Karma Ghost

Last evening, I was at Sohan's pgp room watching "Karma Ghost", a flash clip introduced by smallbro ong. I am nv a huge fans of animations or cartoons, but this clip is really interesting and caught me captivated. I shall not reveal too much and let you watch it by yourself. OWY, u may like to provide the URL in my comment box to let them enjoy it.

Lately, I get to confront closely with this fact, that there are indeed several things which are very beneficial for us to do and follow, and yet we arent doing them. Similarly, there are many things which we shldnt do, and yet we still do them. But dun get me wrong, I am not refering to something general, like: "I know I shld meditate and keep the five precepts well but how come i am not doing them." Its something slightly more specific and subtle...

Last saturday evening during my CMC sitting, I was once again expecting myself to see the 'nimitta'. I was hoping to see some bright lights and also kept recalling some images which I have seen before. Perhaps sub-conciously, I was setting a benchmark for myself - 1)If i am able to see those images again, it means tat i have neither improved nor deproved. 2)If i am unable tosee those images, it means I have deproved. 3)If i am able to see even more images, it means I have improved!

All the while for samatha meditation, we have been told to focus diligently on our breaths, and not the nimitta (at least so not when our concentration is still weak). In other words, working & training on mindfuless and concentration are most important to us, not the nimitta yet. That evening, I deeply reflected on this fact, and immediately dropped off my habouring thoughts for nimitta. I thought: Its time to get smart and work on whats best for myself, so stop wasting time on something unneccesary. I had a pretty meaningful meditation session.

Also, I get to appreciate slightly more on the essence of buddhism on 'no self'. Its often the idea of 'self' that made us suffer, be it when ppl complain abt: Nobody cares for me, Nobody understands me, Others are not being fair to me, I am losing out to others, Why are ppl better than me? Why I fail to get this and that? ..... As the list of 'me' and 'I' gets longer, our sufferings grow larger and more intensive.

If we choose to walk the bodhisattva path, our focus and aim in life shld be helping all sentient beings. So does it still matter whether its Me, You, Him or Her?