4 pts

1) I spent abt 2 hrs this afternoon performing some 'wonders' on my Partner. I was trying to convert it such that the interior is now closer to that of a private car. Wanna make a guess? Anyway, its only half completed. Well, i will take some pics mabbe tmr and post them here.

2) I think Superstar Wei Lian's voice is really enchanting. Happened to hear his singings during the charity show, simply marvellous. On the other hand, the song 'Tong Hua' has been over-played over the radio recently.. and i really cant distinguish which singer sang it... as they all sound almost similar to me.. damm disgusting.

3) Thanks to Houldy who verified that the places I visited yday were indeed our Sispec torpo training groundss. From the pics i took, he could recognise some of the structures (chop plus guarantee, he claimed!), great! I guess there were much less army trainings at these places nowadays esp after Sispec has shifted to Tekong. On the other, i believe there are more visitors from the public in recent yrs.

4) I have included more links to my Singapore Nature Exploration mini gallery to the side bar of my blog. Feel free to enjoy it!

In love with the Reservoirs

This morn, i decided to set off in search of my 'dream' place which i lost 7yrs ago, after doing intensive research on maps, related websites and google earth. I used the HSBC trail from Venus park (not the metal road but a recently opened trail) where a kampung once stood. Came across a few streams and this bridge.


Travelled along Terantang Trail + SimeTrack + Golf link and came to this 2nd stream. The water is crystal clear and most likely to be drinkable.


Finally reached this super long water structure (>100 m long) which i suspect was the entry to my 'dream' place. But the drainage structure I took 7 yrs ago was like much cleaner? I took no time to climb up.


Hmm.. i could smell tat a reservoir was nearby...


And yessss!!!!! I found it! The overflow of upper pierce reservoir!!!



Superbly nice right? Though not 100% sure, but i strongly believe this was exactly the glass patch which i was once stole a nap with my buddy during our Sispec torpo in 1998. A nice place for nap + picnic + enjoy the scenery, but i wonder since how long ago did anyone last landed his foot here. Super tough place to find.


Under-the-Tree-top-walk - luckily there is no gal on the bridge






Made my way to seletar reservoir. Though its much more accessible than Upper Pierce, the scenery and atmosphere are comparable. A peaceful and relaxing afternoon to spend by the waterside. Anybody wants to join me next time?

In search of Mosquito Ring

This baby is so cute right? Hooo......

Argh, now i feel my attachment is so strong - attachment to places, rather than to people. Now, I am missing this place so much, but the problem is i duno where exactly this place is located in Singapore.

It happened in 1998 when i had my Sispec torpo somewhere in the central nature reserves. The 3-tonner we took from the camp was travelling along one of the expressways when it suddenly cut into a small dirt path (not opened to the public), travelled a bit more, before we dismounted from it. I was in my army no.4, wearing my SBO, kevalar helmet, carrying my rifle + a compass + a map miserably and loosely hang onto my side trousers pocket. The only name i can recall now was our form-up-point, called the Mosquito Ring.

The soldiers were soon dispersed and allowed to venture around the forested areas to search for checkpts. My buddy and i were lucky enough to have found our checkpts, and hence we took our leisure time to stroll around the forested grounds. We came upon a small knoll, mounted it and soon found ourselves by the side of a water body. The grass patches were around the water was so inviting that we took no time to lie flat down to take a nap. Tat must be the most peaceful and serene moments i ever had in life - probably greatly amplified due to the tiredness and fatigues i received in the super siong army training.

As we were afraid of being caught, we took the nap not more than an hr before we proceeded on with our torpoing. I did not return to the place for the rest of the mission, and i nv thought i wud get the chance to re-visit the place again. After a long 7 yrs, i suddenly feel that i miss this place a lot - but i duno where it is :(

I tried to surf the web for more info, and found out that the 'Mosquito Ring' was actually a named GPRS location in Singapore, located near the Juletong Tower (a place which i hav visited a few times recently!) I tried to use google earth to search for any possible spots, but the Central Catchment area is simply too big. I could only narrow down the possibilities by searching for dirt paths which could be potentially the one the 3-tonner took to fetch us in.

I squeezed my brain juices almost dry, and i could only come out with a few more names :
1) SAF Checkpoints : Town, Rose, Exit
2) SISPEC Ex. Gypsy
3) SISPEC Ex. Wanderer

Any ex-sispec or ocs guys out there can recall the above names? Pls kindly tell me if you know which place i was refering to. . help!

Take challenges positively

I have this christian friend whom i know from a buddhist society camp ( i know it sounds contradictory). Anyway, my focus is not abt her religious background but rather, her working style and confidence. A few of us have always taken her as our role model as she often impresses us with her views of life and ways of handling matters. I have a short chat with her lately on MSN, and she gave me this golden advice:

Take challenges positively

I was initially feeling v perplexed and sian over some work matters but upon recalling her advice, i got a sudden surge in my morale. Within a short time, i managed to come up with a mini proposal and some ideas which i will try using to solve my issues tmr. Having the right mentality is so crucial in life.

Many friends have asked me what exactly i do at work. Its hard to explain, but basically i am supporting the building of new notebooks, setting up the material structures, overseeing the launching and finally, sustaining them and ensuring their quality in the market. Most ppl wud have belittled the sustaining part, but from the business pt of view, sustaining a product shld be one of the most crucial area. This is to win the trust of customers and to continue keeping up the good name of the company brand.

I wud like to link this idea to NUSBS. As spoken to OWY over dinner jus now, i feel that sustaining and retaining the members in the society is very crucial but often neglected. Its not easy for to get new-comers to the society, despite much efforts have been done on marketing and publicity. Besides the buddhist teachings itself, i believe its the bondage, the spiritual friendship, the sense of belonging, that help to keep and retain the members in the society.

Besides myself (call me BHB or thick-skin), i have seen how a few fellow bs friends have spent efforts in extending their friendships to the members of the society - who eventually become very active and prominent members of the society. I believe we did all these not becos we wanna enlarge our society membership, neither were we hungry for helpers or supports, but all in the name of wanting more ppl to get in touch with the Dharma.

But something contradictory i notice over the past few yrs - while many of us were so active and busy in organising buddhist activities to bring Dharma closer to the campus community, how many of us actually have spent the equal amt of energy and drive to similarly bring Dharma closer to our own family members, friends and lecture mates? I know some of them did, but not many.

Tampines Lake

Back track a bit.. actually Sacredrose and Houldy know each other, but dun think they realise it. Well, I shall remain it as a secret for the 2 of them, wahaha.

Oh yeah, the pic above is Tampines Lake aka Tampines Quarry! The pic is not taken by me but from the fishesnpets website. I have not been to the quarry myself, although I have been reading abt it on forums. There were ppl suggesting it as a peaceful and quiet place to do a perfect sun-tanning. Most imptly, this place is highly accessible! It is separated from Bedok Reservoir just by a road - meaning its located just by the road!

The funny thing is that I have been travelling along this road for the past 1 yr when i used to work at Loyang. Nv did i realise there is this huge pool of waters by my side, as the tall grasses by the road were blocking my view. Yes, i will be visiting it real soon.

Houldy once wrote in his blog: Never come to work at HP unless you feel you can work like a BULL.

Am i right, houldy?

Yes, he is right, haha. So Sacredrose, you sure you wanna come?

Haha.. well, actually different depts and diff bosses and diff job scopes really matter a lot. And it really depends how u view the matters altogether.

