I guess I shld quickly pen down a few words before 2004 ends.
2004 has been a super roller coaster like year for me. Having to go through the transition phase of leaving NUS and going out to work, which is a totally brand new experience for someone like me who has nv picked up any holiday job before.
2004 is the yr i lost my family harmony, my family financial stability, and most upsetting, a couple of close spiritual friends. Not that they are no longer around but the bond no longer exist. On the positive note, I have get to know many wonderful people, both from the buddhist community and work place. I have also gotten a not-too-bad job which pay is good enough for me to feed my family comfortably.
I dun hope for a peaceful and smooth-sailing 2005, for i know its not going to happen. But i just wish myself all the best, in dealing and tackling with all obstacles in life, and reaching out to as many needy ppl as possible.
I know my own spiritual level has gone to rock bottom, and I vow to work hard on it. That shld be one of my top priority in life, other than money making. And I sincerely thank all my friends who have supported me in one way or another :)
A Happy New Year!
Friday, December 31, 2004
Thursday, December 30, 2004
New found sights
Finally, I am done with both eyes. And i am sincerely thankful for the concerns of some of my friends like Edward, Riki and Gillian. Special thanks to jennifer for giving me a kogepan softtoy that wears a 'Ping An' tag on the neck. I wonder how she knows I like kogepans....
The lasik operation today went off less smoothly. Firstly, someone who was supposed to have his operation earlier in the day 'cut' my queue, cos his doctor was late. In the end, my operation timing was pushed back, and I have to wait in my operation suits and head gears for a longer timing than usual, with the anasthetics effect going off gradually.
Secondly, my doctor freaked me out by calling me "Johnathan?". The fact is that there is really a Johnathan after me, awaiting for the lasik. I quickly corrected my doctor, fearing that he may key in the settings according to Johanathan's specs, but he did not give me any response. Luckily the nurse reminded him that this is "Gordon".
Next, during the op, the doctor was supposed to tape up both my upper and lower eye lids, before placing a circular ring around my eye ball. After which, the vacuum pump wud be turned on, and my eye ball will be sucked up and compressed with the aid of the circular clip. Unfortunately despite many tries, he failed to compress my eye ball, though he exerted more force thus creating more pains to my eye. Finally, he found out the fault lies in the circular clip, as he quickly replaced another one and it finally worked.
The entire lasik procedure was actually not very fun but disgusting. Firstly, you feel the pressure of your eye ball being sucked up. Next, you see your cornea being sliced and flap aside. Finally, you can hear the lasering sound and most disgustingly, the burning smells that emit from the burning of your cornea cells. However, overall the procedure is still a very fast and painless one (if not of the circular clip problem).
And not forgetting to mention the excitment of my new found eye sight. For the first time in life, I was able to see everything around me so clearly, esp at night before i sleep. The window grills, the furnitures, buddha statues, burning flame etc were all super clear and bright. Having to live in a dark & blurry world for the past 2 decades, the feeling i get now is definitely refreshing.
PS: May my friend and his family be safe and sound, Om Mani Padme Hum!
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Out-of-Office
Everytime I went for a long course, I will email my colleagues and working partners that I will be out of office for that period, and kindly request them to forward any urgent matters to my direct superior or direct subordinate.
And I wish to inform all my friends now that I may be absent from my blog or online for the rest of this week due to some commitments.
Cheerios!
And I wish to inform all my friends now that I may be absent from my blog or online for the rest of this week due to some commitments.
Cheerios!
Sunday, December 26, 2004
Army no more
Recently, I get to acknowledge an old army friend in friendster whom i mentioned a few entries earlier. In fact, I cannot really remember or recall this guy, but our chatting on msn sure brought back many memories of our army days.
As we were chatting, I was once again bogged down by my past army memories. I mentioned about going to Pulau Tekong almost every week in yr 2000. I was then already a pretty seasoned senior personnel in the army, who would travel to Tekong to either pick up some new army personnel, or for other admin matters.
Everytime I landed on the Ladang Jetty, I would be filled with emotions. I would recall the very first time I landed on Tekong in 1997, jumping down from the 3-tonner, carrying a super heavy alibaba bag. I also remembered the moment when I was able to find my alibaba bag and got really panick. Everytime the landrover drove past the big patch of field facing the singapore mainland, i would recall the days where I had my field PT over there. The 'tekaning' moments when we were being played and fooled running about under the merciless commands, carry our buddies on our back. Enduring all the tortures while gazing sadly across the field at the Singapore mainland. That piece of land whom we have lived for the past 19 yrs have nv looked as lovely and sweet before.....
Every sunday evening (like tonight) in late 1997 would be the saddest moment of the week for us. We would report at Commando Jetty, awaiting for the fastscraft to ferry us back to P.Tekong from mainland singapore. Every time on the fastscraft, i would have this evil thought in me : how i wish the fastscraft will sink in the sea! then i dun need to go tekong and got trap there for a brand new week again...... but of cos it nv happened.
When i revisited tekong very often in 2000, i did some reflections. I see how much I have grown and changed within the 2 yr plus of 'training' in the army environment. My confidence has taken a great soar, after going through all the hardships of dealing with nasty ppl, and being thrown in the most difficult situations in life. My life has been re-shaped entirely. While I thought my confidence has greatly increased, my ego swelled even greater, and so does my attachment.
I know my limits in writing so I could nv express how I feel for my army life in words. Its definitely much stronger than what you can read from here ..... I hope I can let it go fast.
As we were chatting, I was once again bogged down by my past army memories. I mentioned about going to Pulau Tekong almost every week in yr 2000. I was then already a pretty seasoned senior personnel in the army, who would travel to Tekong to either pick up some new army personnel, or for other admin matters.
Everytime I landed on the Ladang Jetty, I would be filled with emotions. I would recall the very first time I landed on Tekong in 1997, jumping down from the 3-tonner, carrying a super heavy alibaba bag. I also remembered the moment when I was able to find my alibaba bag and got really panick. Everytime the landrover drove past the big patch of field facing the singapore mainland, i would recall the days where I had my field PT over there. The 'tekaning' moments when we were being played and fooled running about under the merciless commands, carry our buddies on our back. Enduring all the tortures while gazing sadly across the field at the Singapore mainland. That piece of land whom we have lived for the past 19 yrs have nv looked as lovely and sweet before.....
Every sunday evening (like tonight) in late 1997 would be the saddest moment of the week for us. We would report at Commando Jetty, awaiting for the fastscraft to ferry us back to P.Tekong from mainland singapore. Every time on the fastscraft, i would have this evil thought in me : how i wish the fastscraft will sink in the sea! then i dun need to go tekong and got trap there for a brand new week again...... but of cos it nv happened.
When i revisited tekong very often in 2000, i did some reflections. I see how much I have grown and changed within the 2 yr plus of 'training' in the army environment. My confidence has taken a great soar, after going through all the hardships of dealing with nasty ppl, and being thrown in the most difficult situations in life. My life has been re-shaped entirely. While I thought my confidence has greatly increased, my ego swelled even greater, and so does my attachment.
