BS juniors and some NTU friends. Ajhan Brahm did the Bodhi walk too, together with Bhante side by side. I really respect Bhante for his heart and effort put in for Singapore Buddhist Library. I have heard he made much more contributions in bringing in the English Theravadan Buddhism in Singapore. Perhaps without him and his effort, we wouldnt get the chance to learn the Dharma comfortably in english and benefitted much from it.
This morning, a 92 yr old man went missing after the Bodhi Walk. David, me, sumantri, gillian, francis, yuhan and a few others were frantically looking for him after being 'activated' to do so. We split up to search for him, and i actually went inside the Esplanade shopping to look for him. The guard found me suspicious and I asked him help me keep a look out. After which, I saw an old man wearing the BL t shirt with a golden pendant hanging in front of him when i went futher down the route to search.
Me : Uncle, u got lost ah?
He : Eh.....
Me : Oh, i was told to come and look for you
He : No... i am also looking for the missing old man...
Walaos, i was embarrassed momentarily. We later learnt that the old man may have gone home by himself, but we werent sure. Nobody could confirm and nobody bothered to find out later. But I salute Francis for his boldness to go round asking the old man " Uncle issit u who got lost, uncle issit u?" haha...
Well, all the respective TIs went on separate ways for their lunch. When NUSBS, i saw NTUBS still busy taking photographs. I decided not to join NUSBS for lunch, but not becos i Pai Chi them as wat OWY said. Firstly, I dun have the spending power to eat on snacks like You Tiao Do Hua, I have to spend carefully on the right meals. Secondly, I no longer have that strong sense of belonging to the society anymore.
Throughout the past 4 yrs, we have had several such typical buddhist events. In the earlier days, the most commonly seen faces that constitute to 'NUSBS' were that of Jinyang, Rf, Kim, Lorraine, Yaoyang, later followed by Yeeling, OCC, Suk, Hadi, David, Chin Koon, Sihui etc. In the later yrs, NUSBS were mainly made up of faces from Fengying, Nale, Eunice, Lynnette etc. And now we have the faces you can find in the above pic. I believe 2 yrs later, i may jus meet a bunch of youngsters on the streets, bearing the "NUSBS" title on their t shirt but all will be strangers and unfamiliar faces to me. What used to be under the charge of my frens and myself, will soon be under the hands of ppl we no longer know. Thats life, passing of the baton, impermanence.
After working for 2 weeks, i found myself really making good use of my weekends. Weekends used to be spent on lazying around in front of my PC or on my bed at home, but now my weekends are fully utilized. Yday was the most packed day for me, from morning 7 plus till 10 plus at nite. I will be meeting another fren for supper later, becos we wanna maximise our weekends catching up with each other :D
Smalltree, hope the you tiao doesn give u any 'impact' ah....
Saturday, May 22, 2004
Bad mooD
Its just like 3-4 yrs ago when i first started to learn meditation. I often feel very frustrated and easily agitated after every meditation session. However, the problem ceased after more practice, but it came back again since last week. I am now feeling pretty frustrated.
Tmr is the Buddhist Library Bodhi Walk. I was told that they only hit 20% of their target. Hopefully the number will increase over these few days, but i guess it shld be still far from the target.
Since yr1 joining NUSBS, we hve been using BL for many activities, be it Dharma talks, meditation sessions, MC meetings and other projects discussions. Using its premises, air-con and other amenities.. tats why i decided to give BL my support with a meagre registration fee of $5.
*To all those ppl who have volunteered and offered 'free' participation, pls at least offer some dana or pay the minimum amt of money for the t-shirt & stuffs u have gotten from BL, although they r sponsored* Haha.
Oh yes, to those very few who have heard me talking abt the negative aspects of the Buddha Relic Exhibition & Ajahn Brahm's talk, pls pardon me for my frankness. I feel such events are targetted and meant for the general public, those who duno or know v little abt buddhism, and shldnt raise much motivations or inspirations for the practising buddhists. However, its too great a bad karma to bear talking abt negative things related to the Dharma. So am i saying this to protect myself or really trying to develop a bodhi mind? Mabbe both...
Anyway one by one my peers have found themselves a job at some big firms like AFPD and Chartered, Congrats! I heard they r paid reasonably well too. To those who havent found one, jiayou, u jus need to apply agressively.
