Meterosexual

I had a great laugh when a gal friend described me as 'Meterosexual' yesterday. Thats neither a positive nor negative gesture from me, but it made me wonder in what way am I still so 'meeeeterosexual' to her. Take a look at this pic which i took recently, and u must have disagreed with her.

I was staring hard into the mirror looking at myself, while i was having my haircut done at the barber. Yeah, having haircut at the barber is one good evidence to support against calling me a meterosexual. But tats not the pt I was trying to bring out. As i seldom look at myself in the mirror for long, the 15 min of haircutting gave me the chance to take a good look at myself - wow, i am really aging super fast. I have to admit i look v much like an uncle, no longer a youth or youngster.

I remembered when i was in yr1 staying in pgp, the nickname given to me was "Pretty Boy". Spotting a thick crop of reddish coloured hair, I definitely have more colourful and trendier clothes. And putting on my ear studs/ring was like an everyday affair. None of my neighbours could correctly guess that I was from engineering faculty. Law, Bizad and Arts were the most common choices.

Over the yrs in NUS, my dress-code has toned down tremendously to plain-coloured round neck tshirts, but my hair remained 'unblack' most of the time, even until now. Ear studs/rings are jus very occasional wear - wearing for the sake of not wasting them, hahaha. I wudnt say I was very well dressed or trendy in the past (in fact i hav nv regarded myself as a trendy person), but i see no pt in putting much efforts in dressing up, as long as one look NEAT it shld be enough = clean and non-creasy clothings + neatly trimmed (for short hair) or nicely styled/combed (long hair). I seriously cannot stand ppl with long messy uncombed hair - gross!

Of cos i argued back to my friend that I am not 'FIT' enough to be considered a meterosexual, as I do not spend a lot of money buying nice clothings ( i jus wear U2 and Bossini these days, hahaha), and I dun visit hair saloons which cost ($30-60) for a freaking hair cut (i only spend $8-9 at the barber, hahaha). Jus dun get tricked by my brown hair + occasional ear studs. And she readily counter argued back that the definition of 'meterosexual' shld not limit to only outlooks, but the character. She is right - I am generally unlike the typical guy who is perceived as rational, unfeeling and emotionless. In fact i am quite the opposite.

But as I grow older, I guess my confidence no longer comes my outlooks but from my internal strength. Its the substance that counts, yeah? So cocky man..

Where is my Adaptor?

I was searching high and low for my fujitsu adaptor in vain. I have got 2 of them (1 from jane). 1 is confirmed with kici, the other one is MIA, sighz. During my search, I managed to find some other stuffs instead (something which i wanted to find badly few weeks ago but no longer need it).

Went to roller skate jus now at ECP again. Skated leisurely from Fort Rd to Bedok Jetty and back. I felt very relaxed, cooling and healthy. Having a van is really convenient as I can throw my skates, bowling ball and extra clothings in it.

My peugeot key chain is going to spoilt soon. When I was hospitalized in NUH earlier this yr, I remembered seeing some very nice and equisitive car-logo key chains sold at the NUH gift shop. I purposely went back today to search for it but unfortunately, they r no longer available, sigh x 3. And becos of this visit, i realised tat one of the NTU IA students in my office was also hospitalized in NUH on the same day as me (which was the 3rd day of CNY). But of cos i din even know her then.

Nowadays, i seldom write abt reflections, but merely love to report my daily activities in my blog. Somehow at this pt of time, i find reading my own reflections v digusting and felt they shld be kept personal to preserve its esscence.

Aiz.. where is my adaptorrrr???

Sensitive entry

Type-R steering wheel cover

This afternoon, i continued my search for car accessories. Went to Carrefour (suntec) followed by Giant (Marina Sq). Although I couldnt find a suitable car seat cover still, I did manage to get a set of Type-R steering wheel cover + a pair of seat belt cushions, which is one of the promotional items for today. I bought it at abt 30% cheaper than the usual price, yeah! The grip for my steering wheel is much better now + the interior looks nicer with the matching blue colour.

This afternoon, I get to recall an incident which took place when i first joined NUS. A snr whom i know from engin orientation has invited me to his home for a chill out during one weekend. While i was lying on his bed, he switched on his PC and asked me to read a mail sent by his cell grp member. In the mail, this guy (someone i know also) wrote about his years of experiences in meditation. Unfortunately, he felt that he couldnt gain much from Buddhism and eventually received Christ. Since then, his life has improved tremendously and he wrote the mail to thank my friend for introducing Christianity to him. As a new buddhist who was the pretty much enthusiastic abt the Dharma, I felt offended and gave him the black face. He quickly shut down the mail upon realising my displeasure .....

