Its ugly

Right from the start, my stand has been firm. I never fancy the idea of working in the MNC. But somehow life is like a joke - the more u yearn for something, the less likely u will get it ; and the less u want something, the more likely u r goin to get it.

And yes, I did fight hard in the interview sessions to get this job, but seriously, its NO big deal. I was asked by some old BS friends for my namecards during Nale's wedding. I told them i din bring along any with me, cos i dun feel proud of my job ... and i meant it. I need the job simply for survival.

My big boss had a chat with me on 'job performances' today. She was very concerned with my progress as a new-comer and told me tat individual's advancement in the company is purely on performance-based. Seriously speaking, i really dread the idea of having to constantly work ultra hard to impress the bosses. Its like an ignorant fool riding on a merry-go-round. You spent the entire of your life chasing for something that you dun really need at the end of the day(life).

i am definitely far toooo green to talk abt promotions in my company. But i really take pity for some of my snrs, whom in my opinion, are definitely much more knowledgeable and diligent than those who got their promotions. But wat they lack is the 'visibility' and the energy to fight to impress the bosses. And tats exactly the culture here - you fight for wat u want. Its a fair game.....

Having to study almost 20 yrs, what i have been doing is not much different, yet i cant say exactly similar. I competed with my sch mates to acheive good grades of exams, esp in NUS, which works in the bell-jar curve manner. The idea of scoring is - to know what your course mates duno. Haha.

But working life is more cruel. Using others as ur stepping stone is not uncommon. Study depends v much on oneself but climbing up the corporate ladder involves much more on how u deal and handle other ppl. Sux, i really dun wanna be involved in such a game. Its ugly.