And SADHU SADHU SADHU to smallbro ONG for spending his hols so meaningfully. After attending the 10day malaysia tertiary buddhist camp, he is back in singapore spending almost the entire week helping out at PKS, getting to know more new buddhist frens from the external organisations. This is something which i havent experienced myself also, so i am very happy for u. Keep up the good work!
Smallbro tree.... get well fast so that u can soon start glowing with the Dharma like the rest. Sleeping cut off timing shld be at 1am for u....
TEDDY! You like to call Mozarella didi huh? Mabbe i shld start giving u a nick too, ahah. Anyway, u look very cute and cheerful in yellow today, too bad i din take ur photo jus now! KeanYap, thanks for leaving me a comment/msg on my blog, really appreciate it.
Tmr is the Buddhist Library Bodhi Walk. I was told that they only hit 20% of their target. Hopefully the number will increase over these few days, but i guess it shld be still far from the target.
Since yr1 joining NUSBS, we hve been using BL for many activities, be it Dharma talks, meditation sessions, MC meetings and other projects discussions. Using its premises, air-con and other amenities.. tats why i decided to give BL my support with a meagre registration fee of $5.
*To all those ppl who have volunteered and offered 'free' participation, pls at least offer some dana or pay the minimum amt of money for the t-shirt & stuffs u have gotten from BL, although they r sponsored* Haha.
Oh yes, to those very few who have heard me talking abt the negative aspects of the Buddha Relic Exhibition & Ajahn Brahm's talk, pls pardon me for my frankness. I feel such events are targetted and meant for the general public, those who duno or know v little abt buddhism, and shldnt raise much motivations or inspirations for the practising buddhists. However, its too great a bad karma to bear talking abt negative things related to the Dharma. So am i saying this to protect myself or really trying to develop a bodhi mind? Mabbe both...
Anyway one by one my peers have found themselves a job at some big firms like AFPD and Chartered, Congrats! I heard they r paid reasonably well too. To those who havent found one, jiayou, u jus need to apply agressively.
And SADHU SADHU SADHU to smallbro ONG for spending his hols so meaningfully. After attending the 10day malaysia tertiary buddhist camp, he is back in singapore spending almost the entire week helping out at PKS, getting to know more new buddhist frens from the external organisations. This is something which i havent experienced myself also, so i am very happy for u. Keep up the good work!
Smallbro tree.... get well fast so that u can soon start glowing with the Dharma like the rest. Sleeping cut off timing shld be at 1am for u....
TEDDY! You like to call Mozarella didi huh? Mabbe i shld start giving u a nick too, ahah. Anyway, u look very cute and cheerful in yellow today, too bad i din take ur photo jus now! KeanYap, thanks for leaving me a comment/msg on my blog, really appreciate it.
My Personal Studying Experiences
I have proudly told some of my jnrs that I ended my NUS Yr 4 semesters with all Ace except 1 B+ for all my modules. My true intention is really not trying to show off (there r a handful of others with straight Ace). But as promised to a few interested jnrs like chunkit, I am trying my best to analyse and share my experiences in overcoming the education system in NUS.
There is no doubt that most students in NUS are hardworking. Sad to say, hard work does not always pay. In fact, it din pay well for most ppl in NUS. I din do well in yr1 to 3 although i thot i was hardworking enough. But tats becos i have adopted the wrong studying style tat doesn suit the NUS system.
I used to study by myself in NUS yr1, adopting the studying style i used in O and A levels. I did okie for my yr1. In yr2 and 3, i studied with a very large grp of friends but without a standard 'formula'. We ended up talking and crapping a lot, and some of them did very well, some did very poor and i was quite average. But for all the 3 yrs, i have nv done my tutorials and did not follow closely to my lectures at all. I attended 100% of my lectures but day-dream most of the time.
It was in yr4 sem1, after attending 2 short retreats, that i came back to sch with a pretty focussed mind. I remembered for the first 3 weeks of my lectures, I could absorb and understand 90% of the things taught. However, as more projs and CAs came, my concentration dropped gradually and i began to have a hard time 'chasing' my lectures. Still, i ensured that i cleared all my prev lec notes before i attended the next set of lectures.