I know my limits in writing so I could nv express how I feel for my army life in words. Its definitely much stronger than what you can read from here ..... I hope I can let it go fast.
Saturday, December 25, 2004
Deng x 9
Received the following e-greeting from kici:
Wish u A MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! Eat more, drink more, and treat me more!!!
Cheers
Riki
Well, it seems that he is hinting that I havent treated him enough, or nv treat him to christmas dinner, huh?
Today went to watch the movie 'Kungfu' with my army friends. Its supposed to be a comedy, and yeah, i did laugh at 2 scenes. Thats considered a breakthrough cos i am seldom amused by comedies or touched by love movies. Most of the time, I would have this 'in-built' mindset that these ppl on the screen are just acting, not real. On the other hand, I prefer to watch action movies, or those with very splendid effects like Independence Day, The Mummies and my fave is horror movies.
These few days, I have been driving not my own van, but my brother's Altis as he is away overseas. Its only a short 6 month break from driving an auto car and I am already not used to it. Firstly, its the pressure of driving a new car, fearing of hitting or getting scratched by other automobiles. Secondly, the petrol level seems to drop very fast - aww $$$. Thirdly, I am already experiencing controlling the car, esp wary of hitting the kerbs when doing turnings and also lane filterings. Thats becos I find the car very low, and my confidence in driving it has greatly been lowered.
Anyway, I forgot I have driven a car for almost 4yr plus before I switched to a van... so its all psychological effect. But driving the Altis for these 2 days have convinced me that I am not ready to buy a car yet. Its too huge a burden.
A guy is now happily telling me his newly found relationship with a gal. I wish him all the best, although I have nv been positive about bgr. Good Luck.
Anyone else, besides me and nolittleway, find the Mac Donalds Mouse-playing-the-piano very cute?
Wish u A MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! Eat more, drink more, and treat me more!!!
Cheers
Riki
Well, it seems that he is hinting that I havent treated him enough, or nv treat him to christmas dinner, huh?
Today went to watch the movie 'Kungfu' with my army friends. Its supposed to be a comedy, and yeah, i did laugh at 2 scenes. Thats considered a breakthrough cos i am seldom amused by comedies or touched by love movies. Most of the time, I would have this 'in-built' mindset that these ppl on the screen are just acting, not real. On the other hand, I prefer to watch action movies, or those with very splendid effects like Independence Day, The Mummies and my fave is horror movies.
These few days, I have been driving not my own van, but my brother's Altis as he is away overseas. Its only a short 6 month break from driving an auto car and I am already not used to it. Firstly, its the pressure of driving a new car, fearing of hitting or getting scratched by other automobiles. Secondly, the petrol level seems to drop very fast - aww $$$. Thirdly, I am already experiencing controlling the car, esp wary of hitting the kerbs when doing turnings and also lane filterings. Thats becos I find the car very low, and my confidence in driving it has greatly been lowered.
Anyway, I forgot I have driven a car for almost 4yr plus before I switched to a van... so its all psychological effect. But driving the Altis for these 2 days have convinced me that I am not ready to buy a car yet. Its too huge a burden.
A guy is now happily telling me his newly found relationship with a gal. I wish him all the best, although I have nv been positive about bgr. Good Luck.
Anyone else, besides me and nolittleway, find the Mac Donalds Mouse-playing-the-piano very cute?
Friday, December 24, 2004
Wallet Day!
Decided to migrate my blog back to this URL, having quite a number of ppl asking me what happened to my blog. Feel that the negative energies in me have gradually been subsided and dispelled, so decided to bring some joy back to this blog.
Was enjoying the evening session of the Om Retreat at PKS this evening. I dun think I can chant very well, cos it made my throat dry. Nevertheless, its better than wasting time hanging out on streets or pubbing in clubs, like what I did in the previous years.
Decided to speed home in my bro's car before the clock strikes 12 midnight. Last year around this time, I met with a car accident at Scott's Rd. It was a torturing nightmare for me, as the other party refused to give in and continued to pursue the case. The worse thing is that it wasnt my fault - i can truthfully swear for it. Perhaps I shld see it as a way to clean away my bad karma.
Today, I received 4 x'mas presents in all. Out of the 4 presents, 3 are wallets. Just because I kept complaining my wallet was torn, that they really take it seriously. But one of the wallets is from my mum. I nv expect her to buy me one but the design she bought is really not nice, and i dun intend to use it. I seriously hope she wun feel sad about it .. sighz.
Merry X'mas Everyone!
Was enjoying the evening session of the Om Retreat at PKS this evening. I dun think I can chant very well, cos it made my throat dry. Nevertheless, its better than wasting time hanging out on streets or pubbing in clubs, like what I did in the previous years.
Decided to speed home in my bro's car before the clock strikes 12 midnight. Last year around this time, I met with a car accident at Scott's Rd. It was a torturing nightmare for me, as the other party refused to give in and continued to pursue the case. The worse thing is that it wasnt my fault - i can truthfully swear for it. Perhaps I shld see it as a way to clean away my bad karma.
Today, I received 4 x'mas presents in all. Out of the 4 presents, 3 are wallets. Just because I kept complaining my wallet was torn, that they really take it seriously. But one of the wallets is from my mum. I nv expect her to buy me one but the design she bought is really not nice, and i dun intend to use it. I seriously hope she wun feel sad about it .. sighz.
Merry X'mas Everyone!
Xmas Eve
I find it very refreshing to own a blog that nobody or v few ppl read it. I cant precisely explain the reason but it feels good. Perhaps it has to do with having less responsibility in answer to ppl who read what I wrote.
Nothing spectacular these few days except that the excitment grows each day. Not talking abt X'mas definitely, but the fateful day of my eye op. Ever since I started work, I have been 'searching' for interesting events to break the monotonous lifestyle of mine. It used to be Dharma circles, courses at ITE etc. The one I have long been waiting for is my visit to SNEC. Feel some pessimisism in me, or mabbe i am jus paranoid. From past experiences, things always go wrong when I was too excited over them.
My staff just called me to ask if they can be excused uniform since its x'mas eve today (we r not working full day today). My answer is negative... I want them to wear uniform. Mabbe thats the minimum discipline that I wish to keep for myself and my staff.
Yday, another 50+yr old staff was called into my manager's office for disciplinary problems. He has already received a previous Final Warning letter from HR dept on poor working attitude. He was begging us to let him off for once and let him continue to work. He cried about having and 80+ yr old mother. I guessed I have grown much tougher and hard hearted, I told my boss to dismiss him. We cant keep old, slow and poor workers in our company and affect our productivity. Scold me if you want, but I were to keep him back, the other staff will scold me as well.
Merry Xmas!
Nothing spectacular these few days except that the excitment grows each day. Not talking abt X'mas definitely, but the fateful day of my eye op. Ever since I started work, I have been 'searching' for interesting events to break the monotonous lifestyle of mine. It used to be Dharma circles, courses at ITE etc. The one I have long been waiting for is my visit to SNEC. Feel some pessimisism in me, or mabbe i am jus paranoid. From past experiences, things always go wrong when I was too excited over them.