I really feel myself being stretched beyond my expected limited. The incentive tat holds me back is definitely NOT the $$$, but the experience i can gain from my struggles. I am also glad that i have a lot of seniors around to provide general guidiance, although they cant really help me much in my job cos its too specific. But being specific also means tat ONLY you know the job well upside down, nobody else, not even your boss. Most imptly, it must be something transferable (to another job).

But back thinking to my pay...arggh. .its so miserable! The amt of work done doesnt match the pay i am getting!

Kelong Kelong...

I have a very fruitful day today. This morning, barry and I drove to MacRitchie for kayaking. Unfortunately, the area which we are allowed to kayak is pathetically limited. Moreover, the water didnt look very clean + the place was very crowded with many youngsters having their canoe trainings. On top of that, the place was also packed with joggers and ppl strolling by the boardwalks. Shucks, tats not wat we wanted...

In the end, we came back to Bedok Reservoir for kayaking. The place was much less crowded and the water is also clearer. In fact, we were the only 2 ppl who kayak + a few canoeists + a team of dragon boaters. V nice cooling weather + breeze + greenery + calming waters . A very good way to spend a lazy and peaceful sunday morning (minus the fact tat the kayak rental is rather steep at $15/hr).

Afternoon, I joined my colleague for our Singapore exploration. We decided to try the north-eastern coasts of Changi. Unfortunately, the heavy showers hit on us and we spent abt 1hr ++ at the famous Loyang Tua Pek Kong Temple, which oversee the old cammando jetty. My colleague and I spared no time in reminscing our army days as tats exactly the jetty which we took RPL/ferry from Singapore mainland to P.Tekong.

Every saturday noon, many happy faces could be seen hopping off from the RPLs/ferries at the jetty, cos its book out time! On the contrary for Sunday evenings, the place would be filled with super low moraled recruits who would look at one another with the typical sullen and sian face. Everyone knew at heart tat once they board the RPLs at the jetty to tekong, they wud need to wait for another 1 full week b4 they could go back home again.

The next place we visited were the old colonial houses at the extreme end of Changi. We climbed up a v old but grand abandoned building which we later found out was the old commando jetty. We later moved on to the beach where a newly 2km boardwalk was erected along the coastline. The above pic was taken in a heavy rain at the Kelong Trail. Ppl must be wondering why these 2 cuckoos were walking with umbrellas under the heavy rain along the boardwalk, haha.

I am v glad the Singapore Govt is investing a lot of money to bring the nature closer to ppl. A lot of money has been spent on building boardwalks and opening up some highly inaccessible places to nature and park lovers.

The drop in the COE prices is very ridiculous lately. My brother, dad and even my mum, were encouraging me to change to a new car (cos they feel my partner is still afterall, a van + i paid almost the same amt of road tax, insurance and exactly the same carpark costs minus the fuel prices diff). I went to some car showrooms today to take a walk. And WOWs! I got a shock of my life seeing how low the car prices are:

1) Toyota Vios costs only $49,888 now whereas it cost 63K during the time when i bought my Partner.

2) Toyota Altis is only $58, 500, and my bro paid 74K for it when he bought in mid 2004.

3) Nissan Latio is priced at $58, 500, more than 12K cheaper than when it was just launched early this yr.

4) The winner goes to............ Nissan Sunny! Priced at $47,500!!! This car used to cost $110,000 in 2000, dropped to $80K in 2003 , $60K in 2004 , $55K early this yr and finally to the current price. And its a fully japan-made car, unlike the Toyotas and some Hondas.

But am i going to spend on a new car? Well, i admit i did harbour such a thot (if not i wudnt visit the car showrooms today). After some financial calculations, I realised i only need to spend abt $100 more per mth compared to now to change to a new car, but.......... i am going to suffer a huge loss of 18K for my Partner. I take a good look at my partner. Its still new, it meets my purpose ... why do i wanna change it anyway? The thought of buying a new car was instantly killed, for now.

But i couldnt quite tahan a msn conversation i had with a friend (who once had a craving of buying a car) jus now:

om: Hey the car prices are v low now, the xxx cost $xxx, yyy cost only $yyy!!! R u considering?
zc: Nope. I dun think u shld buy, u gonna suffer a huge loss for ur old car!
om: U buy a new car cheap, u r expected to sell ur old car cheap wat... where got ppl buy car earn $ one?
zc: Then where does ur savings come into pic?
om: Well, the amt of 'loss' suffered for changing a car is always there, but the amt of money u pay every mth for a new car is significantly much lower than before, understand?
zc: You are WRONG! I feel if u take taxi everyday u will save more, why bother to buy a car?

This was the trigger pt....damm..

om: Well if tats the case, why did u always ask me to go pick u up from ur home whenever we go for supper or meet ups? Why did u always lobang my car home from sch last time?
zc: cos i wanna spend constructive time chatting with u mah...... . (super lame)
zc: okie la, go buy la, hurry hurry!!! (siao ah, i nv commit so easily one okie?)
zc: as long as u r happy... everyone has his own preference and choose his own lifestyle
om: of cos... agree agree... respect each other and make sure we dun try to control other ppl's life can liao, isnt it? (i said this to suan him for the loss of his gf. She left him cos she complained he has been trying to control and change her life too much).

Sounds v bitchy? Haha. . i think i am going to blog more like xiaxxxe which is definitely something i dun want. This friend is actually v much like me.. we have v limited mudita for others.

I am currently feeling very perplexed with my 60++ work mails, left uncleared cos i didnt go to work today. I am quite amazed tat i actually have the energy to write and comment abt bs last nite -something which i havent done so for so long, cos i have no time and no energy for it.

Anyway, lets put away the work issue and pen down something interesting for me today. I didnt report to work, not becos i took leave, but becos i have to attend my company orientation round 2 program. Its a full day program where all new hires (those hired within last 3-5mths) from various depts would gather for fun + interaction + food + some further info loading sessions. And the day began like this:

1) There were 9 tables of seats available and i chose table 6. And out of so many tables, this Guy A chose to join me at my table. I found him v familiar looking, but later concluded tat he merely looks like my neighbour

2)We did a v brief short self-intro, and didnt talk much later. The facilitator soon took over the session and re-arrange our sittings. We were arrange to diff tables.

3) Lunch time came and we had random sittings. Coincidentally, we happened to sit on the same table again. This time, we chatted more, and we realised both of us stay in bedok and came from the same primary school (but diff batches).

4) Guy A told my colleague tat there s actually a private shuttle svc tat ferries ppl from bedok to our company premise. My colleague was interested in the svc, and planned to get the ferry svc contact number from him after the orientation session.

5) Orientation program ended, and all of us went home on separate ways. My colleague SMSed later in the evening if i remembered Guy A' s name, as she has forgotten to ask him for the contact info. I told her i only remember his name as "Michael", but probably could trace his full name from the mass mail which was sent out for this orientation prog.

6) Unfortunately, I have deleted the mass mail but suddenly remembered tat i have printed a hard copy of it and left it in my bag. I took out the mail, and started searching for the name "Michael" in the recipient lists. As the mailing list was pretty long, I took some time to identify his full name.

7) It took me quite a while before this full name striked my memory bell. ALAS! This guy was a childhood acquaintance of mine. We met each other when our families happened to join the same tour grp to Cameron Highlands.... 20 years ago!!!!! Although we did continue to see each other subqly as we were in the same primary sch, we didnt communicate much. I could remember his name NOT becos it is unique. In fact, its a v common chinese name but when read out together with his extraordinary surname, we made a joke out of it during the tour.