Throughout the sem, i would spend a lot of time in the lib reading, studying and understanding the lecture notes ALONE in the library. 2 weeks before exam time, I will begin studying with a small grp of frens, around 3 to 4 of us, to discuss and share wat we know and wat we duno. I learnt this from my law tutor tat studying can be broken up into the 4 scenarios:
1) You know what you know
2) You know what you duno
3) You duno what you know
4) you duno what you duno
The 1st case is of cos excellent. 2nd case not too bad, as least we know what are the areas we duno and we can go find out from friends (studying in grp). 3rd case is not too bad either becos afterall we still know the stuffs. 4th case often happen to most of us, we duno wat we r supposed to know, and ended up being killed in the exams. Dun u often experience that u thought u have already understood and grapse certain concepts fully, but its only after attempting the exams/quiz u found out that ur concepts are not clear! Thats why studying in grp helps a LOT in overcoming the 4th case!
I know this method may not apply to all, but i always see myself as person of only average intelligence. If i can study by myself alone, i wudnt need to go to sch to attend lects, tuts... cos all i need is to buy the notes, watch webcast, try past yr qns and go to take the exams, hoping to score As. Perhaps some simpler modules we can do that but as we advance into higher levels, deeper understandings is needed and we cant afford NOT to share and exchange our knowledge + understandings of concepts. Must study smartly.
Its jus like the analogy of a candle. Using ur own energy and determination, there s only a limit in which u can bright up a room. But if u were to share ur flame with the candles around u, together the whole room can be much brightly lit.
I used to wonder how come a few of my frens can consistently score so many A and A+ throughout their first 3yrs in NUS. Edward u shld know who they are. No matter how much effort i put in, i was always nowhere near them. Finally, i got a share of their secret formula.
SO jnrs, try it out for one sem!
There is no doubt that most students in NUS are hardworking. Sad to say, hard work does not always pay. In fact, it din pay well for most ppl in NUS. I din do well in yr1 to 3 although i thot i was hardworking enough. But tats becos i have adopted the wrong studying style tat doesn suit the NUS system.
I used to study by myself in NUS yr1, adopting the studying style i used in O and A levels. I did okie for my yr1. In yr2 and 3, i studied with a very large grp of friends but without a standard 'formula'. We ended up talking and crapping a lot, and some of them did very well, some did very poor and i was quite average. But for all the 3 yrs, i have nv done my tutorials and did not follow closely to my lectures at all. I attended 100% of my lectures but day-dream most of the time.
It was in yr4 sem1, after attending 2 short retreats, that i came back to sch with a pretty focussed mind. I remembered for the first 3 weeks of my lectures, I could absorb and understand 90% of the things taught. However, as more projs and CAs came, my concentration dropped gradually and i began to have a hard time 'chasing' my lectures. Still, i ensured that i cleared all my prev lec notes before i attended the next set of lectures.
Throughout the sem, i would spend a lot of time in the lib reading, studying and understanding the lecture notes ALONE in the library. 2 weeks before exam time, I will begin studying with a small grp of frens, around 3 to 4 of us, to discuss and share wat we know and wat we duno. I learnt this from my law tutor tat studying can be broken up into the 4 scenarios:
1) You know what you know
2) You know what you duno
3) You duno what you know
4) you duno what you duno
The 1st case is of cos excellent. 2nd case not too bad, as least we know what are the areas we duno and we can go find out from friends (studying in grp). 3rd case is not too bad either becos afterall we still know the stuffs. 4th case often happen to most of us, we duno wat we r supposed to know, and ended up being killed in the exams. Dun u often experience that u thought u have already understood and grapse certain concepts fully, but its only after attempting the exams/quiz u found out that ur concepts are not clear! Thats why studying in grp helps a LOT in overcoming the 4th case!
I know this method may not apply to all, but i always see myself as person of only average intelligence. If i can study by myself alone, i wudnt need to go to sch to attend lects, tuts... cos all i need is to buy the notes, watch webcast, try past yr qns and go to take the exams, hoping to score As. Perhaps some simpler modules we can do that but as we advance into higher levels, deeper understandings is needed and we cant afford NOT to share and exchange our knowledge + understandings of concepts. Must study smartly.
Its jus like the analogy of a candle. Using ur own energy and determination, there s only a limit in which u can bright up a room. But if u were to share ur flame with the candles around u, together the whole room can be much brightly lit.
I used to wonder how come a few of my frens can consistently score so many A and A+ throughout their first 3yrs in NUS. Edward u shld know who they are. No matter how much effort i put in, i was always nowhere near them. Finally, i got a share of their secret formula.