Last week, I went back to NUS for a jog. When i was in the SRC bathroom, I saw a big grp of guys (abt 7-8) by the benches, getting changed and preparing for sports. I found many familiar faces in them, with abt 3-4 of them are actually from my batch, in addition to the snr whom i mentioned above (who is 3 yrs our snr). They all belong to the same cell grp, and have weekly gatherings in NUS for sports-together followed by their cell grp sessions. Wonderful. I may not be able to comment much abt their religious teachings, but at least i can see that the support they have given to one another is obviously there... and its still going strong after so many yrs of knowing one another. In comparison, the fellowship and spiritual support found in my religion is seriously lacking.

I know its unfair to compare. One is like giving u sweets, the other is giving u medicine. Obviously sweets are more appealing to medicines. Although the former could temporarily take away ur agony and pains, the latter is still eventually what we need to 'recover'.

I apologise if i have touched on sensitive issues and offended any of my friends/readers here. Its really time to ponder if all along we have been doing things for the sake of doing, or jus following blindly.

Quite surprised i could squeeze so many activities into today.

This morning i went to at least 6 car accessory shops all over singapore to look for a suitable set of car seat covers. They are either too ex but nice design, affordable but lousy design, or affordable + nice design but non-matching colour to my partner, sighz. In these giant car accessory shops, there r so many things that i am tempted to buy, but fortunately, my wallet control skill is still pretty much up to standard.

This evening, I went strolling down orchard rd before meeting my ex-colleagues for a dinner at Crown Prince Hotel. Nice to meet them. After which, I headed down to ECP to meet the EVC guys for roller skatings. The ambience at ECP during night time is splendid - dark + peaceful + cooling, accompanied by the lightings from the ships in the sea. Blading down the cycling track at fast speed gave me a very relaxing and carefree feeling.

However, my spirit was pretty much dampened after the revelation of one of my EVC friends. There is this very funky and playful lady that i get to know in EVC. She looks like she is in her late 20s but is actually already in her mid 30s. She has always been acting like a child (an overaged one) and its only tonite, i realise she is actually divorced with 2 kids (8 yr and 5 yr old). She told me she was v sad tonight as her sons are finally gonna shift out from her house tommorow, after she has put in much 'struggle'.

I am surprised that i can actually be quite affected by her predicaments. Although I duno much abt the details, i decided not to ask too, for i duno how i shld react or respond after her replies. Its something that i really have no idea how i can do my part as a friend. Somehow, i feel that the willingness and spirit in me to 'help' others have also been greatly reduced over the past yr. I duno why. Perhaps nowadays i realise i am often not fit enough to help, or i feel i have enough problems of my own that shld be taking up most of my attention instead.

1985

As the years go by, it is jus natural that i get less and less acquainted to the younger batches of juniors. However, I seem to have a greater affinity to the 1985 batch as i notice a sudden surge in my fellowship with them. In NUSBS alone, there are juniors like Sohan, Isen, Cindy, Nhan and Chun Kit. In NTUBS, I have Teddy and Kici (although he looks like he is 1990).

And at EVC, i get to know this 1985 guy who susbqly intro me to a few more of his poly mates (1985 batch) on MSN. Tat evening, I suddenly found myself 'surrounded' by so many 1985 kids. The way they chat online is interesting, although I there was a noticeable gap in our styles and mentality.

And this 1985 EVC guy is a really v fortunate guy. His mum bought him an Opel Combo Turbo van for his bday when he was 18. This evening, he got lost on his way from Queenstown to Mustafa and sms me for help. As i was pretty nearby, I drove over to guide him the way. I sat on his van and realise he has so many expensive modifications done - interior lightings, mini-speedometer, metal pedals etc. His dad has paid for all the expenses used on his van. Kinda reminded me of myself when i first gotten my license, I was already given a car to drive to sch everyday.

Being the youngest among the grp always has the advantage. Most of the EVC guys took very good care of him by helping him in the installations, giving him free tips and valuables. Aww... how i hope i can be in his place! haha.

Read more then..

I was away from work today attending a course at Grand Corpthorne Hotel. I must say all these courses which my company sent us too are mostly very professionally done - with excellent instructor and course materials. However, whether the theories learnt are easily applicable not is another thing altogether. But one thing for sure, we get to enjoy expensive + delicious hotel buffets everyday.