My staff just called me to ask if they can be excused uniform since its x'mas eve today (we r not working full day today). My answer is negative... I want them to wear uniform. Mabbe thats the minimum discipline that I wish to keep for myself and my staff.
Yday, another 50+yr old staff was called into my manager's office for disciplinary problems. He has already received a previous Final Warning letter from HR dept on poor working attitude. He was begging us to let him off for once and let him continue to work. He cried about having and 80+ yr old mother. I guessed I have grown much tougher and hard hearted, I told my boss to dismiss him. We cant keep old, slow and poor workers in our company and affect our productivity. Scold me if you want, but I were to keep him back, the other staff will scold me as well.
Merry Xmas!
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
BGR, pls....
This evening, I fetch Sohan at PGP and sent him to the airport. I think Sohan is a wonderful friend and I feel very happy providing such a service for him. Will see him back from Sri Lanka abt 2.5 weeks later.
Today, I received 5 emails from my clique of 9 friends. They have specially left out the emails of the couple who just broke off. In their emails, they were expressing and exchanging their concerns on the 'gal', whom they thought was taking things very badly. Some of these friends were getting very worried and frantic on how we should go abt consoling and helping the gal who behaved v differently tat evening.
However, sharing the same sentiments as another gal, we thought we should just leave the gal alone. She may have appeared to be very stone, quiet and down during our x'mas party, but that doesn mean we NEED to do anything on her now. I felt that sometimes we just need to leave ppl alone, let her temporarily shut herself from the world, and perhaps chill it out at home.
While my other friends were worried that she may get into depression or run herself with wild imaginations, I thought we were just very selfish ppl who wanted her to behave the way we wish to see her to be. Afterall, we cant expect her to behave like her old usual self when she just broke up right? Its hard to tell my friends my idea, as I really dun wish to complicate matters.
I have expressed my stand to my friends that we shld leave her alone, and check her out probably a week later. I really believe in karma (or retribution in layman terms). How you treat others in the past will be how others will treat u in the future. Its especially true when it comes to relationship.
Today, I received 5 emails from my clique of 9 friends. They have specially left out the emails of the couple who just broke off. In their emails, they were expressing and exchanging their concerns on the 'gal', whom they thought was taking things very badly. Some of these friends were getting very worried and frantic on how we should go abt consoling and helping the gal who behaved v differently tat evening.
However, sharing the same sentiments as another gal, we thought we should just leave the gal alone. She may have appeared to be very stone, quiet and down during our x'mas party, but that doesn mean we NEED to do anything on her now. I felt that sometimes we just need to leave ppl alone, let her temporarily shut herself from the world, and perhaps chill it out at home.
While my other friends were worried that she may get into depression or run herself with wild imaginations, I thought we were just very selfish ppl who wanted her to behave the way we wish to see her to be. Afterall, we cant expect her to behave like her old usual self when she just broke up right? Its hard to tell my friends my idea, as I really dun wish to complicate matters.
I have expressed my stand to my friends that we shld leave her alone, and check her out probably a week later. I really believe in karma (or retribution in layman terms). How you treat others in the past will be how others will treat u in the future. Its especially true when it comes to relationship.
Monday, December 20, 2004
变迁
X'mas Party Photos
My constant changing of blog URL is a good indication that I am constantly trying to run away from attention. Probably I really do share the same sentiments as bean and jane. Bean wants to distant away from the crowds while Jane is asking for a simple life. Me too.
Since young, I have been enjoying relatively high profile, esp towards my end of the army. The entire unit would know who Sgt Gordon is, and he would not encounter much difficulties making requests or asking others to do work, regardless of their ranks. When I joined NUSBS FOC2000, the limelight was somehow thrown to be, for having someone more 'hip' and 'hyper' among the guys in NUSBS then - I was often remembered by the seniors as the one who wore earing, dye hair and drove a mercedes benz. Throughout my years in NUSBS, I remained high profile, mainly because I talked a lot and was very involved in the activities.
Perhaps age is catching up, or mabbe its due to some downturn in life causing a temporary change, I am now looking forward to a less high profile life, I wish to get less attention from others, and dun wish to talk and share as much with others. This change may not be only temporary, but at least thats how I feel now and hope for a v down to earth life.
This afternoon, I got myself really fed up after the same old executive whom I argued with weeks ago said and did something to me. While I was struggling hard to let go of the anger, remind myself of bad karma and warn myself not to think along the line of 'revenge', the anger in me refused to subside. It was only after I thought of showing compassion to her, I managed to cool down.
I notice a surprise change in myself these couple of days. Firstly, my disgust for meat grew even larger, esp this morning, that I couldnt bring myself to eat meat. Thanks (or no thanks) to the few pieces of boneless drumlets my fren prepared last evening for the x'mas party. Next, I found myself v interested in reading lately. In fact, i have been furiously reading these days, and the amount of pages I covered these couple of days far exceed the total number of pages I have read for the past year.
Also, I surprised myself for my sudden interest in meditation, again. Though the interest is not new, the motivation is definitely a brand new one. In the past, I forced myself to meditate regularly because I WANT to improve and cultivate. Now, I want to meditate because I LOVE to meditate, especially in the middle of my bedroom at night. Finally, I was able to jog for a longer distance at a much faster speed - proven just now. That is most probably a result of hard work and practice , no big deal haha.
A friend was writing an appeal letter, to help 'console' a gal friend who just broke up with her bf (also our friend). I decided not to interfere...
My constant changing of blog URL is a good indication that I am constantly trying to run away from attention. Probably I really do share the same sentiments as bean and jane. Bean wants to distant away from the crowds while Jane is asking for a simple life. Me too.
Since young, I have been enjoying relatively high profile, esp towards my end of the army. The entire unit would know who Sgt Gordon is, and he would not encounter much difficulties making requests or asking others to do work, regardless of their ranks. When I joined NUSBS FOC2000, the limelight was somehow thrown to be, for having someone more 'hip' and 'hyper' among the guys in NUSBS then - I was often remembered by the seniors as the one who wore earing, dye hair and drove a mercedes benz. Throughout my years in NUSBS, I remained high profile, mainly because I talked a lot and was very involved in the activities.
Perhaps age is catching up, or mabbe its due to some downturn in life causing a temporary change, I am now looking forward to a less high profile life, I wish to get less attention from others, and dun wish to talk and share as much with others. This change may not be only temporary, but at least thats how I feel now and hope for a v down to earth life.
This afternoon, I got myself really fed up after the same old executive whom I argued with weeks ago said and did something to me. While I was struggling hard to let go of the anger, remind myself of bad karma and warn myself not to think along the line of 'revenge', the anger in me refused to subside. It was only after I thought of showing compassion to her, I managed to cool down.
I notice a surprise change in myself these couple of days. Firstly, my disgust for meat grew even larger, esp this morning, that I couldnt bring myself to eat meat. Thanks (or no thanks) to the few pieces of boneless drumlets my fren prepared last evening for the x'mas party. Next, I found myself v interested in reading lately. In fact, i have been furiously reading these days, and the amount of pages I covered these couple of days far exceed the total number of pages I have read for the past year.