SO jnrs, try it out for one sem!
Friday, May 21, 2004
More to learn
As kinsong has mentioned earlier: If u duno politics, u will not be in politics. But i am already in politics.
To provide you with a better understanding and view of my company, my company building is actually made up of 6 storeys. The front portion of the company is the receptionist and service counters, comprises 15 counter staffs. On the right it is a canteen. On the left is the Private Car service centre, with abt 6-7 staffs. On the 2nd floor, is where all the big shot offices are found. The CEO, AGM, several managers (duno need so many for wat) and their Personal Assistants each. There is also this HR department which comprises at least 20 executives + admin supervisors + admin assistants. On the 3rd floor is the IT department, around another 20 IT personnel, 4th floor is the Finance dept and a training sch for NTC1 and NTC2 course. 5th floor is the Accident repair claim dept. Altogether shld be around 150 ppl working in this part of the building.
Behind the main building is the workshop which comprises 3 storeys. First floor comprises the Taxi Fleet maintenance team,with 150 technicians. 2nd floor is the accident repair and engine overhaul teams, with abt another 150 technicians. On the 3rd floor is the exhaust flushing team with not more than 10 workers. In the middle of the workshop is the Logistic department which houses about 10 admin staffs and 20 storemen. There shld be around 300+ people working in this portion of the building.
This morning, i went to attend a Singapore Quality Award seminar which my company has taken part. Its boring and lots of wayangings. I came back in the aftn, found my superiors away, and decided to venture into the HR department to foster better working relationships with the ppl. I found this very kind looking lady (call her Mdm G), in her late 50s. I decided to strike up a conversation with her.
I ended up talking more than 1 hr with Mdm G. At first, we started off introducing ourselves, and slowly, she began to 'introduce' more on the other ppl in the company, diggubg up some history and stories as a result. However, she stressed that she is not trying to gossip, and asked me to stop her if i found her to be so. She said she is just trying to warn me on the company's politics since i am new, and ask me to be beware of certain ppl in the admin sector. Very easily, I compiled a list in my mind who are the personnel i can approach for help and who are the touch-me-nots.
Mdm G was a senior administrator in her old company before it merges with the present one. Hence, she was posted here and given very little work to do. It may seem good in the surface but the true reason behind it is becos the ppl here are UNWILLING to teach and share their knowledge. They are afraid to be replaced or superseded.. sighz..wat an ugly world. Nevertheless, I am thankful to Mdm G for her tips.
Next, I move on to another senior officer Mr H. Mr H came to my office to chat as its more private there. I was showing him the company's nominal roll and one by one, he described and 'introduced' those interesting personnel to me. Well, guys are guys, our topics eventually move on to talking abt who are the few can-make-it gals in the company haha. True enough, wat Mr H told me seemed to tally pretty much with Mdm G.
Well, my direct boss would nv share with me on the company politics and i could only learn from him on the 'Operations' matters. But i strongly believe there is a need to know both the bright and dark sides of the company if i want to learn and get myself rooted fast. Mdm G later shared with me more tips on how i shld carry myself around at the work place, which my own direct boss din teach me either.
And i must really thank Mdm G for her advice when one of my foreman suddenly brought me a technician to seek approval of applying compassionate leave as his grandma has passed away. However, he could not confirm the number of days he will back to malaysia for the funeral as the number of days is not fixed yet! Mdm G advised me that I shld only allow him to take a max 4 days of compassionate leave, and the rest he has to consume his own Annual Leave. I am too new to know all these... thank goodness for her guidiance.
Well, there is really much more to learn. Mdm G lastly added that this will be a very good exposure for me as a first job as i will not be only working with Admin ppl (white collar), but also technicians (blue collar), engineers and taxi-drivers.
After i have settled down further, I guess i wud be taking up a part time diploma course on Human Resource Management by SNEF. Anyway, my company will be sponsoring us with all these courses, but of cos with a PRICE TO PAY ie. To apply wat i learn and contribute back (with significant performance) to the company. My own superior has advised me against it as he was arrowed to do a lot more stuffs after attending some courses in the past 5 yrs, haha.