And i went home to check my mail box - 273 emails in all - not as much as i have expected (or feared for). After some filterings, only abt less than 10% require my immediate attention and actions. The others can either be KIV, ignored or arrowed to some other parties, kakaka.

And during the course, i received 3 SMSes from 3 different friends, asking why i was not at work today. Haha.. i guess they must have been so used in seeing me on MSN during office hours. But there seem to be a common understanding and rapport built among my friends that MSN chats during office hrs are to be kept at minimal, most of the time not done intentionally but we simply have no time to chat. But MSN is indeed a very useful and powerful tool to use for working matters. Save up the trouble of composing emails, send here send there, or speaking over the phone (esp when reading long string of part numbers and such). Put it simply, its INSTANT messenging!

Last week, my colleagues were commenting that i write v chim english in my emails and work reports. Last evening, another 2 friends on a grp msn chat were commenting that i always use very chim english. Well, do u guys find words like "tentative", "avantgarde", "oblivious" and "succint" to be very chim? During my pri sch days, i was already identified by my english teacher for my weak command in english. And this fact continued throughout my sec and jc days. In fact, i was one of the 5 or 6 students in my entire class who failed to get an A1 or A2 for my O level english. My english teacher was pissed, and

However my confidence in english kinda pick up a little after coming NUS. Tats becos most engineers are really sucky in their languages, and hence, i tend to be slightly better than them in this aspect. I also noticed many of my engineering friends struggling with essay modules like Law, HRM and history. And tats probably the only few chances that i could edge over my engineering peers to compensate for my lousier engineering module grades.

负心的人

The weather nowadays is so nice for sleeping. The bed is so inviting that I slept as early as 10 plus these few nites. But last midnight, i receive a phone call from this kici who frantically told me: laptop spoilt liao laptop spoilt liao! Walaos, my sleep was more impt than that old lappie.. so i told him nvm la. Actually, i think the fault lies with Jane's power adaptor, ahha. I think finally its time is up!

This aftn, a gal friend of mine msned me and requested for my company. The fact that i only met her once through an online forum gathering made me feel rather uneasy. Moreover, she rides a bike + smoke, in addition to wat jane said "Labrador park leh! Very dangerous! Many gals nowadays seduce guys then call police!" made even me more skeptical. However, the moment she told me she was feeling very down, i agree to the meeting up without further hesitation.

Sighz, she is another victim of love. Her encounter and story was definitely nothing new to me, but still, its unbearable for the affected party. She couldnt resist and broke down shortly. I think i did a damm bad job this evening as I was also at loss of words to console and comfort her. After the meet up, i quickly called up another friend in the forum for 'help', and she shrieked "What!? you only know her a few days ago and now she is pouring out to you on her bgr???"

Yeps, i was also constantly checking on my male EGO which has been telling me how great a person i was to often have gals coming up to me to pour out their woes. Indeed to date, i have quite a few surprises when some not-so-close gal friends came up to me to share with me their troubled hearts. Do i really look like a father?

Well, I think LOVE is such a very formidable weapon that can make you do wonders. It allows you to make extraordinary sacrifices (which u may find stupid later) , and it can also make u go weak on your knees such that you no longer has the energy to hold back your floodgates, allowing all your emotional currents to wash out all your secrets and deeply buried feelings.

While i am willing to spend much time and effort on my friend, I have to shamefully admit that i did not apply the same patience i had for my friends to my own mum. I deserve to be sent to hell.

Exams

I learnt that a few juniors are getting very stressed with exams (wats new?). Well, can I say tat its sooooo normal and common to have 'insufficient time' to prepare for exams. Projects and midterms already took up much of our semester time, and towards exams, we really hav v little time to study. Having at least 6 modules per sem, i remembered there were modules that i spent only abt 2-3 days to study the entire sem's work, no kidding.

But at the end of the day, we shld ask ourselves if its worth worrying so much over exams and results. I know its easy to say, but this is really the fact! Indeed, its a great waste of time and energy to spend on worrying, which could have been better spent on enjoying ur sch life or better prep ur exams. I know some ppl get stomaches whenever they have exams, and some have sleepless nights over mid-term results ... sheesh..

Having good results do not mean you will get a good job. Getting first class honours does not mean you will receive a high pay job. I have so many examples to quote (but i cant). Unless you wanna work for gahmen or gahmen related job. But then, if you are not a local, forget abt getting a gahmen job. But even if you a local but NOT a scholar, then u can forget abt going far in a gahmen job. However, there r still a handful of MNCs who pay u according to ur honours class though, esp the wafer fab ones.

