变迁

X'mas Party Photos

My constant changing of blog URL is a good indication that I am constantly trying to run away from attention. Probably I really do share the same sentiments as bean and jane. Bean wants to distant away from the crowds while Jane is asking for a simple life. Me too.

Since young, I have been enjoying relatively high profile, esp towards my end of the army. The entire unit would know who Sgt Gordon is, and he would not encounter much difficulties making requests or asking others to do work, regardless of their ranks. When I joined NUSBS FOC2000, the limelight was somehow thrown to be, for having someone more 'hip' and 'hyper' among the guys in NUSBS then - I was often remembered by the seniors as the one who wore earing, dye hair and drove a mercedes benz. Throughout my years in NUSBS, I remained high profile, mainly because I talked a lot and was very involved in the activities.

Perhaps age is catching up, or mabbe its due to some downturn in life causing a temporary change, I am now looking forward to a less high profile life, I wish to get less attention from others, and dun wish to talk and share as much with others. This change may not be only temporary, but at least thats how I feel now and hope for a v down to earth life.

This afternoon, I got myself really fed up after the same old executive whom I argued with weeks ago said and did something to me. While I was struggling hard to let go of the anger, remind myself of bad karma and warn myself not to think along the line of 'revenge', the anger in me refused to subside. It was only after I thought of showing compassion to her, I managed to cool down.

I notice a surprise change in myself these couple of days. Firstly, my disgust for meat grew even larger, esp this morning, that I couldnt bring myself to eat meat. Thanks (or no thanks) to the few pieces of boneless drumlets my fren prepared last evening for the x'mas party. Next, I found myself v interested in reading lately. In fact, i have been furiously reading these days, and the amount of pages I covered these couple of days far exceed the total number of pages I have read for the past year.

Also, I surprised myself for my sudden interest in meditation, again. Though the interest is not new, the motivation is definitely a brand new one. In the past, I forced myself to meditate regularly because I WANT to improve and cultivate. Now, I want to meditate because I LOVE to meditate, especially in the middle of my bedroom at night. Finally, I was able to jog for a longer distance at a much faster speed - proven just now. That is most probably a result of hard work and practice , no big deal haha.

A friend was writing an appeal letter, to help 'console' a gal friend who just broke up with her bf (also our friend). I decided not to interfere...