Also, I surprised myself for my sudden interest in meditation, again. Though the interest is not new, the motivation is definitely a brand new one. In the past, I forced myself to meditate regularly because I WANT to improve and cultivate. Now, I want to meditate because I LOVE to meditate, especially in the middle of my bedroom at night. Finally, I was able to jog for a longer distance at a much faster speed - proven just now. That is most probably a result of hard work and practice , no big deal haha.
A friend was writing an appeal letter, to help 'console' a gal friend who just broke up with her bf (also our friend). I decided not to interfere...
Thin and Scarce
Decided to change my blog URL temporarily. The habit of writing is still there, but just dun wish to let too many ppl read, simply dun wish to share as much lately.
This evening, I had an early x'mas party with my nusbs foc clique - the 9 of us. 4 guys 5 gals, supposed to comprise 3 couples but 1 couple broke up recently. Still, all of then turned up at my house this evening for the party. Kinda feeling awkward as we have to pretend nothing has happened.
We have a major cooking session in my kitchen. After which, we exchanged x'mas presents, and even drew lots to determine who will be in charged of buying whose present for next yr's christmas. The name each one of us picked will be kept a secret until next yr's x'mas.
Somehow, it was like a mini AGM for the 9 of us, that we began to plan and decide the dates to meet up for 2005. Besides the annual CNY house visits, we also meet up for one another's birthday. For 2005, we decided to celebrate some of our bdays together as we find it v difficult to fix dates tat all of us will be able to make it. There will be a gathering in Jan (2 bdays), a second one in June (2 bdays), third one in july (2 bdays), forth one in Sep (2 bdays) and last one in Dec (1 bday + x'mas). There will be a 'duty-personnel' in charged for each gathering .. .sound so 'BS', cant blame that all of us were either ex-MC or ex-FOC committee of NUSBS. And becos all are working personnel, we really have to plan and 'book' one another in advanced.
Towards the end of the gathering, we sat in a circle to share our reflections and resolutions for 2005. All of us felt that time really flies, as it seemed that the ever first similar gathering we ever had in 2000 at Alice's house was jus not along ago (but it has already been 4 yrs). A few of them poured out their hearts to share their problems, about their struggle in the working life etc. Unfortunately, only a couple of them remain active in Dharma practicings, although all of us are 'products' of NUSBS camps.
Graduating and stepping out into the society to work really turn our life upside down. We can only stay strong and firm, especially during this period of life whereby spiritual support is getting super thin and weak.
This evening, I had an early x'mas party with my nusbs foc clique - the 9 of us. 4 guys 5 gals, supposed to comprise 3 couples but 1 couple broke up recently. Still, all of then turned up at my house this evening for the party. Kinda feeling awkward as we have to pretend nothing has happened.
We have a major cooking session in my kitchen. After which, we exchanged x'mas presents, and even drew lots to determine who will be in charged of buying whose present for next yr's christmas. The name each one of us picked will be kept a secret until next yr's x'mas.
Somehow, it was like a mini AGM for the 9 of us, that we began to plan and decide the dates to meet up for 2005. Besides the annual CNY house visits, we also meet up for one another's birthday. For 2005, we decided to celebrate some of our bdays together as we find it v difficult to fix dates tat all of us will be able to make it. There will be a gathering in Jan (2 bdays), a second one in June (2 bdays), third one in july (2 bdays), forth one in Sep (2 bdays) and last one in Dec (1 bday + x'mas). There will be a 'duty-personnel' in charged for each gathering .. .sound so 'BS', cant blame that all of us were either ex-MC or ex-FOC committee of NUSBS. And becos all are working personnel, we really have to plan and 'book' one another in advanced.
Towards the end of the gathering, we sat in a circle to share our reflections and resolutions for 2005. All of us felt that time really flies, as it seemed that the ever first similar gathering we ever had in 2000 at Alice's house was jus not along ago (but it has already been 4 yrs). A few of them poured out their hearts to share their problems, about their struggle in the working life etc. Unfortunately, only a couple of them remain active in Dharma practicings, although all of us are 'products' of NUSBS camps.
Graduating and stepping out into the society to work really turn our life upside down. We can only stay strong and firm, especially during this period of life whereby spiritual support is getting super thin and weak.
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
A very Cliche` Entry...
No... they are not father and son, nor uncle and newphew. These 2 guys are of the same age! Nhan and Riki (the guy who tipu me), captured on the camera at NUSBS Dharma Camp 2004.
This evening, I pop by Bee Low Sze to check out the juniors, who are having Dharma camp over there. I see that they have found a v nice place at the Dharma hall to engage in group discussions, feedbacks and chit chats. Very cosy, clean and bright.. a very conducive place to build up fellowship. I had my 3 refuges and 5 precepts taken there as well.
As what I have told bean earlier on, I was already feeling very distanced from the society ever since I stepped down from the committee. However, some the guys who are running the show now are extremely friendly and warm - reminds me of the nusbs seniors who impressed me greatly when I was a freshie in NUSBS FOC. I felt very welcomed and cheerful this evening, thanks to Nhan and Sohan for their hospitality (not Hostility). I feel that sometimes we just cant think too much in life, just appreciate whatever come to us, and let go whatever we no longer have - live in the present moment.
Life..... sometimes we know something not good is going to happen, yet we cannot stop it from happening. Sometimes it happens on ourselves, and sometimes it happens on our friends. Cos we are often poisoned by delusions and ignorance, greed and hatred, that we make illogical and impulsive decisions.
We are already born with so much sufferings, why do we wanna add more sufferings to our life? Live a simple life, want less, and love more.
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Out-smarted
Yday, I have a new friend, Jing Na (an ex nusbs member), added to my friendster list. I was browsing through her friendster network when I found a familiar face, by the name of Simon. It took me quite sometime before I could recognise him as the guy who sat beside me at I2R lab almost everyday. I was doing my FYP then, while he was having his IA.
When I first saw him at I2R, I already thought this guy look familiar. I later concluded that he must have resembled another BS snr of mine, Chung Fee. We might have sat and see each other everyday but we have nv spoken to each other for the entire semester. As we were both under the digital comms department, I knew he was struggling to understand some basic digital comms concepts, but I have nv lent him a helping hand. Cant blame me cos everyone was so hard press for time on FYP!
Feeling quite guilty of not lending a helping hand to my department jnr, I decided send him a greeting msg yday to ask how his FYP is getting along. I thought it will surely be a surprise for him, having to receive a msg from someone who he has nv spoken too. And yeps, he replied me yday evening annd surprised me instead by saying " Oh, you are gordon from XXX right? I actually know you since the army, but u din seem to recognise me so i din acknowledge you......."
I felt so malu, even though he was not physically around. I must have talked to too many ppl in camp that I have forgotten each and everyone of them. In fact, I have met up with a few guys at Engin canteen who could recognise me from my army unit, but I was unable to remember them. Despite Simon's effort to revive my memory by saying how we have worked together and communicated in the army, it remains blank in my head. I feel so paiseh..