As for me, i think i can now say a goodbye to my 'honours class'. I strongly believe my next employment will be greatly depended on my past job experiences, and my pay will be determined by my last drawn. Nobody is gonna care abt how many A1s I score in Os and how many 'S' papers I took in my As.

I got a couple of colleagues who didnt quite make it for their O levels, went to poly (no offense to poly grads!), and then spent a bit more money to take up a part time degree or overseas degree. Similarly, they are accepted into the company jus like the local grads, receive the same starting pay, and are regarded jus like any other grads!

So juniors out there, dun get so stressed out with results. Its so draining you know? Final yr shld be best, cos there s nothing much u could do to ur honours class (unless u r in borderline case), so why not really cherish this last moment to really study for the sake of interest and challenge?!

Porcupine under the Shade

I came out from my bath and notice missed call on my hp. I called back, and realise its one of my EVC friends, asking me why am i not at ECP blading with them.
I am very glad and touched by their nice gestures to include me as one of them, as i have not expected them to wait for me (cos i only joined them once).

To be frank, i did have a few past experiences that i find it hard as a new-comer to blend into an existing group of friends. My first experience was in CACS (my 2nd ECA in NUS). The ironic fact was that i felt very welcomed when i first joined the ECA, with my snrs all very friendly and approachable. Moreover, most of us were staying in the newly built PGP, andwe did have a fun and havoc time spent together. Unfortunately, most of these snrs were in their graduating yrs, and they became significantly less active the followng yr.

The ECA was then dominated mostly by freshies the following yr. Initially, I thot i would have a fun time knowing the newbies, but i missed their orientation session (due to clash with BS activities i think). And this miss proved to be the turning pt for my fate in this eca. During the subsq ECA sessions, I found it v tough to blend in with the freshies, esp after they have been out together in several outings which further fostered their new found frenship. As my days in BS got busier, i slowly drifted away from CACS and this 2nd ECA soon became a history for me

The 2nd experience i had was during my final sem in NUS. I happily shifted in to Sheares Hall on the 2nd week of sem2 yr4. Hall ppl were really much more friendlier and sociable than hostelites. I have gals knocking on my door to do self-intro, and also blk mates saying hi to me whenever they walked past my room. Ppl in the canteen wud take the initiative to come talking to you . However, they are doing all these becos they thot u r a newbie. Despite the fact that they try to make u feel welcomed, i realise i can never FEEL or be part of them. The friendships and bonds built up among them was already far too strong - the hall spirit.

Anyway, I nv like the idea of forming cliques, and was nv part of any particular grp or clique in sch. I once told my friend: If you wanna put it nicely, you can say i mix well with all ppl. If u wanna make it sound ugly, you can say i am Anti-Social ;D Whatever the case, i know its not easy to be my friend.

S I A N

Tmr I will be going back to work, SIAN. The more SIAN thing is that I will be away from work on course on thurs and friday, meaning I have to clear my day's work at home in the evenings at home, cos even if u r not working, other ppl are working, and they expect you to work as well. ARGHhhhh.............

Today, I carried on my skating session with Alice and CM, followed by a dinner gathering at CK's house. Had a fun time playing some board games and poker cards (Big2 and bridge). The moment i held the cards, it reminds me of my bunk life in the army. Just like what some hall ppl always love to say: If u have nv taken part in the RAG, its just as if you have not experienced hall life before. My version is : If u have not stayed in hall/hostel before, its just as if you have experienced campus life at all. And finally: If u do not experience bunk life in the army, its jus as good as not having experienced the fun part of army life!

Damm.. another friend commented that I am too harsh on myself (nale told me that before). But its indeed true i find my own character questionable. If i were my own friend, I wud not like this friend and his behaviour. He is not only impulsive, but arrogant and love to say nasty things to others.

Bought a brand new pair of roller skates today at $250. I duno if it is a good buy, but i know i made the sales person rather frustrated as I took a long time to decide. But the pair i bought was highly recommended by my EVC friends, all of which are v seasoned skaters. And it is supposed to be the cheapest among the higher end designs.

The older pair i had cost me nearly $300. Its fate shld be sealed tmr at the rubbish dumb. But the wrist guards are still in tact and they did help me to a great deal jus now. As for my skills, it still suck big time. I duno how long i will take to re-pick up again. I am still unable to do abrupt turnings and 'E-brakes'. But i have nv imagined myself as those type of super sporty and funky guys who are able to do impressive stunts - never. All i want is jus leisure cruising up and down the park.

