Appeal

My feeling now is sad, very sad, very very upset.

Just as much as I do not wish to sound like whinning puppy, who does nothing except for giving more and more complaints about life, there are times that my threshold has been reached and I need to find a safe way to vent out my frustrations.

What a moody day to start off with 2005. My family problem seems to have no chance of recovery, but only worsen as the day goes by. Not even the first day of 2005 was spared. And I have been such a good actor all the while, who is so good in escaping from this reality of life.

The fact is that my mood has been so negatively dominated by my family problem that I hardly feel anything for the Tsunami victims. Now, who doesn feel pains when you see your family members in sufferings, yet you cant do much to help them?

A timely reminder from Snail Brother that the best thing I can do is to be filial to my parents. Afterall, its widely taught in buddhism that the debts we owe our parents can nv be repaid no matter how much sufferings we bear for them this life. I have enjoyed too good a life (freakingly good life) as a child, and NOW is the time to repay them back. I shldnt complain , yeah?

Since years ago, I have developed this mechanism of 'self healing', instilling myself with positive thoughts and engaging myself with meaningful and constructive activities, to overcome the depressing moments of my life. But I seem to have depowered since late 2003 after Camp Voyage.

To all friends out there who are troubled by 'secondary problems' like BGR, pls remind yourself that you have wonderful family members waiting at home for you. For ppl like me who do not have a warm and harmonious family, we shld be glad that we still have shelthers, nice beds and a PC for us to connect to our friends.

I hope I dun ask too much in life, I just wish to see less sufferings in all sentient beings. I need a healthy mind and body to live on, and I appeal to all my friends to give me your supports.