Haha, my initial intention is to give him a gentle surprise, ended up he gave me a surprise instead..... well, my memory is really failing me. Anyway, its a pleasant surprise for me to be able to catch up with an old aquaintance, despite a 5 yr break.
When I first saw him at I2R, I already thought this guy look familiar. I later concluded that he must have resembled another BS snr of mine, Chung Fee. We might have sat and see each other everyday but we have nv spoken to each other for the entire semester. As we were both under the digital comms department, I knew he was struggling to understand some basic digital comms concepts, but I have nv lent him a helping hand. Cant blame me cos everyone was so hard press for time on FYP!
Feeling quite guilty of not lending a helping hand to my department jnr, I decided send him a greeting msg yday to ask how his FYP is getting along. I thought it will surely be a surprise for him, having to receive a msg from someone who he has nv spoken too. And yeps, he replied me yday evening annd surprised me instead by saying " Oh, you are gordon from XXX right? I actually know you since the army, but u din seem to recognise me so i din acknowledge you......."
I felt so malu, even though he was not physically around. I must have talked to too many ppl in camp that I have forgotten each and everyone of them. In fact, I have met up with a few guys at Engin canteen who could recognise me from my army unit, but I was unable to remember them. Despite Simon's effort to revive my memory by saying how we have worked together and communicated in the army, it remains blank in my head. I feel so paiseh..
Haha, my initial intention is to give him a gentle surprise, ended up he gave me a surprise instead..... well, my memory is really failing me. Anyway, its a pleasant surprise for me to be able to catch up with an old aquaintance, despite a 5 yr break.
Monday, December 13, 2004
Poor Management
Recently, I have found a new playground to practise my 2.4km run - Temasek Poly running tracks. Temasek Poly has got very modern facilities, with clean, big, and cosy bathrooms, hot showers, water coolers, free parking lots and most importantly, its jus a few km away from my home.
Every time I am there, I will see diff grps of students engaging in diff sports at various corners of the SRC. There would be a huge group practising rock climbing, a second grp playing soccer, another playing rugby, some practising taekwondo etc. Even the basketball and tennis courts are occupied always without fail. The entire campus is so lively, just like a 'younger version' of NUS. I am glad these students have made good use of their student life to engage in campus activities. These are memories that they will bring along with them 10 or 20 yrs down the road, and not those memories tat they have from lecture halls, tutorial rooms or test/exams etc.
I am already approaching the 8th month of my job, already 2/3 of a year. Still, I found myself v weak in terms of my management skills. Everyday, I will have staff knocking on my door requesting for leave, offs, signing of uniform, boots and other equipment, and I would always sign against the 'approved' columns. A senior foreman feedbacked that I am too soft and easy, that my staffs are taking advantage of me to get what they want.
For instance, I have implemented a rule to all my team leaders that they have to put on their ampulets while wearing their uniform. However, most of them refused to listen, despite my repeated reminders (which I think were too gentle). This morning, i was really fed up when i saw some of them without their ampulets, that I shouted and threatened to issue them warning letters. Finally, all of them quickly obeyed the instructions. Well, must we always resort to using the 'cane' before ppl are willing to listen? Quite contrary to what some of my BS jnrs might have perceived me to be, I actually find it really difficult to raise my voice and become fierce. I was certainly not like tat in the army, perhaps I was more pretentious then and acted garang while commanding my platoon.
While I often reprimand my staff that they shld learn to be more courteous and polite while talking to our customers, a foreman argued that they are 'rough' ppl and cannot be changed. He also argued that asking them to be gentle and polite is jus like asking me to be loud, fierce and commanding. I was speechless........
Every time I am there, I will see diff grps of students engaging in diff sports at various corners of the SRC. There would be a huge group practising rock climbing, a second grp playing soccer, another playing rugby, some practising taekwondo etc. Even the basketball and tennis courts are occupied always without fail. The entire campus is so lively, just like a 'younger version' of NUS. I am glad these students have made good use of their student life to engage in campus activities. These are memories that they will bring along with them 10 or 20 yrs down the road, and not those memories tat they have from lecture halls, tutorial rooms or test/exams etc.
I am already approaching the 8th month of my job, already 2/3 of a year. Still, I found myself v weak in terms of my management skills. Everyday, I will have staff knocking on my door requesting for leave, offs, signing of uniform, boots and other equipment, and I would always sign against the 'approved' columns. A senior foreman feedbacked that I am too soft and easy, that my staffs are taking advantage of me to get what they want.
For instance, I have implemented a rule to all my team leaders that they have to put on their ampulets while wearing their uniform. However, most of them refused to listen, despite my repeated reminders (which I think were too gentle). This morning, i was really fed up when i saw some of them without their ampulets, that I shouted and threatened to issue them warning letters. Finally, all of them quickly obeyed the instructions. Well, must we always resort to using the 'cane' before ppl are willing to listen? Quite contrary to what some of my BS jnrs might have perceived me to be, I actually find it really difficult to raise my voice and become fierce. I was certainly not like tat in the army, perhaps I was more pretentious then and acted garang while commanding my platoon.
While I often reprimand my staff that they shld learn to be more courteous and polite while talking to our customers, a foreman argued that they are 'rough' ppl and cannot be changed. He also argued that asking them to be gentle and polite is jus like asking me to be loud, fierce and commanding. I was speechless........
Sunday, December 12, 2004
First Reject
Monday blue is slowly creeping in again. Nv felt so sian with mondays in life, not even during my army days. And i din even care about weekends during my campus days.. cos everyday was like the same to me.
This evening, I did not visit Mr Lim's place, but meditated at Ven Vissudhacara's place instead. It's a very peaceful and conducive place that I believe most ppl will be able to meditate well. And i contemplated that I am still pretty much involved in the useless worldly means. In other words, I am still wasting precious time. I meditated and saw images of animal fur, belonging either to a wild beast or mabbe a cat. I couldnt see the entire animal, but thought that the colour of the fur resemble that of my hair, which is now dominantly black with tuffs of golden strands concentrated at the front portion. Mabbe I will be reborn an animal next life? Or worse, banish to hell for my bad karma.
Today, I turned down a close friend's request. Its actually quite normal to turn down ppl, but I have NEVER done it to this friend of mine. Although I know that he would not mind or blame me, but I really surprised myself for this decision I made today, as I couldnt believe that I am NOT answering to his request. Perhaps I have over done it in the past. Well, those who know me better will know that I love buying my friends food.
2 more weeks, my eyes will be undergoing the knives, and I realise some of my friends would not be around then - either going for retreats or camps. Hopefully when I meet u guys the next time, I will be specless, if not, do standby me with a walking stick - touch wood!
This evening, I did not visit Mr Lim's place, but meditated at Ven Vissudhacara's place instead. It's a very peaceful and conducive place that I believe most ppl will be able to meditate well. And i contemplated that I am still pretty much involved in the useless worldly means. In other words, I am still wasting precious time. I meditated and saw images of animal fur, belonging either to a wild beast or mabbe a cat. I couldnt see the entire animal, but thought that the colour of the fur resemble that of my hair, which is now dominantly black with tuffs of golden strands concentrated at the front portion. Mabbe I will be reborn an animal next life? Or worse, banish to hell for my bad karma.
