First Reject

Monday blue is slowly creeping in again. Nv felt so sian with mondays in life, not even during my army days. And i din even care about weekends during my campus days.. cos everyday was like the same to me.

This evening, I did not visit Mr Lim's place, but meditated at Ven Vissudhacara's place instead. It's a very peaceful and conducive place that I believe most ppl will be able to meditate well. And i contemplated that I am still pretty much involved in the useless worldly means. In other words, I am still wasting precious time. I meditated and saw images of animal fur, belonging either to a wild beast or mabbe a cat. I couldnt see the entire animal, but thought that the colour of the fur resemble that of my hair, which is now dominantly black with tuffs of golden strands concentrated at the front portion. Mabbe I will be reborn an animal next life? Or worse, banish to hell for my bad karma.

Today, I turned down a close friend's request. Its actually quite normal to turn down ppl, but I have NEVER done it to this friend of mine. Although I know that he would not mind or blame me, but I really surprised myself for this decision I made today, as I couldnt believe that I am NOT answering to his request. Perhaps I have over done it in the past. Well, those who know me better will know that I love buying my friends food.

2 more weeks, my eyes will be undergoing the knives, and I realise some of my friends would not be around then - either going for retreats or camps. Hopefully when I meet u guys the next time, I will be specless, if not, do standby me with a walking stick - touch wood!