I reflected the incidents that happened today, and wonder how karmic links work for people. If he hasnt joined the same table as me early in the morning, if we havent chatted further during lunch, if he nv mentioned abt the shuttle service, if my colleague wasnt interested in it, if my colleague didnt forget to get his contact number, if i didnt print out the hard copy email, I would have easily bypass and forget this person after today. And I wud nv be able to identify him as a childhood aquaintance since we didnt work in the same company premise.

Frankly speaking, I duno how karmic links work, but i m sure its an interesting encounter for myself. I may consider acknowledging him by dropping him an email on monday.

You care?

I did so much things today tat I could hardly pen them down.

1) Took a new route to work but ended up paying ERP twice
2) Ventured deep down into the hidden WWII bunkers on Kent Ridge (behind the now modern looking Uni Hall)
3) Quarreled on phone again abt work, wat else?
4) Had a nice dinner with OWY and CK at Arts canteen
5) Attended the NUSBS Forum and have a great time helping the jnrs tpt back the stuffs to YIH

Was very upset the once well camouflaged WWII bunkers on Kent Ridge were now pretty much exposed. My last visit to this place was in 2001 and the place was still pretty untouched. Now, the natural green surrounding the place showed signs of human destructions. Although the place is already fenced up, somehow, i managed to climb my way down the steep kent ridge slopes to reach it. Today, under the broad day light, i found out there were even more hidden bunkers down the slopes of kent ridge. Quite a contrasting view to the modernised looking University Hall and Ext A hostel.

Was having a chat with Fenny on our way home, when she asked my opinion on the trend of NUSBS. Frankly speaking, I think the objectives of the society has taken a great change in recent yrs. When i was a freshie in NUSBS, it was greatly emphasized by the leaders then that NUSBS is NOT supposed to be mistakened as a buddhist sch/org that teaches Dharma to the campus community. Instead, it's primary role is to act as a link or bridge between the campus community and the Dharma. I was not around then, but i heard the primary focus of NUSBS then were the Chinese and English Dharma camps, Dharma talks and weekly faculty DC. Other than tat, its mostly thru the fellowship built up in the society, tat members introduce to one another on any available external Buddhist courses like the ones at Mahaprajna and SBF.

Some yrs back, NUSBS was flourishing and was at its peak. The leaders soon found out that they have enough resources to organise Dharma courses on our own ie. Basic Buddhism Course + Meditation Course, bringing buddhism even closer to the campus. Gradually, I realise that the objectives of NUSBS has sinced shifted from acting as a link to become a campus society who offer buddhism teachings to the campus community. It is not necc a bad shift, but definitely NOT under circumstances when resources (manpower) are no longer easily available.

Instead, I wud rather BS goes back to the olden days, when the leaders effectively tap on the available external resources to bring Dharma to the campus community. Eg1. Without the link made by Peifen, there wudnt be so many members getting to know Sayalay Dipankara and participating in the annual meditation retreat. I am sure many members have benefitted from this link. Eg2. With Vincent's link with Sagaramudra Society, several members got the chance to under take the 3 refuges and 5 precepts + benefitted from the various Dharma classes/talks organised by Hai Yin. Not forgetting the link with NDR, where Ven Kaizhao effectively motivates many many more members in the Dharma.

I have not spoken my thoughts on BS for a long time, cos what i feel or say may not be necc true and applicable. Probably wat i wrote now is jus for myself, haha... anyone bothers?

Rantings

Despite having passed our IPPTs, my colleague and I decided to carry on with our weekly jogging sessions:

- to keep fit
- to continue to lose weight
- to aim better 2.4km timing
- to constantly go for more IPPTs so tat we can clear the one on jul 06.

NUS SRC track was so crowded and full of vibrance. I am glad that the students are enjoying their campus life.

Was reading the SPI ghost forum when someone mentioned abt the old Tekong Camp I. He wrote:

I was a recruit in Tekong, Camp 1 Echo Company back in 1997. It was only a short distance from Charlie Company. I never really seen the door, cos I did not dare to and my policy at that time was to mind my own business, and just endure that three months. And I did not know of the three door bunk at that time. But well, I enjoyed my time there, the beautiful sunset, the comaradarie, the home-sickness, the Echo dog, the good memories. It was hard going through it, but now that it has long passed, I am filled with memories never to be forgotten.

Coincidentally, I was from the same BMT batch as this person since Echo company (the one i was in too) was only restarted in late 1997. And I share exactly the same sentiments as him - Tekong will always be one of the most memorable place in my heart - the beautiful sunset, the comaradarie, the home-sickness, the Echo dogs......

The feeling of home-sickness was the most overwhelming, especially when looking across the tekong field, admiring the Singapore mainland, which is beautifully lighted with building lights and street lamps. It was the first time i realised and appreciated how lovely my home, singapore, was.

I guess the experiences by old Tekong camp 1 recruits would be v different from the newer soldiers. The long wooden bunk, lousy squeakly metal beds, super thin sponge mattress, tall rusty metal cupboards, dirty & rough-surfaced floor, not forgetting the horrible army cooked food (SUX) + having to march to cookhouse with our left hand holding on to our mess tray, fork, spoon and mugs + having to wash them with pathetic bar soaps and rotten sponges + clearing the rubbish and waste foods at the cookhouse after meals.

Recruits starting from 1998 no longer experience the above. They started to have nice tall beds, king coil mattress, wooden cupboards with personal compartments, catered food where they din even need to wash their own plates after use, minus the irritating mess trays, fork, spoon from their cupboards during stand-by-bed. They can even walk around in their bunks bare-footed as if its their own home....

And guess wat.. . i last heard soldiers nowadays do not need to do area cleaning, as all these r done by outside contractors!!! Alamak, I wonder if youngsters nowadays still fold their blankets and make their own beds after waking up. I seriously doubt so... pathetic... sighz.

Peeking The Peak

Who? - Jane

Where? - The Peak

Do What? - Peeking at The Peak

Sometimes i wonder why the great differences in ppl's lives. Some ppl are jus so freaking rich, living in mansions while others are homeless, suffering from natural calamities.

Why are we working so hard? To earn money? To earn for what? To hope to get a better life? But do we get a better life? No? Why not? Cos we are working so hard? So why continue to do so? Why? Why? Why?

Out again..

Places I visited yday:

1) Lower Pierce Reservoir boardwalks
2) Sungei Khatib Bongsu
3) Punggol Beach


Entering the forested area with excitment

Breath-taking scenery of the nature

My friend having a great time taking photo shoots around

Nice invigorating air in after a heavy shower in the morning


The last fishing farm/kampung in Singapore (i dun mean artificial fish farms)

The owner of the farm is very friendly - typical kampung style.




Need i say more? Sunset at Punggol beach is splendid (Jane, UK is right!)

Finally!

Finally finally finally finally finally finally............ i passed my IPPT this evening!

I know probably to many guys out there, passing IPPT is no big deal. But for someone who was never really very fit, it wasnt easy for me. Although I didnt face much problems clearing my IPPT when i was younger, the problem came after i had my surgery in 1999.

Prior to 2005, my last taken IPPT was in 1998, which was 7 yrs from now. In other words, I have not taken IPPT for the past 7 yrs. I regretted that throughout these 7 yrs, i have nv really put in effort in building up my physical fitness. Tat explains the struggle now.

But i am glad my passing today was not a marginal one. In fact, my timing was good enough for me to pass under the Cat X criteria, even though i am already in Cat Y. It may not be a splendid timing, but i aim to work hard and further push down my timing to 11 min for the 2.4km run.