To provide you with a better understanding and view of my company, my company building is actually made up of 6 storeys. The front portion of the company is the receptionist and service counters, comprises 15 counter staffs. On the right it is a canteen. On the left is the Private Car service centre, with abt 6-7 staffs. On the 2nd floor, is where all the big shot offices are found. The CEO, AGM, several managers (duno need so many for wat) and their Personal Assistants each. There is also this HR department which comprises at least 20 executives + admin supervisors + admin assistants. On the 3rd floor is the IT department, around another 20 IT personnel, 4th floor is the Finance dept and a training sch for NTC1 and NTC2 course. 5th floor is the Accident repair claim dept. Altogether shld be around 150 ppl working in this part of the building.
Behind the main building is the workshop which comprises 3 storeys. First floor comprises the Taxi Fleet maintenance team,with 150 technicians. 2nd floor is the accident repair and engine overhaul teams, with abt another 150 technicians. On the 3rd floor is the exhaust flushing team with not more than 10 workers. In the middle of the workshop is the Logistic department which houses about 10 admin staffs and 20 storemen. There shld be around 300+ people working in this portion of the building.
This morning, i went to attend a Singapore Quality Award seminar which my company has taken part. Its boring and lots of wayangings. I came back in the aftn, found my superiors away, and decided to venture into the HR department to foster better working relationships with the ppl. I found this very kind looking lady (call her Mdm G), in her late 50s. I decided to strike up a conversation with her.
I ended up talking more than 1 hr with Mdm G. At first, we started off introducing ourselves, and slowly, she began to 'introduce' more on the other ppl in the company, diggubg up some history and stories as a result. However, she stressed that she is not trying to gossip, and asked me to stop her if i found her to be so. She said she is just trying to warn me on the company's politics since i am new, and ask me to be beware of certain ppl in the admin sector. Very easily, I compiled a list in my mind who are the personnel i can approach for help and who are the touch-me-nots.
Mdm G was a senior administrator in her old company before it merges with the present one. Hence, she was posted here and given very little work to do. It may seem good in the surface but the true reason behind it is becos the ppl here are UNWILLING to teach and share their knowledge. They are afraid to be replaced or superseded.. sighz..wat an ugly world. Nevertheless, I am thankful to Mdm G for her tips.
Next, I move on to another senior officer Mr H. Mr H came to my office to chat as its more private there. I was showing him the company's nominal roll and one by one, he described and 'introduced' those interesting personnel to me. Well, guys are guys, our topics eventually move on to talking abt who are the few can-make-it gals in the company haha. True enough, wat Mr H told me seemed to tally pretty much with Mdm G.
Well, my direct boss would nv share with me on the company politics and i could only learn from him on the 'Operations' matters. But i strongly believe there is a need to know both the bright and dark sides of the company if i want to learn and get myself rooted fast. Mdm G later shared with me more tips on how i shld carry myself around at the work place, which my own direct boss din teach me either.
And i must really thank Mdm G for her advice when one of my foreman suddenly brought me a technician to seek approval of applying compassionate leave as his grandma has passed away. However, he could not confirm the number of days he will back to malaysia for the funeral as the number of days is not fixed yet! Mdm G advised me that I shld only allow him to take a max 4 days of compassionate leave, and the rest he has to consume his own Annual Leave. I am too new to know all these... thank goodness for her guidiance.
Well, there is really much more to learn. Mdm G lastly added that this will be a very good exposure for me as a first job as i will not be only working with Admin ppl (white collar), but also technicians (blue collar), engineers and taxi-drivers.
After i have settled down further, I guess i wud be taking up a part time diploma course on Human Resource Management by SNEF. Anyway, my company will be sponsoring us with all these courses, but of cos with a PRICE TO PAY ie. To apply wat i learn and contribute back (with significant performance) to the company. My own superior has advised me against it as he was arrowed to do a lot more stuffs after attending some courses in the past 5 yrs, haha.
Thursday, May 20, 2004
Mozarella didi
This evening, didi treated us to another round of pizza hut feast. A set meal of almost $50 meant for 4-5 person, but not a big problem for the 3 of us. Obviously i ate the most. The 2 brothers not only look alike, but also choose the same items to discuss when we visited carrefour and other shops. Too alike liao.... now didi is asking me why i nv put his pic on msn, haha...
btw, its not as 'mushy' as u think when i call sumantri didi. Its his official name back in medan, known by everyone in his family and neighbours.
Talking abt makan, yeah, smallbro Tree, pls eat more so that your tree trunk will grow thicker and stronger, and be free from illness. Recover fast yeah?