Money is so hard to earn and yet it is so easy to spend! I am actually buying something that i am NOT v keen in doing and i DUN think i will be playing v often. Haha, tats irony. Perhaps its peer pressure, and probably i simply JUST feel like buying a pair. I dun understand myself either, hahaha.

Friends who have been reading my blog wud know that I have been mixing much with the EVC guys lately. Inevitably, my lifestyle has been influenced by them to a certain extent. A few of them were encouraging me to re-pick up in-line skatings.

I actually own a pair of rollerblades which I bought more than a decade ago. It cost me $300++ in all. The EVC friends were telling me to 'revive' my blades by replacing the fastening straps and ball bearings. Unfortunately, the shop-owner at ECP told me that my blades are too big for me (thats funny cos i didnt feel they were too big for me then), and intro me 2 pairs of 2nd hand skates at a v low price. But i didnt buy them as I have to re-consider if i really wanna re-pickup in-line skatings again. May consider buying a new pair which cost at least $250 for a decent model.

Today at my weekly EVC gathering, there were a few more new-comers who were very enthusiastic abt their newly bought eurovans. It seems that my social circle has been increasing much more for the past 1 yr, esp after taking up a new job. Ppl have been guessing my age. 5 yrs ago, ppl were already guessing that i am 28. 5 yrs later, ppl are still guessing i am 28. But the sad fact is that i am NOT even 28 yet.

The more i mix around with ppl, the more i notice that human beings are creatures with great egos (of cos including myself). I realise staying humble is very important. Ppl who think i am still very haolian... pls pls, i have tried to tone down a lot already :p

I think internet is too powerful that its getting beyond control. If i were Dawn Yang, I think I wud die manz... with countless of netizens digging out evidences to show that she has had plastic surgery - 1) By comparing the differences in her old and present photos. 2) By studying in details her face features 3) By studying how natural/unnatural the stretch marks and folds were on her face when she smiles etc.

Now, ppl are digging further by tracing the 'comments' she has left in friendster yrs ago, where she claimed she was a mixed blood of dutch, chinese and japanese (and ppl were crying foul that she is a pure chinese!). Whatever the case, I really sympathise with the plight she is in now. She has not even got the taste of stardom yet and she is already facing spams from all over.

And i think my blog has once again been visited by ppl-i-know but i duno who they are. Also, there is this guy/gal who left an earlier comment with the nick 'guess'. Ae2004 guessed that it might be 'zeathereal' but at once i know it wasnt his writing at all (cos the english is flawless, haha!). But to 'Mr Guess": Com'on, i know it may be fun on your side, but I do hope my friends respect me just as much as i respect them. Its my blog, so pls do let me know if you are here reading it, less say leaving comments. I admit one of the purpose of this blog is also for my friends - for them to receive updates on myself. So pls, let me know who u r.

But if you just another freaking boliao timid and shameless brat out there who chickens out into revealing your identity, go back home and suck your mama, ok? You are not welcome here. Got it sharp and clear?

Excuse me, Mr Engineer....

"Mr Engineer" is what some of the EVC ppl have been calling me (to tease me) these days. Tats becos i am the only engineering graduate around, and probably also the most ignorant van-owner around.

Sigh, having study for 20yrs, I dun really know what professional skills or knowledge i have acquired. My Principle Engineer ( a 52 yr old guy) was showing me the OR and NAND gates in my van wiring system and i told him the logic gates i have been seeing most of the times are all the ones on my books and lecture notes!

Although my wire connection was up and my lamp was also securedly mounted yday, I was still quite displeased with the exposed wires. Morever, the wires i used were the v thin type which i pluck out from my Micro-P project breadboard. I decided to replace the miserable wires with the superb copper ones my dad bought for his sound systems.

In the darkness at my carpark, I tried to thread my wires from my source point the destination point through the van body metal casing, with the help of an unfolded metal clothes hangar. Very glad that within 30 min, i was able to replace the wires and fix my lamp back successfully. Hurray! No more exposed wires!

Well, i think i am gradually approaching my dad's footsteps. Remember when i was younger, he wud spend a lot of time fixing car accesories on his cars (of cos he was driving more fanciful cars than the partner i am having now). I guess its gets meaningful only when the things are done DIY, with the minimum amt of money spent and max amt of self satisfaction derived.

Feeling Lucky

While I am feeing shxxty at work, I am constrastingly feeling lucky 'outside'.