If u r wondering what is this funny background song, its the theme song for this v big HK serial 'Jin Zhi Yu Nie". Recently, I have been fascinated by this HK drama, which featured on the ugliness and selfishness of human beings in the Forbidden City. The show was nothing but all abt how the concubines and consorts pit against one another, either just for survival or personal greed to climb up the imperial ranks . This drama kinda coincide with my sudden interest in Chinese history, which include studying the different Dynasties and lives of a few famous Chinese historical icons.

Work is piling up more than ever. Is it really a trend in the modern society that Pay is getting lesser, but work is getting more each day?

\_o_/

Its such an irony. All of us started off as strangers, and most of us were low moraled. We loathed each and every of our meeting sessions. After 2 mths, we have become a very closely knitted and bonded grp.

We laughed, sweat and suffered together. We see ourselves improving weeks after weeks. Our common topics were at abundance - complain abt work, fitness, money, petrol price, cars etc. We were so used to seeing one another every other few days tat we soon begin to take it for granted. But we realised that this evening will be the last session for everyone. I admit that although we chatted like old time friends, i hardly know any of their names.

I used to think that i have good listening ears and give v good advices. And now, i feel very embarassed tat i actually harboured such a thought in the past. I think i pretty sux at giving ppl advices or even comments. Nowadays, whenever ppl seek my opinion or advices, i tend to give them very crappy replies. I am afraid of saying the wrong things, and resulting them in making the wrong decisions. I have become more paranoid.

So to all those frens who have seeked my opinions on watever issues, pls pardon me for giving non-constructive replies.

Credit Card Woeees~~

There are indeed some very powerful web tools nowadays. Firstly, I have 2 web services (intro by Jane) that could help me detect the visitors to my blog. Of cos the names of the ppl will not be shown, but the IP address, Countries and name of the companies/institutes will be shown. Majority of my readers come from NTU, NUS and i also have visitors from a Taiwan firm? Haha.

Next, friendster has a new service that will help u detect who are the ppl who have viewed your profile. From the list of viewers I have, i saw one familiar name/face. Arghhhh........... thot the next victim shld be zeathereal or even gabriel already!? Dun laff dun laff. .. most of u shld know who i am refering to already - Joking la..

Yday, I received my credut card Statement of Account in horror. It was written that I have not completely cleared my bills for the prev month and hence, i was charged an interest rate of $50++ for this month. The funny thing is that I have applied for GIRO to auto pay for my balance every mth.

I called up XXX Bank and found out that GIRO has only helped me pay $50 of my bill last month, meaning i still owe XXX Bank $800++ which resulted in the interest charges of $50++. And this XXX Bank officer told me it was my instruction to them to keep my GIRO deduction limit at $50.

@^&^&^#*)@$*(@! CRAZY! Why wud i set such a stupid rule to myself? I called up my personal bank (the one which i use to pay XXX Bank by GIRO) to confirm that i didnt set this rule to restrict my payment to $50. Yeah, I did not set it! Immediately, I called back XXX Bank hotline to tell them abt it. The officers were quite useless.. they told me to write a letter to some dept and explain the situation. I was told that they have no email feedback sys.

But am i going to waste my pen, paper, envelop and stamp on such a silly mistake made by them? I searched the web and found out there's a channel that i could write to them. My initial mail was drafted very nicely and politely, requesting them to investigate the matter, and ask if they could waive off my $50++ interest charge. Upon 2nd thought, I felt i was so silly. I changed the tone of my email, and this time, i insisted that they have made the mistake and demanded them to pay me back the $50++ charges. They replied me today with an apology and told me they have waived off the charges.

I have to thank my Big Big Boss who once criticised tat the way i wrote my email. She thot my writing style was too soft and wud never get the other parties to work. Of cos, such an approach applies to only specific situations. Anyway, I couldnt help but think tat the mistake made by XXX bank was not genuine, but jus an underhand method to 'earn' the money of its customers. Afterall, thats how they earn money, by giving u credits and earning the interests u pay them. So gotta be careful..

No mood to write

Dun feel like writing lately. Wrote a few entries halfway but didnt load them up eventually. Wait till my mood of writing comes back :D

Quit quit quit - not yet

To ae2004: Its a rather surprising fact that I have not been comparing much betw my prev job & present one. There were indeed comparisons when i first hopped over, but v soon i almost forgot abt my old job. Its only last nite after a long chat with my ex-colleague that brought me back memories of my ex-manager.

Anyway, if i were to compare between these 2 jobs, i wud said my prev job sux super big time, although life is much tougher now than before. I rather die a busy man than living + rotting in a stagnant place.

We had a "Voice of Workers" session today with my big big boss within my team. My direct manager was not allowed to join so that we are able to speak our mind. I spare no time to shoot out all my problems and difficulties in the job, risking the fact that i may end myself in big trouble for offending my manager. According to my big big boss, she could see that i am struggling at work, and thus, i was not performing at all.

I will be telling my boss: I always see myself as a brave warrior, and is prepared to go for war and put up a fierce fight. However, i am now only given empty weapons and guns. I need the ammunitions to fight the war.

ae2004: Quit if you think you shld, dun think too much. I quitted my prev job without giving much thoughts, and i am glad i left that company.

----________----

My friend was feeling very lousy cos her boss gave her a pretty negative review on her job performance. I can kinda emphatise with her as I always feel that besides monetary awards, one of the greatest rewards an employee wud wanna get is the recognition/appreciations from his/her boss.

Back in my prev job, I have no worry on this issue as my manager and his direct boss, my GM, often showed their appreciation for my work and effort put in. But to me, those were really child's play. Working in the MNC, the bosses do not really care much abt you. They give u almost complete freedom, but will squeeze u mercilessly for results when they need them.

So in a way, i feel the great difference in the way my ex-boss and present boss treat me. My ex-boss talked to me whole day long, exchanged smses, msn and we even jogged together. I know his wife as well and played with his baby countless of times. My present boss is someone that I do not like to get near. He doesn talk to me much, and i dun think he knows what i am doing everyday, and i dun think he is impressed with my work. I was given his msn account but i refused to add him in my list. The culture is v different.

Now, my dad and brother are at overseas, and both their cars will be left at the carpark untouched for quite sometime. What a waste... sometimes when u dun need to use the car, they are available. Sometimes when u need a car, u got none!

Once again, i lost my faith in mankind. There are too many ppl out there pretending to be nice, caring and helpful. But they are actually most nice, caring and helpful to themselves.

下一站在哪里？

Thanks to songgechan and ae2004 (he copycatted??) for this interesting statement - 下一站在哪里？ The photo of this bridge kinda coincide with this statement - it was taken at Sungei Buloh Nature Trail (once again, i repeat its NOT sungei buloh Wetland Reserves!).

Do you have any idea where this bridge will lead u to? Does this path look scary to you? Indeed, its a path of uncertainty, but tats the only path you can take. Brace yourself and walk bravely foward.

This bridge actually brings you to a swampy area. Not many ppl wud like to go there, to get your shoes dirty and to feed the mosquitoes. Nobody likes to take on a bumpy path. Nobody likes obstacles and problems - 麻烦. But do we have a choice?

My fear of uncertainty and problems actually gives me even more problems, worries and stress. I detest having to spend efforts to overcome troubles and obstacles. And the more i think abt it, the more i feel myself drained.

The best advice is to tell myself to take watever tat comes to me graciously - "Come heaven or hell" (eh doesn it sound v familar to someone? haha). I shldnt be afraid of problems and obstacles. I shldnt be run down by them. I shldnt...

Low Luck

I went to the following places today:

1) Hindhede Quarry
2) Bukit Batok Quarry
3) Bk Batok WWII Memorial Site
4) Sungei Buloh Trail (not the wetland reserve)
5) Sembawang Nature Park

Took a lot of pictures, but i am not in the mood of putting them up. The trip today was costly, not only did i spend on my fuel money, i was also issued a parking summon at Bk Batok. The first parking offence i ever kena in my 5.5 yrs of driving experience.. damm suay.

