那女孩对我说

那女孩对我说 说我保护她的梦
说这个世界 对她这样的不多

她渐渐忘了我 但是她并不晓得
遍体鳞伤的我 一天也没再爱过

那女孩对我说 说我是一个小偷
偷她的回忆 塞进我的脑海中

我不需要自由 只想背着她的梦
一步步向前走 她给的永远不重

The process of recovery is interesting. Throughout the 2 months, I observe much changes in myself be it physically or emotionally. New thoughts arise every now and then which supersede the previous ones. Old reasonings are no longer valid in assuring my unrest mind as I constantly seek new reasonings and justifications.

At the end of the day, I am just glad to have friends who can understand how I feel. They are a bonus to me. There are also friends who got upset and frustrated with me. Whilst I do appreciate their kindness, I do not see the need to rebut or refute my feelings, since they are really true from my heart. Its really beyond my control.

Over the past month or so, I may have succeeded in controlling myself physically ie. To stop calling her, smsing her and asking her out to meet her. But the heart hasn’t reached a closure yet. The heart still thinks that she will call me one day, we will meet up one day , we shall remain as good friends etc. The door remains open.

But now, I am forced to the door. And the door slammed hard on my face with the heart-wrenching fact tt she has changed her hp num, and no longer wish to be in contact with me. The hopes, which were once hanging high up there, smashed hard onto the ground and mercilessly shattered into pieces.

Yes, I have finally reached the door, and the door has closed. I need to turn around, and carry on walking my life.