Last saturday, I felt very bored in my office and decided to print out out some photographs using the given HP printer. I have been told that my office looked very bare and dull, and many suggested i place some decorations. So these photos would come in handy. Unfortunately, a few of my colleagues came in and commented I am 'hao lian' jokingly. To me, these graduation/commencement photos are just photos and I have no intention of showing off I am a graduate. I believe everyone who read my blog are either graduates or undergraduate themselves too, so you will know how I feel. Anyway, I will not remove them unless I really got sick of them myself.
Last evening, I chatted with 2 gals - one of them is my colleague (Jen) and the other is a gal (Jan) i acquainted from the internet (oh yeah, their names are really quite close). Both of them are troubled by love.
Jen met 'the guy' again last evening in town and she couldnt help but feel her heart sinking. This guy is a married man but was seen last evening with another 'new gal'. Well, love can really make the wise blind. Jen is a graduate just like myself but unknowingly she fell into his trap. It has been almost a year but she still find it very difficult to let go.
I tried to explain to her on attachments, and also to avoid producing those conditions that will make her miss him more - answering his phone calls, going out with him, SMSing him etc. She thought my these were great ideas.
Jan was more jialat. She was still unable to get over her ex-bf whom she broke up one yr ago too. To make the matter worse, she is still harbouring hatred and sore feelings towards the guy. Like what Kalden said : Love (bgr) often leads to posessiveness, which subsequently lead to selfishness and hatreds.
I tried to explain to her on the 2nd noble truth that its due to our attachments and cravings that lead to her sufferings. But she insisted that love without attachments is not called love, and loving someone without any attachment for that someone is being unfair to that someone :s The discussion got more tensed up as both parties tried to argue their way through.
I recalled the very much given advice that when I am unable to take care of my own emotions, its better that I dun try to handle or help others first. While I clearly see that she may not be that ready to accept the 'teachings', I was very eager to 'correct' her misconceptions on love (which she said attachment is compulsory), and to stop her from continuing to suffer more by having such wrongful thoughts. I was once again reminded of the adverse effects of being over-eagerly in sharing the 'Dharma'.
1) Thee ego in trying to correct others and instil what i know onto others
2) The over-eagerness in trying to get others out of the sufferings
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