My fave site today was the WWII Memorial site. Upon climbing up the long flight of steps built by the POWs (as ordered by the Japs), I gave my deepest respect to all the mighty soldiers who have lost their lives for their respective countries. It must be a tough project for them to build the shrine, but wat was left today was only a long flight of steps.

Sembawang Park is also nice. A very spacious and peaceful park. Sungei Buloh trail was not bad either, at least better than Sungei Buloh Nature Reserve itself. The 2 quarries are quite typical though.

I didnt enjoy the trip today. The summon was dampening, in addition to some ridiculous drivers who honked at me for no valid reasons, not forgetting their fiery stares too, damm them! Also, i forgot to exit via the woodlands exit and ended up jamming myself in the traffic congestion towards JB customs. My luck is really running low....

My hairstyle is back to normal again (gosh, it takes me only slightly more than a month to recover from a botak head to an armani head, fast isnt it?).

What can i do?

I encountered more problems at work today. During one of the conference calls i had today with people from various countries, i lost my patience and started to scold a few ppl whom i think were trying to push away the jobs. To my surprise, none of them argued or talked back to me, which is quite contrary to their characters. But i think i m just courting my own death and creating problems for myself in the future after offending these ppl...

The emails were not spared either. After the conf call, a super non-cooperative lady from the team started to create trouble by making unreasonable requests, distorting the finalised plan i have drawn up for everyone. I turned mad, and in my fit of anger, i replied an email back to her to ask her to get her manager to write to me. The fact is tat this lady is already at managerial level herself, and getting her manager to write to me is like a mouse ordering a lion to meet him. But what can i do?

I got a fren out to accompany me for dinner in town. I initiated to watch the movie - The Myth. Its a nice movie, i like it, and i thot watching the movie can make me feel better. But i felt extremely lousy inside the cinema thinknig of all my problems, and i felt even more lousy after the movie... grrrrrrr.. But it goes back to the same thing - What can i do?

I m thankful to some of the kind advices given by my frens. But pls pardon me for being unappreciative or ingrateful, some of the 'theorectical advice' doesn help, it makes me feel worse only. Who doesn know all these golden rules and advices? But its not easy to digest and swallow, esp when u r feeling extremely lousy and down. Instead, they become a great sore and makes u feel more painful and depress.

But really thanks to sumantri for his brilliant anaylsis of my problems.. which i think really help to make me feel better. What he said really makes sense to me. Thanks thanks. . ..

When is this roller coaster ride going for an upride again?

Lowest Point of my Life

I know its exaggerating to say its now the lowest point of my entire life - but it is indeed very low and i am feeling lousy.

I took my IPPT test just now, passed all my static stations comfortably but failed my 2.4km run by 6 seconds. I struggled together with my friend for all 6 rounds but he managed to make a dash during the last few metre. He passed by a few seconds, and left me to fail by a few seconds : ( I suddenly recalled the countless no. of times that we had taken our own initiatives to go for trainings together over the past few mths, be it at NUS or East Coast Park. I was always the stronger runner, but not for today. Arghh.. i feel so alone now .. i m left to train alone . . sob sob sob.

My work is shit. Yes, notice the term i used for my job has been degrading again and again. I duno when is this torture going to end. I told my friend tat this shitty feeling will only end on the day when either:

1) Most of the shits are finally resolved, and i can have a good time relaxing
2) I got immuned to all the shits, i will no longer be so affected by them
3) I quit

Option 3 is kinda out, not so much of becos i need the job and money badly but rather, I dun wanna add a 'failing' mark in my career history. Giving up makes me a loser. SO far, i havent been much a loser in my life, except for my physical fitness...

I feel i am having a v tough job. But that does not mean my company is a bad place to work in, cos most of my colleagues are having good time enjoying life, although complaints can be heard every now and then. And yes, they took pity of me cos of the job scope i am taking. An observant colleague also noticed tat i have been yawning a lot lately, which is contrary to his impression of me as someone who is often very awake, alert and virbant.

Arghh.. it sux. The feeling sux....

Whats new?

What's new? Nothing! Here i go again to complain abt my work, work, work ...... and nothing else.....

A senior advised me last nite over msn that i shld focus on 2 portions of my work. First portion is to learn my stuffs well, make sure i know all the things i needed to know, the process flows, the practices, technical knowledge etc. After i am good enough, I shld start to work on the 2nd portion which is communication skills, cos this job really requires lot of communication with different people from all over the world.

Right now, a lot of my work cant be done smoothly largely due to my lack in experience. I also realise that i am often NOT bold, confident and firm enough to discuss terms with ppl. As a result, i gave myself a lot of problems at work. Nobody has ever given me the above advise which i think is very true. I am grateful.

Lets talk a bit abt music. The background music (if u can hear) is one of the classics i like from jacky cheung. However, my favourite songs are not melancholic ballads, but rather, fast techno songs. Next on the list are the melancholic ones. Light-hearted and chirpy songs are never on my fave list.

Orite, prep to sleep and enter another battle tmr!

bla bla bla........

I dragged myself to work today, because i knew a big issue was waiting for me to solve. And no, my problem is not solved yet, but at least there s some progress. I jus checked my work mail and found out tat this Ang Moh is still unable to understand wat i want. I wudnt wanna call him as i believe we might have even greater difficulties understanding each other.

My colleague and I were engaging in the same conference call today. He commented that I could speak both mandarin and english pretty well. Seriously, I dun think so. I used to speak more fluent english back in my sec sch days, but i got 'corrupted' somehow in TJC. . army made it worse, and NUS didnt make it better. My chinese speaking sux as usual...

Even in emails, I thought i have written very clear and simple english for ppl to understand. Sad to say, i often get misunderstood replies. Its either ppl are too busy to read my email carefully enough to digest them, or they cant be bothered, act blur or worst case - there s problem in my written english.

Whilst my work issue was not solved yet, i was thrown with another big news - my dad has been warded to the hosp, due to an emergency need to remove some stones in his kidneys. The hosp $$$$ is scary.. and most insurance policy doesn cover hosp bills. So when u buy insurance, pls understand that the difference betw life plan, critical illness, disabilities AND HOSPTILAZATION coverage (which most ppl neglected).

Blah...

Sorry if i have sounded rude on my previous entry tat i found attending the sharing session a torture. Its actually something very individual and obviously does not represent how the rest of the alumni felt. Some of them did enjoy the session though. Most imptly, i wish to thanks the organisers for their effort in bridging up the alumni with the newbies. Tats definitely something essential.

Its really just me... tat probably becos my present job has kinda caused a drastic change in my lifestyle. I am not in my best of moods lately, and i feel less energetic. With such a foul mood, I probably am unable to induce a positive influence or impact on others. So ppl who need my help better stay away from me.

Another negative aspect of life tat came to my mind is on bgr relationship. There has been a lot of weddings going on this month. So wat if its a 'fairy tale' marriage? So wat if both parties are pious and serious in their spiritual cultivation? They still get themselves divorced eventually. Well, i am not trying to tease or jeer at the plight of my friends, but i m jus uncomfortable when ppl tend to paint too nice a picture on buddhist couples or buddhist marriage.

The church pastor at the wedding ceremony mentioned that marriage is a complete union of 2 individuals. After the marriage, both parties no longer behave individually, but act as a union. They shld live together and do everything together, with a single heart. Pardon me.. i m not against any religion but i have to disagree with him TOTALLY. In my view, thats rubbish. Such marriage will NOT last.