Today, I turned down a close friend's request. Its actually quite normal to turn down ppl, but I have NEVER done it to this friend of mine. Although I know that he would not mind or blame me, but I really surprised myself for this decision I made today, as I couldnt believe that I am NOT answering to his request. Perhaps I have over done it in the past. Well, those who know me better will know that I love buying my friends food.
2 more weeks, my eyes will be undergoing the knives, and I realise some of my friends would not be around then - either going for retreats or camps. Hopefully when I meet u guys the next time, I will be specless, if not, do standby me with a walking stick - touch wood!
Forget me Not
It was a humid night that I decided to change into my singlet and put on my running shoes. I have just been posted to a army new unit, allocated to a new bunk and living with new ppl. By right, I shld be feeling extremely light and happy, having to escape from the monstrous claws of my previous superior, and has just been tasked with very simple office work. But I miss my old camp mates, and I decided to jog to my old unit, which was just across the road.
I jogged towards the parade square and stopped directly in front of my company line. I was looking up into the bunks of my previous company mates, wondering what they were doing. They must be busy preparing for the up coming training exercise at Australia. While I was relieved that I would not need to go through the hassle and hardships training in the oversea forests, my ego was pretty hurt that I was not part of the operational force.
As I was staring up into the bunks, an extremely loud and stern voice pierced through the silence from the corner of the second floor: "Gordon!!! Why are you here at his hour!?" It was Cpt Teddy, my OC (army officer commanding), whose voice really freaked me out. "Why are you still in camp on a friday night when you can go home and enjoy? We wanted to go home also cannot!" With that, he gave me a smile after I told him I miss them all. That was the last time I talk to him.
Barely a week before tat nite, I was in the midst of my 6th-day live round firing at the range when my OC suddenly summon me to see him. He told me that my posting to a new unit has been confirmed, and I could stop my range immediately and return back to my company line. My OC has witnessed how much I suffered under my CSM, who forcefully refused to let me 'go' although an official posting has been issued by MINDEF to let me transfer over to a new unit. My OC has also given me the choice on whether I wish to post out or stay back in the unit to serve as his personal assistant. Touched by his gesture, I chose the latter. However, MINDEF eventually made the final decision that I shld go.
Before I packed my stuffs, carried my rifle and was ready to leave them for good, my OC told me to take a week's off to enjoy myself. I couldnt believe my ears as requesting for even a single day off was already like, so difficult and impossible! I told him I did not have that many days in my OFF record to clear, and he immediately brushed me off by saying " aiyah, i say you can go, means you can go, care so much for what? And you dun have to bother about doing the clearance form, i will get the admin specs to help you do!". I was extremely touched and felt indebted to Cpt Teddy. He was like a strong and powerful arm pulling me out of the shxx that I have been embedded for months or almost a year.
2 weeks later after that jogging nite, I was lying on my bed playing with my nokia 6110 when I received a SMS from a S1 branch clerk. "Sgt Gordon, your OC died in an accident in Australia". I was dumbfolded. The next thing I could recall was seeing his parents crying miserably at the funeral wake. Cpt Teddy was sleeping in his coffin, looking pretty miserable, as if he has suffered great pains from hit by the fallen tree trunk. Days later my army mates flew back from australia to hold a military funeral possession for OC. All of them were dressed smartly in the white coloured army No.1 uniform, but tears were flowing from many of the faces. It was an extremely sad scene.
It has been already 5 years since the fateful 11 Dec 2004. Every year in NUS, I would look forward to the arrival of 11 Dec, which most of the time I would be trapped in the chilly cen lib mugging for exams. Weeks before the date, I would start SMSing everyone to remind them of this date to visit my OC's grave. But I duno why that I actually forgotten about it this year! Fortunately, another camp mate reminded me of the visit few days ago.
My OC has gone forever. And I am glad to see his mother getting more cheerful each year. Life is so unpredictable indeed.
PS: Thanks OWY and Sohan for helping me to wash my car today!
I jogged towards the parade square and stopped directly in front of my company line. I was looking up into the bunks of my previous company mates, wondering what they were doing. They must be busy preparing for the up coming training exercise at Australia. While I was relieved that I would not need to go through the hassle and hardships training in the oversea forests, my ego was pretty hurt that I was not part of the operational force.
As I was staring up into the bunks, an extremely loud and stern voice pierced through the silence from the corner of the second floor: "Gordon!!! Why are you here at his hour!?" It was Cpt Teddy, my OC (army officer commanding), whose voice really freaked me out. "Why are you still in camp on a friday night when you can go home and enjoy? We wanted to go home also cannot!" With that, he gave me a smile after I told him I miss them all. That was the last time I talk to him.
Barely a week before tat nite, I was in the midst of my 6th-day live round firing at the range when my OC suddenly summon me to see him. He told me that my posting to a new unit has been confirmed, and I could stop my range immediately and return back to my company line. My OC has witnessed how much I suffered under my CSM, who forcefully refused to let me 'go' although an official posting has been issued by MINDEF to let me transfer over to a new unit. My OC has also given me the choice on whether I wish to post out or stay back in the unit to serve as his personal assistant. Touched by his gesture, I chose the latter. However, MINDEF eventually made the final decision that I shld go.
Before I packed my stuffs, carried my rifle and was ready to leave them for good, my OC told me to take a week's off to enjoy myself. I couldnt believe my ears as requesting for even a single day off was already like, so difficult and impossible! I told him I did not have that many days in my OFF record to clear, and he immediately brushed me off by saying " aiyah, i say you can go, means you can go, care so much for what? And you dun have to bother about doing the clearance form, i will get the admin specs to help you do!". I was extremely touched and felt indebted to Cpt Teddy. He was like a strong and powerful arm pulling me out of the shxx that I have been embedded for months or almost a year.
2 weeks later after that jogging nite, I was lying on my bed playing with my nokia 6110 when I received a SMS from a S1 branch clerk. "Sgt Gordon, your OC died in an accident in Australia". I was dumbfolded. The next thing I could recall was seeing his parents crying miserably at the funeral wake. Cpt Teddy was sleeping in his coffin, looking pretty miserable, as if he has suffered great pains from hit by the fallen tree trunk. Days later my army mates flew back from australia to hold a military funeral possession for OC. All of them were dressed smartly in the white coloured army No.1 uniform, but tears were flowing from many of the faces. It was an extremely sad scene.
It has been already 5 years since the fateful 11 Dec 2004. Every year in NUS, I would look forward to the arrival of 11 Dec, which most of the time I would be trapped in the chilly cen lib mugging for exams. Weeks before the date, I would start SMSing everyone to remind them of this date to visit my OC's grave. But I duno why that I actually forgotten about it this year! Fortunately, another camp mate reminded me of the visit few days ago.
My OC has gone forever. And I am glad to see his mother getting more cheerful each year. Life is so unpredictable indeed.