Ever since i joined the EVC (European Van Club), I have been getting a lot of tips here and there to touch up on my ride. Firstly, they passed me a few pieces of static screen which i paste over my rear side windows (to reduce visibility). Secondly, I was given the lobang to get a real excellent and economical air freshener from S.S Supermarket. Most air-fresheners are over-priced due to the packaging and such. Next, the EVC chaps recommended me Mustafa which has a very huge car accy department. I bought a fluorescent lamp there to be installed in the rear of my partner.

But the problem came when i was abt to install the lamp myself. Although i am a graduate from NUS Electrical Engineering, I have to admit i dun even know how to install the lamp in my van. The wirings are so complicated. Fortunately, a principle engineer from my dept offered his help and he did all the wirings and connections for me.

Next, I faced the problem of how to mount the lamp permanently onto my vehicle. An EVC friend passed me a lot of 3M tapes and i spent 2 long hrs to fix it in vain. In the end, she suggested we drive to a car workshop owned by another EVC member for help. A hole was drilled and tadah. .the lamp was successfully secured under the roof! All these could not have happened without the help of this great friend from EVC.

And i jus received a phone call from my ex-staff, who invited me for a movie outing next sat. V touched and happy by their nice gestures. As i do not like to watch movie, i declined the invitation, but suggested a dinner gathering after thier movie. Yeaps!!

Occasionally, I will give some thoughts to my social life. As I do not have a gf, by right my friends should take up a large part of my life. I sometimes ponder if i am considered the sociable kind who have a lot of friends, or am i more towards the loner type who have only a small circle of friends?

A yr2 hostel mate suddenly icqed me today out of the blue, and jioed me to join SDU activities with him. I know this friend very well, having to stay with him for 1 full yr in PGP. He is a good looking chap, come from a rich family but has a pretty weird character. His fave quotes are " I dun care", as he loves to do things the way he likes, and claims he doesn care abt how others feel. And i guess this has greatly affected his social life, esp after graduation and coming out to work.

Frankly speaking, I am not interested in the activities by SDU. He asked me to propose what i wanna do then. Well, I think i wud rather spend a hot weekend afternoon washing my car in a quiet carpark under a big shady tree, or spend my time driving to some secluded and untouched natural places in singapore for a good relaxation. I feel that we do not need to have v GOOD reasons on why we wanna engage in certain activities, as long as we feel good, relaxed and peaceful doing them.

"What? Driving all the way to NTU/NUS to wash your van? siao!" - haha, tats the reactions from most ppl when i told them abt it. Well, to you it may be siao, but to me, i know i enjoy doing it. It brings me joy and happiness.

With rgd to social life, i think its really not a BIG problem to find friends in singapore. Recently, I have joined the eurovanclub and i found out there s actually a v strong fellowship among the members. For instance, they have a 'dog-swim' activity at Sentosa today. Its really up to you, how much you wanna open up to others.

Argh, feeling very stucked in my blog writing today, duno why. Pardon me for my improper sentence structures, i jus cant write smoothly this evening.

Natural-lover

Recently there has been another uproar in the blogsphere. There is this chiobu blogger head-hunted to be groomed into a star. My first reaction upon seeing her pics was like.. .freak. .she is really very gorgeous and stunning!

Subsequently, there were rumours flying around that she has plastic surgery. Many pontential-supporters of this chiobu were very disappointed with her. I was thinking : Whats the big deal with plastic surgery? I am neither against nor support plastic surgery - but as long as u feel happier and more confident with ur newly enhanced looks. The most important fact is that this chiobu blogger is really very beautiful and gorgeous NOW. Who cares abt how she looks like in the past....... Not until. . i saw her older photos on the web.

Pls do not be mistakened, she wasnt ugly in the past. In fact, she was very cute and sweet then. However, the difference from now is really too great. After reading more comments abt her, I realise that her nose is really looking fake - Her nose ridge is freakingly too straight! Looking at her photos again, she no longer looks as stunning and gorgeous as I felt earlier. The magical sense she gave me earlier vanishes completely.

Haha, we are all so superficial ppl. We all know looks are not impt, but yet, it always affect our decision and thinking most. And from this mini reflection, I realise I am not only a nature lover, but also a natural lover.

oOo0oOo0OoO0o0oOO0oo

I received an apology email from a friend not long ago. In the email, my friend apologised for not being able provide me with support as much as I could to her as a fren. She said that whenever she is depressed or sad, I will be able to cheer her up with either my lame jokes or meaningful 'advices'. On the other hand whenever I am depressed or down, she would only make the matter worse. Despite her good intention and effort, i often ended up feeling more frustrated and vexed.