Love betw 2 persons shld just be the overlapping portion of 2 individual lives. It is the common area cum platform where both parties share similar views, interests and engaging in common activities. Other than that, they shld have their own life, portions that do not overlap but require mutual respect from both parties.

A pair of friends has divorced. Another pair has broken off. The 3rd pair is on the rocks. I wish all of them well and happy.

Alone

I have 3 events in a row today.

1) NUSBS MC Retreat

Pls pardon, hopefully no offence to anyone, but i found my time spent in the sharing session a torture. Actually i duno why or since when it happened that i began to detest sharing sessions. And I dun think what i 'shared' today were beneficial to my juniors. The more we tok, the more it gave me the 纸上谈宾 kind of feeling. Actions speak louder than words.

I may be wrong, but i personally feel tat the best guidiance shld be coming directly from their immediate predecessors. I am really toooo far apart from them liao. Just like a heartless guy who no longer have any feelings for his gf, my feeling for BS has kinda died. I feel that my future contributions to the society will no longer be driven by passion, but rather, by obligation.


2) Colleague's Wedding Dinner

I attended a church wedding of my colleague. My biggest boss, that powerful lady, commented on my ear ring. She expressed her dislike for guys having ear piercing. Gosh.. i must have given her a pretty bad impression. I guess i shld stop wearing accessories to work then - no choice, i work under her.

My colleagues are a rather playful bunch of ppl. But i m sick of seeing them everyday at work, so i wud like to give myself a break from them during my weekends. I left the wedding dinner super early.


3) NUSBS FOC2000 Gang Gathering

We have our annual mid autumn festival gathering at NUS Engine bridge tonite. We recalled the many fui nites we have spent on the bridge for BS activities. We even danced the 第一支舞， haha. The only diff is that we no longer wait for buses at the bus stop to go back to our halls. Instead, we went to our cars and drove home. We have all grown up, our lifestyles have changed.

Once again, they were pressurising me to get a gf. I am one of the only 2 guys left in the grp without a gf. Pls.. i dun think i have much of a problem chasing skirts or picking up gals... but pls..... leave me alone - i want to be alone.

Lanterns

Hopefully this pic doesn look spooky to you. They are colourful lanterns i hanged up on a tree branch at Labrador Park tonite.

Today must be the most terrible day I had so far at work. I have nv encountered such intense pressure in sch. Cherish your school life while you can, considering you can have almost full control of your own schedule and can manage your own time. Working life depends a lot on others.

Back to Labrador Park, its indeed a v nice place. However, Singapore is too small to accomodate all. Even a super ulu park like L.P was filled with ppl, carrying lanterns, BBQ and having picnics etc. The carpark was also full, with one stupid car blocking me, preventing me from driving out from my lot. I have to sound my horn for a very long time, before the owner came to move his car away @^%@%#*&

My schedule for tmr is super packed. I wonder how i can rush from place 1 to place 2 to place 3 within a few hours' time. From extreme east to extreme west manz... tired. . lei.

Blood Blood Blood

Whenever I feel frustrated and stress, what approach shld i use?

1) Drive to some quiet places like the reservoir parks or places of nature
- Effectiveness : High
- Feasibility : Low (Can only do so during weekends and daytime)
- Conclusion : So i cant apply this method always due to the above constraints

2) Pick up the mic and sing to my heart's content
- Effectiveness : Low
- Feasibility : Moderate (Sometimes bro watching tv + noise pollution)
- Conclusion : Sometimes works, sometimes doesn work, depends on wats troubling me...

3) Seek solace in friends (on msn or phone)
- Effectiveness : Moderate (must choose the right listening ears)
- Feasibility : Moderate ( friends are not always available)
- Conclusion : Works rather effectively, but do not wish to constantly bother my friends. My problems are my problems, why bring my troubles to my friends?

4) Attack my blog
- Effectiveness: High
- Feasibility : High (can blog anywhere, at home, office, outside using palmtop)
- Conclusion : So far, the favourite method for me to vent my frustrations, express my feelings and organise + conclude my thoughts.

Yes, i have just finshed reading and reply my work mails, find out the latest updates and issues which i will have to face tommorow. The feelings sux. But my blog is always here to release my pressure.

As my course ended early today, I decided to make good use of this 'rare chance' to make my way to SGH to donate blood. Why issit a 'rare chance'? During 1 of the ITE courses i attended last yr, i got acquainted to this Snr Staff Nursing Officer of HSA, who told me that they have difficulties coping with the crowds during after office hrs and weekends. They wud most prefered donors to turn up during office hrs. It seems that HSA has made quite a few improvements - Look at the fanciful bandage round my arm!

Midway during my blood donation, a pretty cute gal, probably abt 20 yr old, came in to join us in the donation. She told the nurse that it was her first time donating blood. When she saw the blood flowing out from her arm through the tube, she got very excited and asked the nurse : '" oh... thats my blood? so fast!" I could sense her satisfaction from the grin on her face - sadhu for her!

A chinese guy came in next. He told the nurses that he is from China, and is only in singapore for a short business trip. He has made multiple blood donations back in China, and wud like to contribute his blood over at Singapore here. Sadhu for him too!

Once again, pardon me for being harsh. To those ppl who are medically fit to donate blood but yet refuse to do so be it you r selfish, a chicken or watever crap... you suck! If u kena accident one day and need blood tranfusion, make sure u dun take other ppl's bloods.

On course - but still on working mode

Hope this entry will not end up as another J.A.N.E again... cos i have nothing much to report or reflect abt tonite.

As usual, I checked my work mail immediatley after i reached home, even before i went for my bath. Saw a big arrow from Korea asking me to do something, which i thot shldnt be in my portfolio. As such, my 'defensive mode' was turned on naturally. Hence, I forwarded the mail to my boss, complaining to him abt the issue, and that this Korean guy shldnt have asked me to do this and that....

During bathing, i realised tat i have not replied the email professionally. I sound more like pushing the job, then to help solve the real problem, esp the sender from Korea must be as equally helpless as me. As such, i try to recollect the entire issue, and slowly analyse what might have gone wrong throughout the entire process. Hence, I recalled back the email i sent out earlier (yeah, our company mail has this function), and replaced it with a new email - providing the background of this issue, the possible failure and suggestions. Although my analysis and solutions may not be right, at least i feel i show some professionalism for my job.

It seems that most giant companies are slowly selling off and out-sourcing their departments. Even depts like R&D, finance and H R are not spared. Only 2 grps of ppl will remain - Marketting and Program/Project Managers. I am learning hard to become an experienced program/project manager now.

POS

I seem to be dealing a lot with the term "POS" lately. I am currently attending a 3-day course at Grand Corpthorne Waterfront hotel. And POS was greatly emphasized throughout my entire course today - Project Objective Statement.

Just becos i missed out the right exit at the expressway, i found myself wasting a few more dollars (on erps) plus 30 more minutes to get to my destination. Nvetheless, the day was compensated by the v good course contents + good food.

In fact jus within my 16mths of working experience, I have already attended abt 6 such typical training courses (learning thru using of flipcharts, grp discussions, strategy games, mini projects etc). While most of the courses i attended were kinda bullshxxting, i found this one rather different. Not just becos its held in a very grand hotel function room with good food, excellent services and nice ambience, but the course contents are really very useful and applicable, in addition to the wonderful methodologies, tips and experiences shared by the trainer + fellow course mates. HP is indeed very generous in providing its staff with really value-for-money courses.

