Birthday Suffering

Received a total of 15 bday wishing SMSes today, slightly less compared to the previous yr of 23 (i think). Still, i am thankful to all my frens who have spent the effort to punch in their keypads sending me well wishes - considering i am not someone who wud really do likewise for my frens (at least not v often).

Surprise SMSes from some frens like: Justin, Jingxian, Desmond, my own brother.
Surprise-oh-not-really-so SMSes from: Alice, ex-manager, ex-colleague
Suprise NO SMS from Zeathereal, OWY (but he's asking me out for dinner).

Also got a surprise call from Sohan... tat bombastic guy.

Got a double surprise when a friend called my hp at around 830pm, asking me to go down my house to meet her, and was greeted by a birthday cake she bought. Frankly speaking i wasnt feeling happy. I immediately recognise it as another challenge and hurdle for me to clear. I dun want ppl to spent or waste too much time on me.

I was chatting with kinsong this aftn on msn that my bday reminds me of even more suffering in life. I recalled how my mum painstakingly arranged cake cutting sessions for me every yr when i was a kid. She even bought 2 cakes for 2 the different classes i attended during my 4-yr-old bday (one at PAP and one at a private sch). That shows how much my mum loves me, and how much she has tried to make her precious son happy. I may be happy then (i really duno) but upon recalling back now, i feel sad over what she has done. Dun ask me why, i jus feel tat growing up itself is intense suffering. The answer shld be hovering around 'attachment'.

Our parents are gradually aging each yr. They r no longer the middle-aged and healthy adults we used to perceive them to be. They r entering their greying years. I really hope i can take v good care of them.