PS: Thanks OWY and Sohan for helping me to wash my car today!
Saturday, December 11, 2004
New Couple from NUSBS
NUSBS camps were once well known to be good breeding grounds to produce lovebirds or 'couples', whatever you wish to call it.
In bs foc2000, at least 2-3 couples were formed among the camp organiser/sub-coms etc. In Dharma camp 2000, another 2 couples were born. In Dharma camp 2001, 2 more couples were born. However in DC2003, there was an exception, probably becos fenny separated out the male campers from the female ones in groupings :S And yeah, she really did that for the camp participants except the organisers.
In Dharma Camp 2004, I din really get to hear anything until this evening, I spotted a couple in town, and I couldnt believe my eyes. Either:
1) The love bud took very long to blossom (almost 1 yr since Dharma camp 2003)
2) They are too good in concealing their relationship that none or only few ppl know
3) A lot of ppl already know they are together except me, i am the suaku
I am supposed to feel happy for them, but I actually feel nothing except for a shock. Probably I have witnessed many couples breaking up, esp those from nusbs, that I dun see it as something positive. Anyway, I still have to congratulate them on their new found (or long founded) relationship... afterall, everything is impermanent right?
不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有
In bs foc2000, at least 2-3 couples were formed among the camp organiser/sub-coms etc. In Dharma camp 2000, another 2 couples were born. In Dharma camp 2001, 2 more couples were born. However in DC2003, there was an exception, probably becos fenny separated out the male campers from the female ones in groupings :S And yeah, she really did that for the camp participants except the organisers.
In Dharma Camp 2004, I din really get to hear anything until this evening, I spotted a couple in town, and I couldnt believe my eyes. Either:
1) The love bud took very long to blossom (almost 1 yr since Dharma camp 2003)
2) They are too good in concealing their relationship that none or only few ppl know
3) A lot of ppl already know they are together except me, i am the suaku
I am supposed to feel happy for them, but I actually feel nothing except for a shock. Probably I have witnessed many couples breaking up, esp those from nusbs, that I dun see it as something positive. Anyway, I still have to congratulate them on their new found (or long founded) relationship... afterall, everything is impermanent right?
不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有
Thursday, December 09, 2004
断了线
Announcement:
1) Songgechan's blog is up again, with a very neat layout.
2) ae2004's blog had a new skin today, but it seems to turn nuts now.
Few minutes ago, I received a surprise phone call from one of the BS juniors. In fact, he is a freshman from engineering, and I thought its quite interesting that I can still link up with the current yr1s when I am already out from NUS. Thats v nice of him to call up for a chat, and I really very seldom chat on phones.
This jnr told me he is getting quite bored in the hols, and as he had ever heard me talking abt spending time meaningfully while as a student, he asked me wat are the activities he can participate in. Well well..... I told him to grab a C programming book, download a C program and start playing around with it at home :)
And back to the topic on phone calls, I was in NTU few days ago as I started scrolling my handphone contact list. I came across 2 names, whom I used to call and sms very often when i was in the army, but havent contacted for at least 2-3 yrs. One of them is my 'brother' who often tagged along with me in the camp. The other was my 'designated' driver, who would often drive me around to dispatch documents all around singapore army camps, or to fetch recruits to my unit.
Having not contacted them for at least 2-3yrs, I decided to send SMS greetings to them. And noooo, i did not get any reply from them. They must have probably changed their phone numbers, awww... thats the problem of not making effort to keep in touch with old friends. I could have lost them forever.
Well, there seem to be a serious lack in human touch lately. I am stil glad i am part of the golden era.
1) Songgechan's blog is up again, with a very neat layout.
2) ae2004's blog had a new skin today, but it seems to turn nuts now.
Few minutes ago, I received a surprise phone call from one of the BS juniors. In fact, he is a freshman from engineering, and I thought its quite interesting that I can still link up with the current yr1s when I am already out from NUS. Thats v nice of him to call up for a chat, and I really very seldom chat on phones.
This jnr told me he is getting quite bored in the hols, and as he had ever heard me talking abt spending time meaningfully while as a student, he asked me wat are the activities he can participate in. Well well..... I told him to grab a C programming book, download a C program and start playing around with it at home :)
And back to the topic on phone calls, I was in NTU few days ago as I started scrolling my handphone contact list. I came across 2 names, whom I used to call and sms very often when i was in the army, but havent contacted for at least 2-3 yrs. One of them is my 'brother' who often tagged along with me in the camp. The other was my 'designated' driver, who would often drive me around to dispatch documents all around singapore army camps, or to fetch recruits to my unit.
Having not contacted them for at least 2-3yrs, I decided to send SMS greetings to them. And noooo, i did not get any reply from them. They must have probably changed their phone numbers, awww... thats the problem of not making effort to keep in touch with old friends. I could have lost them forever.
Well, there seem to be a serious lack in human touch lately. I am stil glad i am part of the golden era.
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Monday, December 06, 2004
Same Ans to Same Qn
Recently, spent abt $500 odd on wedding red packets, awww.....
This evening, I attended a wedding dinner - my dad's cousin's son's wedding. As expected, I get to meet many of my aunties, uncles, grandaunts, granduncles and many many more of my dad's cousins etc. And I have been asked the following questions at least 3 to 4 times:
1) When is your turn to invite me to your wedding?
Ans: Not so soon la..
2) Got steady gf already right?
Ans: No, dun have
3) Har? Cannot be lah! I dun believe...
Ans: yayaya~~~~
Well, somebody ever shared this tip with me on how to answer these relatives:
Every year or everytime they meet you, they will ask you these same questions. So its so simple, always reply back the same answers lah!
This evening, I attended a wedding dinner - my dad's cousin's son's wedding. As expected, I get to meet many of my aunties, uncles, grandaunts, granduncles and many many more of my dad's cousins etc. And I have been asked the following questions at least 3 to 4 times:
1) When is your turn to invite me to your wedding?
Ans: Not so soon la..
2) Got steady gf already right?
Ans: No, dun have
3) Har? Cannot be lah! I dun believe...
Ans: yayaya~~~~
Well, somebody ever shared this tip with me on how to answer these relatives:
Every year or everytime they meet you, they will ask you these same questions. So its so simple, always reply back the same answers lah!
Sunday, December 05, 2004
Transient
Every part of us is transient - be it our mind or body. Whatever teachings I am now agreeing fully, appreciating deeply and strongly encouraging others to follow, may be just valid as for 'now'.
Din you ever encounter certain phases of your life, when you were so sure about something and insisting on its validity, only to laugh at yourself how foolish you were when you did a reflection on it after 5 yrs down the road? But thats the process of growing, I guess.
This is probably why my blog has been gradually transformed into more of a daily reporting diary, recollection of my daily affairs, occasional jotting down of some interesting experiences and encounters, placing reflections to a minimum (here i change again!). I realised that the more I 'write' or 'say' on my reflections, the more 'doctrinised' i become, cos it often doesn come along with my daily practices.
The danger of becoming 'theoretical buddhist'.