If u bother, take a nice 'stroll' down the right column of my blog. I have uploaded some of the nice pictures which i have taken over the past few mths of my nature explorations. And yeah, they were all taken using my nokia6230, very good for a cam phone isnt it? Trust me, such quality are not obtainable from a motorola or samsung (of exactly the same specs) - cos i owned all 3 brands before!

Okie, hope this entry doesn end up as J.A.N.E - Just another nonsensical entry

What type of person I am

Sometimes I really wonder what role or character am i playing to my friends. While I strongly believe I do possess multiple selfs, I dun exactly call it split personality. I will not be surprised tat if 2 of my friends were to describe me, the descriptions wud be so different that a 3rd party wud thot as if they were describing 2 different persons.

Perhaps to some friends, I am a kind-hearted, helpful and reliable friend who is good in giving advices and suggestions. To another grp, I may be some critical fellow, who loves to give negative comments, criticisms and unpleasant remarks. While to the 3rd grp, I may be a cynical or eccentric fellow, someone deep and v hard to understand out there. In other words, the Om you know may not be the Om his other friends know.

I remembered when i was in the army, we often need to do peer appraisals, and one section wud be on 'popularity' (which is based how much we honour integrity, helpfulness , team work + cooperativeness etc). When i was in the BMT, i was somehow ranked somewhere in the middle among my platoon of 40+ ppl. When i moved on to SISPEC, i was actually quite honoured to be ranked 2nd! (i nv thot ppl like me so much then, heh heh!). But when i moved on further to the Specialist Training course, i was ranked last 3rd among my platoon of 18 ppl.

When I was in JC, the gals in my glass hated me to the core and wrote me hate mail - cos they said i always disturb them. But after leaving jc for so many yrs, i became one of the very few guys who remain close with them. They told me abt a month ago tat when they read the 'testimonials' left on my friendster, they thought they have gotten the 'wrong' Gordon!!! wahahah... but once again, i repeat tat comments left on friendsters are ALL overly rated.

So which is my real self? No doubt i see myself growing up and changing quite a lot over the years, I have nv bothered to fake myself in front of my friends - and i can truthfully say that i always present my most genuine and sincere self to my friends. But how you wish to interpret me is ...err.. your own business, yeah?

I know i have been irritating to some ppl ( and i apologise for it). But to other friends who have really appreciated me as a good friend, i thank you for giving me the chance.

Quarriessss

Places I visited today:
1) Bk Timah Nature Reserves
2) Singapore Quarry
3) Hindhede Quarry (in vain)
4) Sembawang Hot Spring
5) Pierce Reservoirs

My last attempt at Bk Timah hill was slightly more than a decade ago. Today, my colleague and I took a more challenging route, and nbz... some of the steps were as high as my knee level. Nvetheless, it was a pretty short trail, v cooling and peaceful. There was also a huge fallen tree (5 times thicker than me?), and its fallen trunk extended abt at least 20 over metres.

The sad thing was that the summit/peak of bk timah is such a bore. One can no longer have a bird's eye view of Singapore (the water catchment area and 3 reservoirs), as the trees have all grown up, blocking the views. I was amazed by how fast these trees go.. but think abt it, the last time i went to the summit was 17yrs ago, when i was still a pri sch kid. The nice scenery i once enjoyed was no longer available.. sighz.

Next, we tried to access the Hindhede Quarry, but in vain. The cliff was simply too steep from the Bk Timah side, so we decided to try our luck on Singapore Quarry instead, which we tried accessing from Rail-way Mal sidel. We bashed through a v thin forests before reaching an abandoned road, leading us to the quarry (see pic). I believe this road was once used by big trucks to transport out the granites from the quarry, but the road has been blocked and abandoned since. And lady luck was really on our side tat we soon found the 'entrance' to the quarry!!! We were v excited, even though the quarry was fenced up. The place was really so peaceful, quiet but also deserted tat i wonder when it was last visited.

The 3rd destination was to visit the hot spring at Sembawang. I heard tat the hot spring was located within the military ground, and the govt has to specially re-fence the military ground so that the public can access to it (after much requests from the citizens). Sad to say... no hot spring was found. Instead, we only find a cemented ground with a few taps tat were gushing out with extremely hot water (from the spring of cos!). No natural sights.. shld have done more homework before i visit it today.

Last stop was Pierce reservoirs - which i have been before.

A nice but very tiring walk for today. Hindhede Quarry is our next target destination, but i heard the ONLY accessible entrance is restricted to only pass-holders of certain rock country clubs.. damm..

Pepys Hill Tour

(Click this picture for the enlarged version)


This aftn, I decided to take a break from work and made a visit to the Canopy Walk. The Canopy walk is not be mistakened as the Tree Top Walk. I feel that the latter pales much in comparison, although its more popular among Singaporeans.

Canopy walk- Measuring 280-metres long, the bridge links Kent Ridge Park to the museum Reflections of Bukit Chandu (pic of the house above). Walk along the bridge will be able to see sunbirds, doves, squirrels, lizards, and white-crested laughing thrushes. It is said that this is exactly the place where the last battle of Singapore was fault, before the Britons surrendered to the Japs.

Trust me, this is another nice place. Whats the big deal with Tree Top walk?

...

Last sunday, i failed by 2.4km run by 10 seconds. Today, I failed by 1 min plus ..... really duno wat to say. On the other hand, i am v pleased with my static stations performance.

First thing i did when i reach home jus now as to check my work mails again. I feel I have become an emotional slave for my job. My work has been affecting my mood lately, but not the extent of affecting my sleep or appetitie yet, phew... I hope to take it positively, as a form of training and toughening myself. One good thing is i will be attending a professional course next week in town, a good break from work. But coming back i must be prepared to face a huge heap of arrows and issues.

Talking abt karma. Firstly, the email and blog acct of this rather infamous blogger werehacked. Next, someone set up a hate-blog for her, with a lot of her pictures photoshoped in extremely nasty ways. The fact is that she has been writing nastily on others and photoshopping their photos too. It reminds of throwing out a ball onto the court, and eventually it will bounce back to you. Who knows? She may chance upon my site, and decided to 'publicise' me on her blog and begin her attacks on me.. awww.. i veri scared.

Yeah, i am getting slimmer... dun believe, see me yourself next time, haha.

Embracing Challenges

NUSBS FOC 2001 Gamers-sub-com outing.

The ex-Pacific cafe at Citylink was purposely chosen as the place for our gathering, as thats exactly the place where we had many of our FOC 2001 gamers meeting some 5 yrs back. Haunted house, temple tour, telematches, mud crawls etc were all originated from this place, haha. The preparation of this camp started so early that we have almost 10 mths of preparation, which prop explains the close bonds between the 17 (ooopps left abt 10 now) of us. In fact, neither of the 2 MCs i was in were as close.

We recalled and reflected, that all of us have indeed grown up a lot. We were only poor students then with limited spending power. Our topics were all revolving around sch, lectures, bs and anything abt the campus. Now, we talk abt our jobs, income, credit cards, views on marriage etc. For a moment, i thot its a very nice feeling to see ourselves 'growing up'.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Chunkit asked me if i find my job stressful. My immediate answer was NO. In fact, i dun really know how i feel abt my job, but its definitely very tough and demanding, which makes me feel helpless most of the time. One of my snrs have advised me to use 'value-add' as the pillar to support myself in this job. That really makes me feel better. I feel myself getting stretched, unlike my prev job.

A Principle Engineer was telling me today that he has been waking up at 2am every night, reason being very stressed with his job. I was really taken by surprise, as i wud never expect him to feel so stressful abt his job. Being in this job for more than 10yrs, i thot he has become a very lao jiao and knows how to handle his job very swiftly and easily. But i am wrong.