Frankly speaking, I am very afraid of receiving such emails from friends. I do not know what to say or how to reply. Perhaps friends who know me better will know that whenever i feel frustrated or depressed, I wud ignore everything/everyone and prefer to be kept alone. However, such reactions are sometimes mistakened as ' I am angry with the other party'. Of cos there are also times that i love to complain and vent my frustrations to my friends, depending on which type of issues.

I am seriously a very individualistic person. I do not think I can live closely with others. I do not want my life to be dependent on others and vice-versa. I do not like to carry the 'burden' of knowing someone is upset, excited, happy or disappointed becos of me.

Spinning my money back....

My dad bought another Hiace home 2 days ago, with the license plate starting with "GY". I told him we shld exchange our license plates, as my name is then "GY". Anyway, this van is really v big and nice as compared to the Liteace. Sometimes i wonder whether we doing a van rental business or delivery business, instead of the miserable karaoke rental business.

Recently, i noticed that my fuel consumption has dropped from a healthy 15km/lit to 13km/lit, esp after i sent my van for servicing. I decided to heed the advice from some eurovan-seniors and inflated my wheels to 250psi. And it turns out to be very true that i really save a lot on my fuel! My ex-foreman and I must have thought the tyre standards for van is the same as the normal saloon cars - which is 220psi.

I duno if my theory and analysis is right, but this is how i guess it works:

- A 250psi inflated tyre has a circumference of 150cm (not real figure)
- A 220psi inflated tyre has a circumference of 145cm
=> 5cm difference per revolution

- Distance travelled everyday is 50km
=> 1,000,000 revolutions saved everyday

If the above analysis is true, then i can see why the mileage i clocked over the past week is significantly much lesser than what I had over the past 2 months! Anyway, the most impt thing is i am saving $$$!

Stress

I think my condition has worsen. I found myself having no appetite during lunch, and worse, I actually woke up in the middle of the night thinking of how to reply a work mail. It sounds so silly, and i find it silly too. But still... it happened to me! Although i was in a half-dream-half-awake state, I could recall vividly how i have planned to draft my mail.

The nearest I could get to this was during my uni days. I remember there were nights that i dreamt of the theories taught in the lectures. In my dream, I was still struggling hard to understand and digest the theories. I even dreamt of solutions to debug the programs i wrote etc. And almost 1 yr after i graduated from NUS, i sometimes still have nightmares of worrying 'not enough time to study for exams'! And of cos when i woke up, I felt relief and glad that i have already graduated .... P h e w .... The repercussions were indeed great and lasting.

I also remembered that during the first 2 yrs of my uni, I was still having nightmares of myself undergoing the tough 'army trainings', and being shouted around and tortured by the instructors in the fields. I think those unpleasant memories really left a great imprints on me, despite the fact that i have many more wonderful memories from the army.

In conclusion, I am just a very stressful person, and that explain why i often look very tensed up and unpleasant. Sometimes, I feel so ashamed to tell others i am a buddhist.

Sungei Serangoon

If you think nice places can only be found at overseas, you gotta think twice. There are actually plenty of scenic places in singapore too. I made my way to visit Sungei Serangoon today, which separates Pasir Ris (Lor Halus) from Punggol.

The first shot captured is Coney Island (aka Serangoon Island). Its an offshore island and part of the abandoned Punggol21 project. I believe in the near future, it wud be developed into a recreational cum watersports ground (sad!).

Can anyone recall how does P.Ubin looks like from singapore mainland? Or have you ever wondered how come u have no memories of how P.Ubin looks like from singapore mainland, although u have taken numerous bumboat rides across? Tats becos the stretch of coast on sg mainland which is facing P.Ubin is not accessible to the public (except for those who ever resided in Pasir Ris Camp). The 3rd pic shows a far-away Ubin. A few more closer shots of Ubin were also taken - to be uploaded later.

4th and 5th pic taken at Punggol 'grassland'. The last pic taken at Lor.Halus. I made a failed attempt to finish walking along the river banks, despite getting both my feet + sandles soaked in muddy waters. V fun though.

No photoshop has been done on these photos. They are taken directly from my iPAQ3400, not bad a quality considering its just an.. .iPAQ, yeah?

DC

Attended the final Dharma Circle of the semester. Always remembered the most enjoyable Dharma circles I had at BRE when I was in yr1, usually led by Sister Meibei. DCs were more like sharing sessions in the past, whereas it has now evolved into a Dharma Talk kind of session.