Indifference
I just got my results 2 hours ago. Unlike the previous semesters, I am not even 1% as nervous as before. Probably I know my results in this semester is not going to affect me much in my overall performance in NUS. Hence, i also do not have much expectations for my results.
I failed to perform another miracle this sem which i did for HRM and other written/essays kind of modules in the past semesters. I got a B+ for Law. As for FYP, i think there is this pretty default or standard grade that most final yr students will get.
But for the rest of my electives, i really nv expect myself to Ace them, with neither a 'minus or plus' sign. Oh.. do u believe i have never gotten a single 'A+' grade in NUS? I think its uncommon for engin students. But i shld be thankful and contented, and its too late, i find myself only starting to perform well in my final yr.
By rite n the past, I shld be very happy over the results i have for this sem, but apparently not for this time. I dun feel sad over the B+ also, jus feel very indifferent. Probably I have already stepped out of my student life, and i shld be focussing more on my career. Right in front of me are very thick files of documents tat i need to go through for some tasks plannings and implementations. All the nus stuffs, esp the NUS/OSA/NUSSU emails seem so distant and unrelated to me.
Oh congrats to all those who have either safely secured ur Honours class, and congrats x 2 to the many others who have managed to jump from 2nd lower to 2nd upper class. I can understand ur triumphant feelings. So far, all my final yr friends did very well.
To my juniors, dun give up. I used to have sleepless nights worrying over my grades too when i was in yr 1 and 2, but i find it so stupid and silly now. Its definitely not worth the drive and energy to worry over ur grades, ultimately u will understand wat i mean. Jus enjoy ur NUS campus life to the fullest, join more activities and study hard and smart :) Dun be bogged down by grades!
I failed to perform another miracle this sem which i did for HRM and other written/essays kind of modules in the past semesters. I got a B+ for Law. As for FYP, i think there is this pretty default or standard grade that most final yr students will get.
But for the rest of my electives, i really nv expect myself to Ace them, with neither a 'minus or plus' sign. Oh.. do u believe i have never gotten a single 'A+' grade in NUS? I think its uncommon for engin students. But i shld be thankful and contented, and its too late, i find myself only starting to perform well in my final yr.
By rite n the past, I shld be very happy over the results i have for this sem, but apparently not for this time. I dun feel sad over the B+ also, jus feel very indifferent. Probably I have already stepped out of my student life, and i shld be focussing more on my career. Right in front of me are very thick files of documents tat i need to go through for some tasks plannings and implementations. All the nus stuffs, esp the NUS/OSA/NUSSU emails seem so distant and unrelated to me.
Oh congrats to all those who have either safely secured ur Honours class, and congrats x 2 to the many others who have managed to jump from 2nd lower to 2nd upper class. I can understand ur triumphant feelings. So far, all my final yr friends did very well.
To my juniors, dun give up. I used to have sleepless nights worrying over my grades too when i was in yr 1 and 2, but i find it so stupid and silly now. Its definitely not worth the drive and energy to worry over ur grades, ultimately u will understand wat i mean. Jus enjoy ur NUS campus life to the fullest, join more activities and study hard and smart :) Dun be bogged down by grades!
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
Suffer Ring
Life is full of sufferings.
This evening, i got home and learnt that my dad has received another legal letter, and it sent the entire family's mood to rock bottom.
I am already very stressful at work, and it doesn help to come home facing the negative energies at home. I ended up quarrelling with my mum after i told her to stop her complaints. Its really beyond my threshold, as i am now facing pressure from work, no longer a carefree student enjoying his holidays.
I thought I have already done my best. I gave up going on hols, and applied for a job immediately after my last paper. I gave up going out to play in the evening and stayed at home for dinner. I managed to get a job faster than most of my peers, and am earning a decent pay. I duno wat else i can do really....
Just like what the workshop does everyday in changing the timing belts for taxi, i wonder when my own 'timing belt' will snap.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..............
This evening, i got home and learnt that my dad has received another legal letter, and it sent the entire family's mood to rock bottom.
I am already very stressful at work, and it doesn help to come home facing the negative energies at home. I ended up quarrelling with my mum after i told her to stop her complaints. Its really beyond my threshold, as i am now facing pressure from work, no longer a carefree student enjoying his holidays.