I recalled what Jaisey told us last nite at the gathering was so right. ' NO point taking a job which is easy and boring'. She has always been such a confident and positive lady that carries herself superbly well. At our age, we shld really embrace challenges......

-_-

The much earlier version of this currently v popular song. Although the new version is now sang by a very powerful singer, somehow, i still prefer the older version. The feelings injected in this song was jus so right in the original version. The exasperation, the aspiration and the outburst are so real...

100+ ppl were killed in the medan air crash - may all the deceased have an early rebirth.

Read the blog of a fellow fren who got rid of some spiders (Daddy Long Legs) in her room using tissue paper. I cant help but feel very remorseful of my own actions when i was younger. I used to find daddy long legs quite often under a shelf at home. As these daddy long legs have really very long legs, i wud use a lighter to burn off their long legs, leaving their body to 'survive'. Of cos these spiders must have died without their legs. I did even more cruel acts like sometimes putting sugar solutions on the gound to as bait to attract the ants. As soon as the ants gathered around their new found food, i wud burn them using lighters, or catch them one by one and drown them in water. All these cruel and inhumane acts were done when i was at a v young age, and i thoroughly regret my actions and evil thoughts.

When i joined foc2000, i met this gal called jingrui in my grp. We were running from SRC back to YIH when she exclaimed aloud and told us to be careful not step on a trail of ants. I was quite taken aback as I nv expect someone to be so compassionate and particular abt 'killing ants'. But thanks goodness I was taught the Dharma, and i told myself to abstain killing even the slightest living things i see. Sad to say, i did kill a few mosquitoes after tat during my a study session at BRE.

I wud not like to say which actions are right or wrong, but definitely we are sure that certain doings lead to certain outcomes. For all the wrong doings i have done in the past, may i receive my fruits and punishments.

Insurance

Sayalay ever mentioned that the best insurance we can get for ourselves is to meditate and take care of our own karma. I couldnt agree more. Whatever we do now support our future life. Hence, the best policy is to be very mindful of our every action, as if affects our future.

But reality is often harsh, and standards of living in singapore is well known to be very high, esp medical and hosp bills. No matter how good we take care of our own body, we cannot guarantee that we will be free from illness or other misfortunes. Even some great vens around us are diagnosed with terminal illness : (

As such, I have decided to buy myself another set of insurance policy, in additional to an existing one. Although my company has bought me medical coverage policy + i have my own medisave and medishield policy, i feel that they r not enough, considering the freq of my hosp visits. I shld buy one policy when i am still young and healthy.

Besides on medical coverage, buying insurance is also a form of small but good investment. For eg, my dad is now enjoying a moderate sum of money he got back from his insurance investment over the past 2 decades. And the premium to buy at a younger age is significantly less than buying at an old age. I regret that i shld have bought myself one earlier, and i wud have saved up quite a bit.

Alrite sounds as if i am insurance agent myself. But i really see the benefits of spending a bit more every month on insurance.

...

Thanks to Jessy for pulling me to CMC for the meditation session this evening. Used to be able to breeze through an hr of sitting easily, but now it has become a struggle. And i dun have to spell out the reasons why.

I have to repeat the fact that nowadays i dun like Dharma grp discussion or sharing sessions. Somehow, I feel that most of the time, most ppl are unable to share any useful or beneficial stuffs. Ruiting told me this evening that she dun wish to talk but jus wanna listen - exactly how i feel. But fortunately CMC has a few ppl whom i find their sharings very sincere and touching. I found Peifen and Bro Goh's sharings most meaningful.

From the sharings, I identified one of the gravest mistakes tat i sometimes made, and often made by many others - Giving blind advices. Peifen shared that we shld only advise on things which we have personally experienced before. We shld not be telling ppl how 'nice' a place is, without having visted the place ourselves before. Bro Goh reinforced this idea by further sharing his views on the need to understand tat diff ppl are facing diff challenges at diff stages of their life.

V often, ppl love to give advices to others, assuming tat they have a complete understanding of their situations and problems. What might be applicable to you might not necc be applicable to others. So stop telling others what they shld do and shld not do, if you have no fxxking relevant experiences yourself, or u havent tried putting yrself in their shoes yet. And this reminder goes to myself too.

The NUSBSA AGM held today was very efficient and fast. The working style, attitude, feelings and atmosphere generated by these BS snrs were very similar to what i have experienced in BS when i was a jnr member. Hopefully some of these esscence and good practices passed down from batches to batches will be conserved and be continued by the juniors. But somehow once things are lost, they will be lost for good.

I m back into playing my same old role in the alumni. Frankly speaking, i see NOT much purpose in ourselves playing the roles of 'Alumni' in the society. Rather, i see it as an organisation that helps to organise Dharma activities for the public, which i find meaningful. Afterall, I applause to all these snrs whose faith and passion to learn + propagate the Dharma can remain so strong after so many years. Imagine some of the ppl already started raising the white flag after jus 1 yr of committee work.

Somehow the culture of the Buddhist society is v different from the other religious grp. When i was setting up the bs booth for matric fair few yrs ago, i saw that this christian grp has some middle aged helpers, who provided them with the transport and labour (and i bet financial support was included!). I was filled with envy then. And nowadays when i go back to NUS, I wud sometimes meet some of my course mates - and most of them are back to campus for their cell grp activities. The presence of snrs in these christian grp activities is like so common, but i bet any snrs who go back to NUSBS activities will feel alienated. Correct me if i am wrong, haha.

Car-free Day

Sincerely thanks jane for the timely reminder posted on the comment box. I have been taking my job too hard lately that I forgot to enjoy it. For the past month, whenever i reach home esp at nite, the first thing which i wud do is to check my work mail. I dun really call it stress. I duno how to call it. I havent got the time and chance to sort out my own feelings towards it. But i know for sure i have forgotten to enjoy my work/life lately.

I have decided to declare tommorow a 'car-free' day. In other words, I will not be driving tommorow. Firstly becos of the high parking charges in town area (tmr nusbsa agm at raffles place). Secondly due to some internal warnings tat i shldnt drive tmr.

Whenever i was driving and my dad as the passenger, he wud complain abt my slow driving. But on rainy days, it wud be a total contrary, and he wud constantly nag at me to slow down. Reason being : Braking is not effective on wet roads and the car will spin in circles if the gripe is not strong. I always take his words v lightly, as all the prev cars owned by my dad were big cars, with powerful braking systems. But this van obviously doesn belong to that category.

This evening was raining and i was driving towards Chinatown at a moderate speed. The car ahead of me took an abrupt halt at the traffic junction, and i immediately applied my brakes too. My van did slow down significantly but becos the rear wheels were still in spin, in addition to the great reduction of friction due to the wet road surfaces, my vehicle rear began to swerve slightly towards the right behind taking another strong and forceful throw towards the left. I lost control of my vehicle with the front wheels acting jus like the pivot of the spin. Fortunately, i was mindful in time to swerve the steering wheel to keep the vehicle in lane, otherwise, i wud have been hit by the vehicles coming from my rear right.

Besides this freaking incident, I nearly create an accident at a major road junction by the National Library. I was trying to make a right turn at the cross junction when i thot a veh on the opp lane was trying to make a left turn. As such, i proceed to drive across the junction, only to discover tat the veh wanted to go straight! Once again, i was fortunate to brake in time... it was really MY mistake.

My legs became soft after these 2 narrow shaves. I decided to keep my day free of car tmr. And i realise i havent been riding on the MRT since 2005?