Din you ever encounter certain phases of your life, when you were so sure about something and insisting on its validity, only to laugh at yourself how foolish you were when you did a reflection on it after 5 yrs down the road? But thats the process of growing, I guess.
This is probably why my blog has been gradually transformed into more of a daily reporting diary, recollection of my daily affairs, occasional jotting down of some interesting experiences and encounters, placing reflections to a minimum (here i change again!). I realised that the more I 'write' or 'say' on my reflections, the more 'doctrinised' i become, cos it often doesn come along with my daily practices.
The danger of becoming 'theoretical buddhist'.
Saturday, December 04, 2004
I wish to sing a song for you
I thought the song which i use for my background music is very interesting.
Title : Wu Ke Qun
Singer: Wu Ke Qun
The song is name after the singer, who imitated several well known singers like A-do, Andy Lau, Fei Yu Qing, Jay Chou etc. I wud say for certain singers, his imitaton is almost perfect.
Moreover, the lyrics is simple, non-mushy and sincere. Very suitable to sing to our friends or love ones - I wish to sing a song for you, using my own voice, although I am not Eason Chan.
And nope, I do not own the album, neither did i manage to download the song from the net. I merely linked my blog to a 'sample testing' website.
Title : Wu Ke Qun
Singer: Wu Ke Qun
The song is name after the singer, who imitated several well known singers like A-do, Andy Lau, Fei Yu Qing, Jay Chou etc. I wud say for certain singers, his imitaton is almost perfect.
Moreover, the lyrics is simple, non-mushy and sincere. Very suitable to sing to our friends or love ones - I wish to sing a song for you, using my own voice, although I am not Eason Chan.
And nope, I do not own the album, neither did i manage to download the song from the net. I merely linked my blog to a 'sample testing' website.
Contamination of the Beauty
Its a beautiful, peaceful and fresh morning, with invigorating air filling up the entire NTU campus. Driving along the avenues, I see hostelites strolling casually along the pavements, clad in comfortable t shirts and shorts. Its like a big holiday ground, with everyone in a relaxing mood. However, mine was soon tainted by the disharmony at home, with my mum complaining to me the moment i stepped into my home.
That is why I dun like to stay at home, but I cant escape for too long too. Its a very heavy burden to bear, more of emotionally than financially.
My manager told me yday that he may be leaving the company soon. He is already on the stage of negotiating his pay with another company. That explains why he has been eagerly helping to fight for pay rise and bonuses, his last effort to help me before he is no longer around.
While his departure from the company is definitely a BAD news for me, I am feeling more happy for him than sad for myself. I really think he needs to go already, having stayed five yrs in his current job. No matter how good the pay, bonuses and benefits he is given here, complacency shld not get over our head and he shld proceed on in life to learn more new stuffs.
Arghh... once he leaves, I will be suffering. Either I have to take over all his job scope (not his designation or pay), or I will be working under a new boss, who definitely doesn know much abt our company but has to sap on me.... Another push factor for me to quit my job fast and pursue my masters.
Kici, when u wanna visit the cemeteries again?
That is why I dun like to stay at home, but I cant escape for too long too. Its a very heavy burden to bear, more of emotionally than financially.
My manager told me yday that he may be leaving the company soon. He is already on the stage of negotiating his pay with another company. That explains why he has been eagerly helping to fight for pay rise and bonuses, his last effort to help me before he is no longer around.
While his departure from the company is definitely a BAD news for me, I am feeling more happy for him than sad for myself. I really think he needs to go already, having stayed five yrs in his current job. No matter how good the pay, bonuses and benefits he is given here, complacency shld not get over our head and he shld proceed on in life to learn more new stuffs.
Arghh... once he leaves, I will be suffering. Either I have to take over all his job scope (not his designation or pay), or I will be working under a new boss, who definitely doesn know much abt our company but has to sap on me.... Another push factor for me to quit my job fast and pursue my masters.
Kici, when u wanna visit the cemeteries again?
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
Company Brawl
There has been quite a number of commotions happening at my workplace.
1) A technician, after being ticked off by my manager and me, ran away from work. He was admitted to IMH this morning :s I dun feel sorry for him, call me heartless or whatever, but there shldnt be any compromising in work attitude.
2) There are 8 admin ladies seated directly outside my office, directly under my charge. Their age range is from late 20s to early 40s. I do not really interact much with them except for the 2 coordinators. I thought I was lucky cos these ladies do not give me much problems among themselves, although i have heard of some under currents going around. However the hell finally break loose... one of them barged into my office angrily to complain the other. The next moment, the other one came in to complain the earlier one. Ladies.......pls give me some peace....
3) There is a young and very beautiful graduate gal at my work place is very popular, esp among the guys. A lot of ppl praise her for being very competent and commended her on her soft skills. She is in charged of preparing ppt slides for a presentation today. This morning, another female colleague rushed into my office, asking me to help her make some last min changes to a presentation slide, and then use my PC to send it over to the first gal. As the presentation is this afternoon, the first gal got very frustrated and reprimanded me via email for 'always being so last minute'.
I felt wronged as i was merely helping someone else to do the work, plus i have never made any 'last minute request' from her before. In addition to the stress I was under having to rush out a report by today, I ticked her off in my reply and mass mail to those big shots who were responsible for the last min changes.
"Aiya.... i din know he take it so personally mah" was her reply to another colleauge. Bullshit la! Other guys may suck up to you and take your nonsense, but NOT me! But I know i am of no match to her in the company, cos everyone, both guys and gals, like pretty gals and fend for them.............
Damm sian
1) A technician, after being ticked off by my manager and me, ran away from work. He was admitted to IMH this morning :s I dun feel sorry for him, call me heartless or whatever, but there shldnt be any compromising in work attitude.
2) There are 8 admin ladies seated directly outside my office, directly under my charge. Their age range is from late 20s to early 40s. I do not really interact much with them except for the 2 coordinators. I thought I was lucky cos these ladies do not give me much problems among themselves, although i have heard of some under currents going around. However the hell finally break loose... one of them barged into my office angrily to complain the other. The next moment, the other one came in to complain the earlier one. Ladies.......pls give me some peace....
3) There is a young and very beautiful graduate gal at my work place is very popular, esp among the guys. A lot of ppl praise her for being very competent and commended her on her soft skills. She is in charged of preparing ppt slides for a presentation today. This morning, another female colleague rushed into my office, asking me to help her make some last min changes to a presentation slide, and then use my PC to send it over to the first gal. As the presentation is this afternoon, the first gal got very frustrated and reprimanded me via email for 'always being so last minute'.
I felt wronged as i was merely helping someone else to do the work, plus i have never made any 'last minute request' from her before. In addition to the stress I was under having to rush out a report by today, I ticked her off in my reply and mass mail to those big shots who were responsible for the last min changes.
"Aiya.... i din know he take it so personally mah" was her reply to another colleauge. Bullshit la! Other guys may suck up to you and take your nonsense, but NOT me! But I know i am of no match to her in the company, cos everyone, both guys and gals, like pretty gals and fend for them.............
Damm sian
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