I was holding my hp high up in the air when i snapped this photo. Hence, the shot wasnt meant to aim at anyone, but zeathereal's face occupied almost 30% of the pic space. In the background, you can find 2 of our china friends (china right? but i forgot their names) whom are very active members in the society. Really feel so happy to see them participating actively in the society, benefitting both themselves and the campus community. Next to them is Ms P.Baru, then Pearl (duno why she so happy), then Weizhan (ahh.. another interesting newbie of the society) and followed by Pakkywing (i do see some elements of myself in him). And finally we have... DENNIS ONG!

I guess my karmic link with Dennis is pretty complex. Till today, I duno how shld i regard him as ..... He did leave an extremely great impact in my life ever since in yr2001. He was the one who kicked my ass and got me serious in buddhist learnings (if not, i wud probably be jus another joker who only fooled around in BS, and wud prob have left the society after yr2). However, he also left me an indelible imprint on my life, something not so positive though. Perhaps there are always 2 sides to a coin.

Over the yrs, I notice that while there was a greater variations in BS gals' characters, the guys in BS have always been quite typical - passive, quiet, serious, soft-spoken etc. Of cos there were a few exceptions like me! hahaha. As someone ever mentioned tat I seem to have this capability (skilful techniques or unscrupulous methods, watever u call it...) of getting ppl very close to me, I realise it still applies till today. But on the flip side, i also do have a fair share of ppl who dislike me the very first few moments they encounter me. Ha..

Health and Internet

" To strengthen the immunity of your body, you have to keep a well-balanced diet with adequate amount of exercise and bodily rest "

The above advice was wat i seen on a poster this morning, when i visited my company's clinic. I was down with influenza + sore throat. It seems that quite a few of us who came back from the M'sia Kathina trip were down with sickness. Weather too hot + insufficient sleep + insufficient water.

And to the thin and weak tree, pls take gooooooood care of yourself. Hope your fever has subsided. I have warned you the nite before i was getting sick, u nv take extra precaution. The correlation or curse (watever u call it) still holds till today, hahaha.

I have a new colleague joining me at work this week. He kinda brightens up my working mood, probably becos i always enjoy interacting with 'juniors'. Though i am pretty much a newbie and greenhorn myself, I am glad i could help him in some admin matters + technical terms. Helped him install MSN which is a v impt communication tool at my work place. And this reminded me of my older internet days....

I started using the internet in 1997, when MIRC was the hottest thingie in town. The feeling of chatting with stranger was scary, and i could remember the v first person i spoke to was a caucasian lady, by the nick of 'eeram'. V soon, i found myself 'promoted' to be the operator of several IRC channels like #temasekjc and #bowlerszone, and get to 'befriend' a lot of strangers.

V soon, i find it rather meaningless to chat with strangers ( i wonder why i did tat then, its so boliao to me now), and i gradually switch to ICQ. ICQ became the next 'IN" thingie, where u can easily communicate with your own friends, classmates, campmates etc. In fact, i icqed so much during my army weekends that i began to worry for my university days. I wondered if i wud be too obsessed with icqs tat i neglect my studies in the uni. But of cos, it didnt happen, haha! I guess i was still having a good balance and control over my internet usage. Quite contrary to my own past beliefs, i could actually survive well without the internet. When i get busy (be it during exams or at my present work), I wud totally ignore the internet.

Despite having more than 400 friends on my icq list then, I hardly see more than 15 of them online these days. ICQ days are officially over, with MSN taking over its place as the most popular messenger. Still going strong now.. i wonder wassup next in the internet world.

Bringing Mum to the Nature

Ever since i fell in love with the nature, i have always wanted to bring along my mum to visit these places. But there r several constraints such as her health and my busy work schedule. Finally today, i ve gotten this chance to bring her to the Mac Ritchie Reservoir Park.

My mum told me that Macritchie park used to be a favourite place for dating couples. However, about 50% of the ppl we met there were caucasians. The rest comprised mainly of china mainland ppl, with locals contributing to the minority. And among the locals, 50% of them are of age 50s (and above), followed by young kids. I hardly find any youngsters and ppl of my age.

The weather is so fine. I was actually feeling rather sick today - from flu + sorethroat. But the walk with my mum in the nature reserves kinda perk my spirit up. Jus like my colleague, she doesn like to walk along the water banks by the walkboards, but prefer to walk on the nature trails amongst the trees.

Life is sometimes like a dream. Its almost 40yrs ago when she used to hang around this place as a youngster. She is now approaching her 60s.. and her son is now old and capable enough to make money and drive her around in the city.