I thought I have already done my best. I gave up going on hols, and applied for a job immediately after my last paper. I gave up going out to play in the evening and stayed at home for dinner. I managed to get a job faster than most of my peers, and am earning a decent pay. I duno wat else i can do really....
Just like what the workshop does everyday in changing the timing belts for taxi, i wonder when my own 'timing belt' will snap.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..............
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
Seeking Advices
Got these words from some frens, esp the first one from a very wise and experienced person:
1) An engineering degree can bring us to wherever we want to go to. Spending 5 years as a process engineer doesn't give him a better prospect when he apply to be an embedded systems engineer. The field of engineering is so diverse today. But as we work longer (ie 5 years or more), if we don't go into management, tat means he is condemned. All work experience is valuable as long as we learn something from it. Not those kind of routine jobs.
2) Those are really hardcore engineering work. Essentially we need to know where we want to be 5 to 10 years down the road. Either still as an Engineer or somewhere in the management. The experience and knowledge may be useful but it is not a compulsory pre-requisite. We have to know about the company we are in now: does it gives us the opportunity to develop ourselves (upgrading) and what is the career ceiling offer to us (promotions).
3) The IA company which I worked in previously have 40 people in all. Half of which are managers which do the planning, coordination and talking. The technical people are ITE people which do checking.
1) An engineering degree can bring us to wherever we want to go to. Spending 5 years as a process engineer doesn't give him a better prospect when he apply to be an embedded systems engineer. The field of engineering is so diverse today. But as we work longer (ie 5 years or more), if we don't go into management, tat means he is condemned. All work experience is valuable as long as we learn something from it. Not those kind of routine jobs.
2) Those are really hardcore engineering work. Essentially we need to know where we want to be 5 to 10 years down the road. Either still as an Engineer or somewhere in the management. The experience and knowledge may be useful but it is not a compulsory pre-requisite. We have to know about the company we are in now: does it gives us the opportunity to develop ourselves (upgrading) and what is the career ceiling offer to us (promotions).
3) The IA company which I worked in previously have 40 people in all. Half of which are managers which do the planning, coordination and talking. The technical people are ITE people which do checking.
So weak So incapable
I think i am so weak and incapable. Yday, i was feeling very cheerful but today i feel heavy. Its not something unexpected though.
I choose this present job becos i want a job that can deal with ppl. I thot i will enjoy dealing and helping ppl, but ended up 'dealing with ppl' becomes the nightmare of my job. I have to deal with taxi-drivers. Its not the hassle that i am worried abt, but i find myself implanting too much emotions in my job. Today, i had my first experience to deal with a taxi driver who complained to me abt money matters with the workshop.
Although the conversation with him was far from getting heated, I worried a lot for myself as I tend to side the taxi drivers more than siding my company. I found myself sympathising ppl very easily, even though they may be lying to me. Am i not suitable for this job? Well, this is jus a v small part of my job scope though. But i am sure its going to be useful for my career, a long long way to go.
I learnt that my company organisation is really big, ranking 5th in the world transport industry. There is also much mobility in between the organisational groups, not jus engineering. But alas, i am not ambitious, haha, i dun have the calibre also.
I sincerely thank my friends, esp the buddhist friends + Jane for encouraging me in my new found job. All of u have given me much spiritual support.
I choose this present job becos i want a job that can deal with ppl. I thot i will enjoy dealing and helping ppl, but ended up 'dealing with ppl' becomes the nightmare of my job. I have to deal with taxi-drivers. Its not the hassle that i am worried abt, but i find myself implanting too much emotions in my job. Today, i had my first experience to deal with a taxi driver who complained to me abt money matters with the workshop.
Although the conversation with him was far from getting heated, I worried a lot for myself as I tend to side the taxi drivers more than siding my company. I found myself sympathising ppl very easily, even though they may be lying to me. Am i not suitable for this job? Well, this is jus a v small part of my job scope though. But i am sure its going to be useful for my career, a long long way to go.
I learnt that my company organisation is really big, ranking 5th in the world transport industry. There is also much mobility in between the organisational groups, not jus engineering. But alas, i am not ambitious, haha, i dun have the calibre also.
I sincerely thank my friends, esp the buddhist friends + Jane for encouraging me in my new found job. All of u have given me much spiritual support.
Monday, May 17, 2004
What's Next???
HAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!!! I am now listening to FM93.3, the Y-Y yu le zhan program. Mr Jia Zhen Jing said: Oh our local singer Lin Junjie won the taiwan best new comer award, and he thanked God for the award. Mr Jia Zhen Jing added that of cos he can thank God, but we dun need another Ho-Yeow-Sun... wahahahha.....
Yeaps, i just got back from jogging. Am feeling very light today, quite contrary to last week. Exercising helps! And I guess i am gradually adapting to my workplace. Getting more used to the people and environment. But still, there are new arrows throwing at me everyday, and i hope i can take them off graciously. But its still too early to tell...
Today, i tried to inject some Dharma elements at my work place. I purposely brought in some Dharma topics during lunch time to my foreman and manager. My manager is a typical young fellow who is not interested in religion, but his career and family. My foreman seems to know a lot on Buddhism, and he thinks our life is pretty much fated. Although it kinda contradicts the often-heard Dharma teachings, i still agree with him.
They were shocked when they learnt that i dun intend to start a family and bear children. My foreman thought if i dun 'produce' offsprings this life, i will not be born a human being next life. This is somehow similar to what Ven Yuan Fan said on homosexuality. Sad to say, they will not be reborn as human beings becos they dun produce children. But i am thinking wat abt nuns and monks then? haha..... anyway ppl out there, jus take my words as a pinch of salt :D
My colleagues also told me that although they are pro-buddhism, they find that the propagation of Dharma in the local scene is not professional enough. True, becos we lack the resources and heart to do so, compared to other religions. This sunday big walk is an unfortunate incident. Do you call it bad karma or poor plannings?
But as a buddhist, of cos i will choose to support the buddhist community, and for volunteer work, priority shld be given to buddhist organisations. One may argue that we shld not be selective when offering dana, but if we dun support these buddhist organisations first, who else can we expect to do so? And well done PKS, they have come out with this "Volunteer membership" which i thot is a pretty good idea. Having joined in as a member, i will be informed and encouraged from time to time to lend my helping hand, and it kinda remove the inertia and laziness which i foresee i will have in the future when i wanna help.
Oh well, i simply love chunkit's blog entry, the one he stated that a lot of ppl ened up spending money buying liabilities instead of assets. In other words, they thought they have gained assets but ended up incurring liabilities. But i hope we r not too blinded by greed, which is one of the 3 greatest poisons in buddhism.
Yeaps, i just got back from jogging. Am feeling very light today, quite contrary to last week. Exercising helps! And I guess i am gradually adapting to my workplace. Getting more used to the people and environment. But still, there are new arrows throwing at me everyday, and i hope i can take them off graciously. But its still too early to tell...
Today, i tried to inject some Dharma elements at my work place. I purposely brought in some Dharma topics during lunch time to my foreman and manager. My manager is a typical young fellow who is not interested in religion, but his career and family. My foreman seems to know a lot on Buddhism, and he thinks our life is pretty much fated. Although it kinda contradicts the often-heard Dharma teachings, i still agree with him.
They were shocked when they learnt that i dun intend to start a family and bear children. My foreman thought if i dun 'produce' offsprings this life, i will not be born a human being next life. This is somehow similar to what Ven Yuan Fan said on homosexuality. Sad to say, they will not be reborn as human beings becos they dun produce children. But i am thinking wat abt nuns and monks then? haha..... anyway ppl out there, jus take my words as a pinch of salt :D
My colleagues also told me that although they are pro-buddhism, they find that the propagation of Dharma in the local scene is not professional enough. True, becos we lack the resources and heart to do so, compared to other religions. This sunday big walk is an unfortunate incident. Do you call it bad karma or poor plannings?
But as a buddhist, of cos i will choose to support the buddhist community, and for volunteer work, priority shld be given to buddhist organisations. One may argue that we shld not be selective when offering dana, but if we dun support these buddhist organisations first, who else can we expect to do so? And well done PKS, they have come out with this "Volunteer membership" which i thot is a pretty good idea. Having joined in as a member, i will be informed and encouraged from time to time to lend my helping hand, and it kinda remove the inertia and laziness which i foresee i will have in the future when i wanna help.
Oh well, i simply love chunkit's blog entry, the one he stated that a lot of ppl ened up spending money buying liabilities instead of assets. In other words, they thought they have gained assets but ended up incurring liabilities. But i hope we r not too blinded by greed, which is one of the 3 greatest poisons in buddhism.
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